Zodiac Academy 8: Sorrow and Starlight
Sorrow and Starlight: Chapter 15

The cold bit deep into my bones and the darkness licked at the inside of my flesh, trying to coax me into it as always. The Shadow Beast was stirring, urging me to shift, and I knew I’d be far warmer if I gave into it and allowed it to take over. But if I let it take my body, then it might take my mind too, and I couldn’t risk that. So instead, I faced the cold, huddled naked against a wall within a cave I’d found to one side of the lake.

Snow had fallen freshly on the ground outside and the howling wind sometimes sounded like a monster ready to come feast on my bones. But I was already in the clutches of a monster, one far more terrible than the wind.

I replayed the memory of my parents in my mind, seeking comfort in their words, the way their love had shone on me like rays of the sun. They had felt so close, as if I could reach out and touch them, yet we’d been separated by years of time that none of us could cross with all the magic in the world. The image of their faces was one of the few things sustaining me, along with thoughts of those I loved.

I shivered, the shadows cloaking my body offering some defence against the cold, the whispers within them never faltering as they offered me sanctuary in their embrace.

I had to do something. I couldn’t stay here and starve, though even the thought of leaving the mountain came with a rush of fear for everyone I loved. I was the danger, and I could never go near them again if it put them at risk.

I tried to ignore the hunger ripping at my stomach, knowing that starvation alone was going to kill me if I stayed here too long, but maybe it was better to die than put my loved ones in peril again. Though I would never willingly put my sister or my mate through that. I just didn’t know what to do, or how to protect them.

Bile rose in my mouth as the memories of the Shadow Beast sifted through my mind, its hunger for a kill as it hunted down the rebels in the night, the taste of blood in my mouth as their screams were silenced for good.

I clawed my fingers into my shadow-stained hair, burying my face against my knees. But before the suffocating guilt and grief could claim me like it had so many times, a glimmer of silver light in my periphery made me lift my head, a frown pulling at my brow as I watched it dance and flutter across the rocky cave walls.

It was coming from the lake, and all of my thoughts abandoned me as I rose to my feet, my body draped in silver as the flickering reflection of the water shimmered around me.

In the depths of the lake, something was shining, glowing as bright as the moon far, far down at its base.

The air fell unnaturally still, and the cold slipped from my skin as I walked barefoot out of the cave to the water’s edge beneath the waning moon, the shadows wrapping around me in a gown of darkness.

There was a song in the air, or that was the easiest way to describe it. It wasn’t of this world, more like I was hearing it through the veil of an entirely different universe. One I didn’t belong to.

I gazed down into the water, realising it was the fallen star glowing brighter at its heart, and I was certain that the strange, beautiful sound was coming from it, luring me towards it.

The glacial water lapped over my toes, and I blinked, pulling myself out of the trance that was trying to hold onto me. Nothing good could come from following some ethereal music into a dark lake.

I backed up, but the song grew louder inside my head and my gaze locked on the fallen star once more, glimmering and making the entire body of water sparkle. My lips parted in awe at the beauty, and as the power around me intensified, rolling deep into the belly of my bones, I was lost to its call.

I strode into the lake, following the sound, not feeling the icy clutch of the water, although a small part of me was aware I could freeze out here. But that seemed so inconsequential somehow…

I waded deeper, the water lapping up around my waist and the shadows coiling tight around my body like a second skin as I walked further and further.

This was madness in its truest form, but the part of me that should have cared was locked down, like I was no longer afraid of anything, least of all the hallowed power writhing in this lake.

Suddenly, the bottom dropped away beneath my feet, and I gazed down at the fallen star far below me as I treaded water to stay afloat.

“Daughter of the flames,” it whispered to me, summoning me with a force no one in this world could have resisted. It was like the summons that had come from the midst of that star had come from me too, as well as every other divine being in the universe. I was made of the magic it sung, every fibre of my body recognising it from a time inconceivably long ago when my existence had been nothing but a farfetched possibility.

I took a huge breath and dove down, kicking hard as I swam straight for the bottom of the lake, bubbles streaming from my lips as I went, my gaze never faltering from the fallen star.

The lake was even deeper than I’d realised, but there was no turning back now, and no part of me wanted to retreat either. I swam furiously towards the god-like being waiting in the water for me, not knowing what fate it was going to hand me, a curse, or a gift, or perhaps nothing at all. All I knew was that it felt like I was approaching the edge of the world, and at any second, I might drop off of it, my essence scratched from reality like it had never existed at all. And still, I wasn’t afraid.

The star was far larger than it had appeared from the surface, at least ten times my size, its surface glittering like rhinestones, the silver light it emitted bright enough to cut through the gloom all around me. I reached for it, unblinking and totally enraptured by its beauty, the pressure of the water making my ears pop, my lungs beginning to ache for air. But nothing could turn me from this path. Not death, nor the promise of life. This was something far beyond the realm of both those things, and at the same time, it embodied them too.

My fingers grazed its beautiful surface and the water shifted around me in an instant. My feet hit the rocky lakebed as the water withdrew, creating an orb of air which surrounded me and the star. Two entities, one who would be here on this earth for barely a scrap of a moment, and the other timeless beyond all bounds, who had seen the solar system itself formed from matter and magic.

Water dripped from my hair and naked skin, the shadows slithering away inside me like snakes, and I could no longer hear the voices within them. They seemed to go to sleep in my chest beside the Shadow Beast, leaving me bare and alone. But my nakedness didn’t matter. It was as if this star saw only my soul, the rest of me insignificant.

The air pulsed and hummed with an intense magic that made my bones vibrate, and my heart hammered at the immensity of the power I was witnessing.

“It is time for my release,” the star whispered within my head, soft and light like feathers against my temples.

“What do you mean?” I asked, stunned as I took a step closer, my fingers burning to touch its gleaming surface once more. It was the most breath-taking being I’d ever seen, like a living diamond that held a soul. It was an impossible thing to behold, but I couldn’t deny its truth.

The air stirred around me, and it almost sounded like a sigh, the silver light of the star dimming then brightening once more.

“All stars fall. My time has come,” it said, and I swallowed against the lump in my throat.

“I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head in confusion.

The air hummed again, and I felt the kiss of its untold magic sliding over my skin, warming me through to my core. It was like being bathed in molten love, the emotion rising in my chest and ebbing out into every corner of my limbs.

“I remember now…”

“What do you remember?” I whispered.

“You are shadow cursed, a mortal you shall soon be.”

I winced from those words, the pure certainty of them cutting me deep. “Is there a way to stop it?”

“The fates are still being woven, thread by thread.”

“Then stop weaving them,” I demanded, my anger starting to rise as I thought of the battle, of all that had been lost. I remembered myself at last, and my wrath against the stars, of all they had stolen from us. “Aren’t you in control of fate? Don’t you decide all of this? Why are you so cruel?”

The power of the place intensified, trying to keep me calm, but my mind was sharpening now, and I held tightly onto what I knew about these beings. The stars cursed us at every turn, they were the ones who had done this, who had Starcrossed Tory and Darius, who had offered me Orion, only to tear us apart by a twisted curse, who had let so many good people die under their watch in a battle we should have won. This creature, as beautiful and divine as it clearly was, was my enemy. And I wasn’t going to do anything it asked of me.

“Cruelty is a construct of Fae, not us. When we are perched within the sky, we are neither good nor bad. We see all, we offer answers, we guide and gift, but we may take and destroy if the choices made below us invoke it.”

“So what have me and my sister done to deserve the fates you’ve offered us? What paths have we chosen that have made you curse us and the people we love?” I hissed, anger flaring hotly beneath my skin, and for a second, I could have sworn I felt a spark of fire magic within me.

“Fate is unbalanced. The wrath of Clydinius wove your woes.”

“Who is Clydinius?” I pressed, feeling I was on the cusp of some answer that could change everything.

“Clydinius wants you to keep the broken promise, warrior of the Vega line.”

“What is the promise?” I gasped, moving forward in desperation as those words circled in my head. The ones the Imperial Star had spoken too. “I’ll keep it. Just tell me what it is. How can I fix what I have no knowledge of?”

“It is time for my end. My death is the gift of Fae, a gift all stars offer in their demise. It is why magic lives in your world, for my magic is your magic.” The light grew brighter and brighter, blinding me until I had to throw up a hand and shut my eyes against the glow of it. It spread into everything, flowing into the rocks, the water, me. I could feel the soul of this star spreading and shattering, the essence of it pouring out into every corner of the world.

There was so much power, it made the ground tremble beneath me, and the sky far above began to sing. I was witnessing something that was bound with nature, the four Elements seeming to burn in the air around me, everything crackling, sparkling, shining. I was nearly thrown from my feet by the shockwave of it, but the star’s power held me in place, and my head fell back as all that magic tumbled through me like I was nothing but a ghost in its path.

I cried out, the purest form of ecstasy setting my skin alight and making my mind spark with memories. Long, long ago memories of our sun being birthed into existence, of the planets settling into place around it, then of Earth flourishing from a barren wasteland to luscious, fruitful lands; a gift like no other. I saw the mortal realm, Fae realm, and Shadow realm all at once, overlapping as if they were the same, and yet divided by magic and divine intervention. And as the first Fae emerged, the stars were placed around to guard us, their full power residing only in our realm, where the beings who dwelled there were capable of wielding it too. The stars took up their shapes within the constellations, but it seemed like they weren’t the only power here, like there was some other, higher force at play I couldn’t comprehend.

I fathomed it all in an intangible way that wasn’t like any memory I had experienced before, it was happening now, then, always, past, present, future, all of time rushing together as the first fates were spun. I was on the cusp of grasping something, understanding the drive behind these fates and what it was all for, when the power evaporated, and I stumbled to my knees.

It was gone and I was abandoned, panting on the rocky lakebed with a sense of nirvana washing over me, still trembling from the experience. The star’s light began to dim before my eyes, leaving me with a quiet, empty rock with no presence inside it at all. Tears slid silently down my cheeks, and I lifted my hand to touch them, not knowing if they were of joy or sadness, or somewhere in between.

Before I could even begin to process what I’d just witnessed, a voice filled my head, loud and commanding, the authority in it ringing right down to my soul and binding it in steel ropes.

“Come to me.” Lavinia’s summoning resounded through my skull and the shadows seemed to screech inside my ears, pouring back out of me to bind around my skin.

The light of the star faded entirely, and the water rushed in around me before I had a chance to draw in a single breath.

I was plunged into darkness at the base of the lake and panic slammed into my chest as my heart beat to a frantic tune. I started swimming for the surface, kicking and kicking as I carved my way through the inky blackness of the lake, not knowing how far I still had to go or if I was getting anywhere near the air I so desperately craved.

My lungs screamed and my limbs froze, the weight of the water pressing me down like it was trying to drown me in its depths and claim me for its own.

My pulse thundered in my ears as I thought of Tory and Lance and Gabriel, of the people who would never replace me in this watery grave if I didn’t make it out. I’d disappear as if I’d never existed, sink away to the bottom of this black pool to become a pile of lonely bones.

I kicked harder, the determination to replace them all again fuelling my muscles, and suddenly my head broke through the surface and I gasped down a crisp lungful of air.

“Come to me,” Lavinia’s voice beckoned me again and the yanking in my chest told me the Shadow Beast was rising to her call.

“No,” I growled, gritting my teeth as I swam for the water’s edge, trying to fight the pull of her summoning.

But the moment my feet hit the rocks in the shallows, Lavinia’s power fell over me and the shift rippled down my spine.

In moments, I was a towering, furry black beast once more, a roar spilling from my lips as I took off across the mountain and into the trees. I was falling away into the darkness of the creature’s mind, and as hard as I tried to hold on, it was a losing battle.

The Shadow Beast raced down the mountainside, and I was cast into the gulf of its power, drifting away into a cavernous void I feared I’d never awake from.

When I finally regained consciousness, I was looking through the Shadow Beast’s eyes as I climbed the steps that led to the door of The Palace of Souls. The towering walls of my ancestors’ home looked less welcoming under a murky sky, the taint of the Shadow Princess and her wicked king drenching the air.

I pressed my will out against the Shadow Beast’s, fighting to reclaim control from it, a furnace of resilience igniting in me at the sight of this building which should have belonged to me and my sister. I ached to seize it back from the monsters who had taken up residence in its walls. This was Vega territory, and if I ever got the chance to defend it, I’d damn well do so.

I reached the palace doors and shivered as they opened, replaceing Lavinia waiting there for me, her eyes as sharp as two razors and as dark as the trenches of the sea.

She stepped forward, the shadows dancing around her, and I felt them tighten on me as she reached up to brush her fingers over the fur of my shoulder.

“Hello, little Princess,” she said mockingly. “Welcome home. I have a surprise for you.”

She turned her back on me and I was immediately drawn after her, fighting to hold onto my conscious thoughts as the Shadow Beast tried to greedily swallow me down again and take over everything I was. But I wasn’t going to let go, not if I could help it. The fear of what Lavinia would make me do was enough to keep me here for now.

I followed her through the luxurious halls of my family’s palace, replaceing changes in the decoration that made my skin crawl. Paintings of my mother and father had been replaced with countless artworks of Dragons, and the one who featured in them the most was Lionel, his jade green form staring down at me from every angle of these corridors with a smug hubris to his features. Anger burned hot in the centre of my chest and the Shadow Beast fed on it like a meal, its own rage rising to meet mine.

Lavinia led me through to the throne room where shafts of moonlight poured through the stained-glass windows above and severed the darkness. The shadow bitch turned to me, looking me dead in the eye, seeming particularly excited about something. I had the sense I really didn’t want to know what it was.

“Shift,” she commanded, and the shadows rippled through me, forcing me to do as she bid before I could even try and hold them back.

The Shadow Beast fell away, leaving me as a girl standing before a monster, shadow cloaking both of our bodies, my hair a mirror of hers. I was shorter than her, but apart from that, we looked like we were birthed of the same thing now, and I despised it.

I immediately tried to lunge at her, a shriek of hatred tearing from my throat, but she bound me in place with lashes of shadow, her head cocking to one side as she appraised me.

“There is fire in you yet,” she commented. “I wonder how long you can hold onto it for. The Shadow Beast is hungry.” At her words, I felt the evil creature sinking its teeth into some vital piece of my essence, weakening me as it fed on all the parts of me that made me Fae.

“Why did you bring me here?” I asked in a hiss, my disgust with her clear on my face. There was nothing more she could take from me now, she had me captured with my magic in the clutches of her Shadow Beast, so what more was there to claim from me?

“To suffer, of course.” She smiled, beckoning me after her and I held my head high as I followed, my bare feet pressing to the cold flagstones, the shadows the only thing concealing my nudity.

I passed an empty cage of black night iron and frowned at it before following her to the back exit from the throne room and down a corridor to a wide metal door. She unlocked it, guiding me inside and my world fell apart before my eyes, every ounce of oxygen in my lungs crushed from existence and leaving me desolate.

“Lance!” I ran to him, my scream rending the air apart.

He was on his knees, chained at the heart of the room while his hands were secured above his head by manacles.

Blood raced down his flesh, dripping to the floor around him from lacerations across his body.

I dropped down before him and gripped his face in my hands, desperate to see life in his eyes, the thought of losing him too awful to consider. I couldn’t go on without him. He was the epitome of the most reckless, soul-bursting love I had ever known. We were star bound, but more than that, we had fought for each other through laws and battlelines, blood and tears. We were meant to remain together, there was no alternative. I was done losing him and done with all the monsters who kept lurking at our door. Lance Orion was mine, on this plane and every other, and he was not going to be stolen from me now.

Terror made my heart thrash, but as he released a low groan and his eyes flickered open a crack, I buckled forward in relief, an agonised sob heaving from my chest. Though replaceing him like this, tortured and made to suffer by our enemies was almost as devastating as replaceing him dead.

“Blue?” he murmured, only half conscious, his blood still running down into a circuit of drains around the chamber.

“I’m here, I’ve got you.” I trembled as I pressed my hands to his shoulders and Lavinia drifted closer at my back, watching me intently with a sickly smile on her face.

I tried to bring magic to my fingertips, determined to heal him, but the well of power in my chest had nothing to give.

“Please, please,” I begged of the stars.

Orion’s eyes fell closed, his head lolling, and my heart thrashed all over again. He was on the brink of death, and I could almost feel the Veil parting for him, the stars about to pull him away from me forever.

“No!” I cried, cursing myself as I failed him in his most urgent moment of need, no magic coming to my aid, the shadows thickening until I could barely breathe.

Lavinia was pouring all of her power into me to keep me subdued, leaving me useless, able to do nothing but witness Orion’s death.

“He’s only got a few more moments of life in him,” Lavinia said in a mocking voice.

“Hang on,” I begged, tugging furiously on that well of power in me again as I refused to submit to the curse, and for a second, I could have sworn there was a flicker of magic, blazing some of the shadows aside and promising Orion life.

Lavinia shoved me forcefully before I could attempt to heal him, releasing him from the chains so he slumped down at her feet, though magic blocking cuffs still remained locked around his wrists.

“Get away from him!” I commanded, lurching forward but a web of shadows snatched me back by the waist, yanking me tight to the wall to keep me from going to him.

I thrashed and struggled to get free, fear burrowing into my core as Lavinia produced a key and slid it into the manacle on his right wrist. Then she slapped him hard enough to make his head wheel sideways and he groaned as he came back to consciousness.

“Lance, I’m here. Stay with me,” I called, my heart frenzied with fear, but it was like he couldn’t even hear me.

She gripped his hand, pressing it firmly to his chest.

“Heal yourself,” she said idly, and my lips parted in confusion as she allowed him to do that, green light flooding from his palm and knitting over the wounds on his body.

I fought to get to him, panic slashing across my heart as the shadows dragged me back and the Shadow Beast dug its claws in beneath my skin.

When Orion was almost healed, I yelled to him, “Fight her!”, praying he was strong enough to turn his magic against her.

His attention focused on me, and terror fell over his features like he was only just realising I was truly there. But his eyes were heavily lidded, and that terror melted away again before it could take a real grip.

“Darcy…” he murmured.

He’d managed to heal most of his injuries, but there were still marks and bruises on his flesh left from her torture, like she wanted to leave him branded.

“I’m here,” I said. “What’s she done to you?”

“Arm up, pet,” Lavinia ordered, and he offered his wrist to her as simply as that.

She snapped the magic-blocking cuff back in place, making me stiffen in horror.

I couldn’t understand why he was complying with her, letting himself be shackled once more. It didn’t make any sense.

“Lance? What’s going on?” I begged, but he wouldn’t look at me.

“Please,” he spoke to Lavinia quietly like I wasn’t even in the room, his voice a distant thing that sounded as though it had been dragged up from the depths of his chest. “Send her away from here.”

His words shredded my heart, and I shook my head in refusal of them, even though neither of them were paying any attention to me now. He wasn’t himself. Something wasn’t right. He was barely even reacting to me being here.

“That would entirely defeat the purpose of our little deal, pet.” Lavinia ran her hand over his hair and disgust snaked down my spine.

“Get your hands off of him,” I snarled, and she turned to look at me as a ferocious, protective fury flooded over me in blistering waves.

“What have you done?” I breathed at Orion, my voice lost to fear, but his eyes remained on the floor like he couldn’t bear to look my way, or maybe that he didn’t even care to.

“He has done what he needs to save his Vega princess,” Lavinia said, her voice lilting with amusement.

“Lance?” I refused to take my eyes off of him, ignoring the horrid woman in the room who had us bound in her dark power like the puppet master of our destiny. I needed to hear this from the man I loved, not the bitch who had cursed me.

“Tell her, pet,” Lavinia encouraged, brushing her fingers through his hair possessively.

I jerked forward with a growl of warning, my teeth bared, but it only seemed to make her smile grow.

“Get your filthy paws away from him,” I spat venomously.

“Hush now, let him answer,” Lavinia said with a smirk.

Orion released a sigh that seemed so full of defeat it carved a hole in my chest. There was some twisted magic at play here, something Lavinia had done to subdue him, there had to be.

“She bound my blood to your curse. I’m the answer to breaking it,” he revealed.

My throat tightened and I looked from him to Lavinia, my breaths coming heavier, my mind splintering and soul cracking. “What does that mean?”

“It means he is mine,” she said, watching me closely and drinking in the moment my heart shattered within the cage of my chest.

“For three moon cycles,” Orion added hollowly like that made it any better. Maybe it did, but I couldn’t focus on anything but the ringing in my ears and the potent rage building inside me.

“You can’t do this,” I refused, turning to Lavinia. “I’ll pay the price. This is my curse, not his. If you want my blood, my suffering, then have it.” I offered her my wrists, ready to be chained in his place as I jutted my chin up, but she didn’t seem remotely interested in that offer.

“It must be him,” she said, her eyes alight with this wicked game of hers. “Besides, we made a Death bond on it, didn’t we, pet?”

“No,” I gasped.

Orion gave me a look that broke through the darkness in his eyes, filled with an apology that could never undo this, because it confirmed everything she had said, and broke my heart in turn.

“I’ll leave you to fill in the details,” Lavinia said, leaning down and gripping Orion’s throat where a collar of shadow sat against his skin.

Everything stilled, ice sliding the full length of my spine as she pressed her mouth to his. I expected him to flinch away, to fight back against her abhorrent touch, but as she deepened that kiss and slid her tongue between his lips, I watched in a state of torturous shock as he let her, the only sign of his distress a crease on his brow and his hands balling into tight fists. Something twisted sharply in the centre of my stomach and malice took over everything I was down to the roots of my being, stealing away what little was left of my sanity.

“Stop!” I yelled, fighting wildly, blood pounding furiously through my veins.

My soul was wounded by seeing my mate do that with another woman, and not just any woman, her. This creature born of darkness who held our fates so tightly in her grip.

“I’ll kill you, I’ll fucking kill you!” I swore on every entity who cared to listen, marking this monster’s death as mine.

Lavinia released him, her nails having torn crescent-shaped gouges into his neck, and I could do nothing but struggle against my shadow restraints as she turned to me with a savage smile lighting her features. Then she leaned down and whispered something in Orion’s ear that made his face pale before she stood upright and swept past me out the door, throwing me a vicious look of satisfaction as she went.

Disgust made my throat thick, and I couldn’t stop shaking as I stared at Orion, his gaze now on the bloody floor beneath him like he couldn’t bear to look at me again.

The silence deepened and tears seared the backs of my eyes from witnessing the man I loved more than life itself being forced into subservience. I was so, so angry that he had allowed this, but I was broken by seeing him like that too, and I simply didn’t know how to fix any of it.

“How could you agree to this? How could you enter into a Death bond with her?” I asked, replaceing my voice at last, the cracks in it giving away my rage.

He finally looked at me, and all I saw was a man forced right up to the edge of his breaking point, suspended there on the fringe of oblivion. Darkness clung to him in a way I could see in his eyes, and even as those silver rings glittered at me from his irises, they seemed dimmer somehow.

A primal feeling took root in me, and I was sure of just one thing in that moment; I had to replace a way to save him.

“It was the only way to break the curse,” he said. “I had to offer myself to her in flesh, bone, or blood. Knowing I would free you within three months and that I would be free too…it seemed like the answer we needed, even if it isn’t the one we wanted.”

After everything that had happened at the battle, I’d thought things couldn’t get much worse. But how wrong I’d been. I should have known that everything could get so much fucking worse. It always did.

“What are the terms of this deal?” I hissed, yanking against my shadow restraints again in an effort to get to him, but they wouldn’t release me.

“I must willingly give her my body in any way she wants it.”

A chill swept through me that made me fall still, my blood freezing over in my veins.

“Lance, please tell me you haven’t- that she hasn’t-” I couldn’t even finish that sentence, the way she’d kissed him making me think of how much worse this could have already been. Had she raped him? Taken his body under the terms of this fucking deal?

“No,” he said firmly, a vow of truth in his eyes. “She hasn’t done anything but torture me. Until that kiss.” He shuddered, his muscles bunching in resistance to the mere memory of it, and I was glad to see he wasn’t entirely under her control. He seemed to be coming back to me a little more, strength returning to his posture.

“What else has she done?” I pushed. “I can see this is more than torture. You’re looking at me like you don’t really see me.” My voice broke on those last words and his gaze sharpened a little more, his wrists tugging against his shackles like he wanted to get to me, but there was something holding him at bay which went beyond chains.

“It’s the dark magic in the weapons she uses against me,” he said thickly. “It makes it hard to…feel. It will wear off. I just need to rest.”

I nodded, seeing his exhaustion, and how profoundly he had been affected by Lavinia’s torture. It was intolerable.

“What did she whisper to you before she left?” I asked through shaking lips, though I wasn’t sure if it was fear or anger that was making me tremble most.

“Blue,” he begged.

“Tell me,” I demanded, my body thawing as a fiery rage was stoked in me instead.

“She said…” His throat bobbed and his eyes moved to the wall beyond me, resignation falling over him. “That perhaps there are deeper ways to make you suffer than making me bleed.”

A blinding wrath took hold of me, making the Shadow Beast roar inside my chest. This was too much. I could have weathered my curse, but Lavinia had made sure to link it to the man I loved, knowing that hurting him hurt me more than anything she could do to me.

A scream of anger left me, and I yanked more fiercely on my restraints, murder calling my name. I would rip her head from her shoulders, I’d spill every drop of her blood and wipe her from existence.

The shift came upon me in a wave and my skin split apart, giving way to the feral beast who embodied my curse. My roar joined with the monster’s and for once, I relished its fury, because I had it in my control right now and I could wield it however I wanted.

I hounded forward, ready to tear Orion free of his chains, but he shook his head at me as he realised my intention.

“I can’t run from her,” Orion said in earnest. “I have to uphold the deal, or I’ll die.”

I howled at that reality, turning and throwing my full weight at the metal door, the thing flying open upon impact.

“Darcy!” Orion cried.

In the next heartbeat, I was racing through the throne room on a quest for blood. Lavinia’s, Lionel’s. Everyone who had wronged us would die the moment I was upon them.

I charged through the halls in search of my prey, the Shadow Beast tugging at my mind as it tried to regain control, but I wasn’t letting go this time. I’d wield this animal against the creature who had cursed me with it and wipe her from the face of the earth in payment for her touching my mate.

I turned into a corridor where silver chandeliers sparkled above and arching windows towered up to my left, the moonlight pooling across the floor like a river of liquid silver.

Lavinia shot into view at the far end of the passage, startled as she found me there.

“Stop,” she hissed, the command ringing through me, but I managed to resist it as I thought of Orion bleeding for her, of this witch’s mouth on his, and I charged forward in a bid for death.

She raised her hands and ropes of shadow shot towards me, trying to bind my limbs, but I tore through every strand of dark power she cast. She had captured my mate, bound him to her will, and I would not stand idly by to see her torture him. She had no claim on him, he was mine. And I would place myself between him and the stars if I had to. I was going to twist fate myself and shape it into something good that could never be taken from us.

My bellow tore through the air as Lavinia backed up a step, working harder to bind my limbs in shadow, but I saw the moment of doubt in her. The fear that she couldn’t stop me, and it fed my vengeful hunger.

When I was close enough, I leapt at her, huge paws outstretched and claws as sharp as sun steel promising to tear her to pieces. I had burned her in Phoenix Fire at the battle, and she had risen like the undead before my eyes. But this time, I would leave nothing of her. I’d destroy her with the very thing she was made of. Shadow and death.

“Stop!” she commanded in my mind, but I fought off the desire to obey once more.

She screamed as she hit the ground beneath me and I ripped into her shoulder with my teeth, aiming for her head but missing as she wheeled aside, her body contorting unnaturally. My claws raked down the centre of her chest, spilling blackish blood and making her wails pitch higher. I caught her neck between my jaws and bit down, ready to end this, to tear her head clean from her body and destroy the rest of her too. But her hands grasped at my throat, and she yanked sideways with unimaginable power, making pain spike through me.

“You are mine! Do as your queen commands you!” Her voice exploded inside my skull and this time, the magic she used found its way to my soul.

The Shadow Beast gained an inch of control over me, and my jaw loosened around Lavinia’s throat. I fought as hard as I could to keep her down, but Lavinia’s will pressed into me, and it was like drowning in a murky sea. I couldn’t replace a way out, every direction dark and everlasting.

“Shift,” she hissed, and the Shadow Beast slid away into my skin, leaving me on top of her with my muscles tense and my body unable to move.

Her wounds healed over before my eyes, her brow creasing in concentration as she held me under her power.

“Keep your hands off of my mate,” I warned, my palms pressed to the floor either side of her as I fought to move.

The shadows were crawling through my skin, trapping me, and there was nothing I could do when she pulled on them like puppet strings, making me roll off of her onto my back. She rose to her feet, the shadows gathering around her feet and climbing up her body to caress her, healing her wounds as she sneered down at me.

“Feed,” she growled, and the Shadow Beast started feasting on the very core of me.

I screamed, the pain like knives carving along the inside of my bones as the Shadow Beast fed on whatever magic remained in me, the crux of what made me Fae.

I writhed against the stone-cold floor, power fading from my limbs, and that strength I’d just felt disappearing along with it. The Shadow Beast gorged itself until it felt like there was nothing left of me to take, a horrible emptiness sinking into my chest that not even the shadows wanted to touch.

The pain subsided until I was abandoned by everything, curled on the floor, my ear pressed to the flagstones and my eyes squeezed shut.

Make it stop. Please take this reality away.

Long fingers wrapped in my hair and Lavinia started dragging me along by it with inhuman strength, my body limp and lifeless.

My fingers skimmed along the floor, and I swear I heard the palace groaning around me, the walls seeming to quiver in anguish of the fallen Vega within them. But maybe that was just the wild imaginings of a half dead girl who was barely even Fae anymore.

I was vaguely aware of Orion shouting my name from somewhere nearby and I cracked my eyes, replaceing two Nymphs corralling him into the night iron cage in the throne room.

Lavinia tossed me in with him, my back smacking against the far wall before I hit the floor like a rag doll. The clang of the cage door shutting filled my ears the same moment Orion pulled me into his arms, turning me over and seeking out life in me. His eyes were frantic, like he’d suddenly woken up from the dark magic she’d tainted him with, and his hand cupped my face in panicked movements.

I squinted up at him under heavy lashes, trying to speak, but the weight of the shadows wouldn’t let me.

“What have you done to her?!” Orion barked at Lavinia.

“It is the curse, pet,” Lavinia spat, her rage still sharp. “And you had better keep her well behaved because the curse will move along far quicker if I have to encourage the beast to feed more often. She will be mortal in a few weeks if this is how she behaves. Three moon cycles is an awfully long time for such an advanced curse, Lance Orion. Are you sure she will survive it?”

“You fucking bitch,” he snarled, his fangs on show.

Lavinia’s voice drew closer, though I couldn’t see her from the angle I was lying at. “You look hungry, Vampire. Was the servant’s blood I gave you today not enough? Will you drink the blood of your mate and take what little magic remains in her? Perhaps the Shadow Beast is not the only monster she should fear tonight.”

She took hold of his arm and shadows slid from her body, creeping over his skin, and lapping at the bruises and cuts still marking his bare chest. He groaned, trying to pull away but his head fell forward in the next moment, a harsh breath leaving him and washing over me.

“That’s it. Let the shadows in. They only want to play,” Lavinia purred, then the slap of her bare feet drifted away alongside the heavy footfalls of the Nymphs as they followed her.

Orion tightened his hold on me, but didn’t look down again, his hair in his eyes as he breathed slower, trying to regain control. His fangs were out and a tightness to his expression told me he was working hard against the urge to feed too.

“I won’t bite you. I wouldn’t,” he swore, his voice flatter than before, like the shadows were taking hold again.

An ounce of strength returned to me, enough for me to lift my hand and graze my fingers over the stubble on his jaw which was beginning to thicken to a beard.

“Look at me.”

He hesitated a beat longer before doing as I asked, and my muscles relaxed as those familiar dark eyes met mine.

“I’m sorry I failed,” I whispered.

He caught my hand, drawing it gently to his mouth and kissing my palm, his gaze flickering with hunger. “I love you for trying. But please understand that this promise I’ve made must be fulfilled. If I break it, I will die.”

“And what about her? What if she breaks it?” I asked, trying to sit up but he growled a little, tightening his grip on me, and it was so good to be in his arms again that I just let him hold me.

“Then she will die,” he said, a frown on his brow.

“So maybe we can replace a way to make her break it,” I said hopefully and a little more light entered his eyes, that veil of dark power drawing back again.

“Yeah, maybe, Blue,” he said. But that small light extinguished again as he stared at me, and I sensed a weight on him that was heavier than the sun and moon combined.

“What happened at the battle? Did you see who got out?” I asked, terror thickening my throat.

He shook his head marginally and pain swept through his features, his jaw ticking as he refused to meet my gaze again.

“I only know of two fates,” he said quietly. “Gabriel is here. Lionel captured him.”

“Oh god,” I exhaled, fear for my brother welling fast. Even the mere fact of his capture told me a lot about how badly the battle must have gone – for the greatest Seer of our generation to have been caught in a trap of fate like that, there must have been pure carnage taking place around him, clouding the sight of his own destiny.

“He’s still alive at least,” he said, and I took comfort in that small fact, though it still broke me to think of what he was probably going through as Lionel’s prisoner.

“And the other fate?” I asked, but Orion didn’t look at me, pain splintering through his eyes. “Lance?” I whispered, sensing he was about to tell me something awful, something that would shatter my heart into even more pieces, but I needed to know all the same.

He hesitated for several more heartbeats, like voicing his next words would cause him immeasurable pain.

“Darius didn’t make it.”

“No,” I gasped, sitting bolt upright, refusing that fact with every fibre of my being. Because Darius Acrux was one of the strongest people I knew, he was a warrior, a creature as powerful as a deity. And more than that, he was my friend, and my sister’s star-bound mate, her husband. “No, no, please. It can’t be true.”

“I saw his body,” he said, his voice breaking as agony spilled into his eyes. “Lionel killed him. He’s gone.”

Those words undid me, and I came apart in his arms, the two of us clinging to each other as if nothing else existed but our grief. It sat between us like a freezing lump of ice, and the only warmth came from the places our bodies touched.

I couldn’t contain the hurt I felt over losing the man I’d come to love as deeply as a brother, and it was only stoked by the pain I knew my twin was feeling out there somewhere. I should have been with her through this. I couldn’t stand the thought of her facing this alone.

I yearned to be with Tory more strongly than I ever had in my life, and the torment that caused me was unimaginable. She might as well have been an entire universe away for how impossible it was to reach her now. She was no doubt suffering under the weight of a grief so fierce, it must have felt like the sky was falling down on her.

The guilt I already felt over everything I’d done multiplied tenfold. I’d turned the tide of the battle, the Shadow Beast in me had made sure the rebels had lost.

Was it my fault Darius lay dead? Would he still be here if only I’d been strong enough to fight off the grip of the curse?

I doubled forward, consumed by it all and crumbling completely.

I’m so sorry, Tor.