Alpha Zander
Chapter 47

My head is still spinning as I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling, thinking about everything that has happened last night and over the last few weeks going over and over in my mind. I haven’t slept a wink.

Everything is just replaying in my mind. It’s hard to switch it off. A part of me understands why he did what he did, but the other side of me that shares the bond with him hurts so much.

It feels like our bond is a little bit broken because of it. At least before, it could have been mended, but now, even if he tried, I’m not so sure.

He was so quick to jump and help Grace, so quick to jump and help her, yet forgot me in the process of everything, even after we mated, even after he promised I was everything to him. He didn’t show that to me last week.

What’s not to say that will happen again? He admitted he did wrong but did he only realize it because he lost Grace in the process? Was I just a backup option to him?

I hope I made it clear to him last night that I wouldn’t be on the sidelines and wouldn’t be the one pushed aside because of all of this.

If we mark and mate later, I won’t ever be able to leave him. Our wolves will die, and we, along with them, if I did want to leave him. I shouldn’t ever have been second, no matter the reason. We had overcome so much. I was ready to tell people he was mine and prepared to accept him fully. And he hurt us.

Kia quieted down a bit once we left the venue. A few others went separate ways and had after-the party, but I just needed some alone time. Everything was spinning in my mind. I just wanted peace and quiet. Chloe begged me to go along with them for a little bit, but even after my chat with Zander, It was still hard to see him around people and be around everyone. I just wanted to keep my distance for the rest of the evening. I knew he wanted to come to me once or twice, and he nearly did, but something stopped him. Whether it was his wolf or his own jumbled mind, he at least respected my space for , now, and just let me have the evening with the girls.

A ringing sound blasts around me, making me sit in my bed and frantically look around. Oh no, is it already 6 am? l sigh as I reach over and slap the alarm off, making the screeching sound come to an automatic halt.

Thankfully it’s Saturday, but I still have so much work to catch up on, and I usually help around the pack with training and other things if Dad and Uncle need me to.

‘Mum, I’m going for a run if that’s ok?’ I quickly link her while l jump out of bed and start to get changed.

There’s nothing better than to start the morning with a nice cool winter air run. After being around Zander for an extended period of time last night, I could feel Kia’s strength back to normal.

‘Sure, huni, just be careful because it’s still dark out, don’t go too far west, stay in the city line, and don’t go too far out to the countryside, please. There are a few issues your father and uncle haven’t sorted out yet.’

Mum linked back.

‘Oh, is it anything I can help with, anything major? 1 asked curiously, wondering why no one had mentioned anything about this before.

‘Not at this point. They are presenting some information to the council today. Hopefully, things will be resolved, but if not, we will bring you, kids, into the fold.’

Sighing, I say ‘ok’ to mum and end the link.

I get into my leggings, a loose top, and my old runners, so if Kia wants to transform into her wolf, I won’t waste any good clothing or shoes. I always try to go for a run around the pack grounds a few times a week, either doing border patrol or just for my own pleasure. It helps keep the fitness up and helps with the stress and frustrations of the day.

I run and run for ages. I can sense the patrol team is around.l assume they can also sense me, so it helps me feel safer after what mum said. I guess that’s why dad and uncle couldn’t go to the meetings earlier this week and most likely why they have been a bit busy lately.

‘I want to run, please. ‘ Kia begged. She has been pacing in my mind to be let out for a while now. l just needed some time to think.

“You mean overthink everything.’ she mumbles back.

Fine, but remember what mum said, stay in the areas that are safe for now.’l sigh before starting to strip down to my underwear and hanging my clothes on a nearby tree. This is precisely why I wear old clothes or cheaper ones because if l can’t replace them later on I’m sure someone else will have some use for them.

‘I have a place in mind,’ l can feel her excitement pulsing through. What the hell does she have planned?

I try to access her side of my mind, but she has put her block up.

‘Nuh uhh, it’s going to be a surprise,’ she says excitedly as I shift into her beautiful fur. I love being in my wolf form.

These last few days have been hard on us, so it’s nice to feel connected again with her. To feel free.

The Snapping and rearranging ends quickly. The more you do it over time, the less painful it becomes, and the easier it is to shift. Some can turn so quickly that you would miss it if you blink.

Usually, that would mean you have a higher rank like Alpha or Beta. I can shift quickly, but nothing like Ollie or Uncle or even Dad, who are really quick. I always loved seeing their wolf form when I was younger.

I sit back and let Kia explore and run around our land, the sun slowly starts to rise, and l can feel some of her excitement as she moves off the land into Neutral ground.

‘Kia,’ I warned, fighting to get back control.

‘Come on, I promise it isn’t anything bad,’ she sighs, putting up a fight to keep control over where we are going. When in her form, she has more control than me, and when in my form, I have more control than her, usually, we are 50/50 split, and we agree on a lot, and sometimes I let her have control in my form, and she lets me control in her form, but today for some reason, she isn’t having it.

“Where are you going?’ I ask as we run by houses and busy streets starting to pick up with the start of the day. We go by some excited children and early risers.

Some of the older generations still haven’t gotten used to the idea of shifters being in their world, so they are still hesitant, but the little ones are always curious and excited.

As I see through her eyes, I recognize some of the streets and buildings, ‘Please don’t tell me you are going there. You know I am struggling with Zander right now; I ,begged.

‘But I want to see my mate, and he is here. I can feel him. You can punish Zander all you want, but please don’t punish Jace and me for something he couldn’t control’ she pleaded her case to me as she slowly pushed open the garden gate with her nose that led into the cottage I had grown to adore these last few weeks.

It’s been my sanctuary. We have built memories there together even though it had only been a few, I didn’t want to ruin those memories by creating bad ones, but at the same time, she is right. She needs to be around Jace.

They have already accepted each other. l can’t be the one holding them back for something Zander did.

‘Fine, but only if you see him in your form, I’m not shifting back, and I’m not talking to him,’ l grumble as I relinquish any control I had, not being happy at all, this is where she brought me.

Deal!’ Kia barks out happily, wagging her tail, waiting for Zander to come to her since I refuse to shift back.

I can feel him moving closer toward us as he reaches the back door, I don’t know if he stayed the night or got here this morning, but he looks like crap as he opens the door. His hair is all a mess as he scrubs a hand over his face trying to soften the sharp light of the morning sun. He looks like he’s had the worst night’s sleep with a few dark rings under his eyes. He has a plain black shirt and checkered boxers, shoulders slumped, and looks exhausted.

‘Maybe this was a bad idea,’ I mumbled to her.

Seeing him in this state makes me second guess her decision, making me nervous to be around him.

‘It’s fine. He didn’t sleep much last night,’ She tries to reassure me.

“Kia?” He asks cautiously, taking a step towards us.

She lets out another bark, happily wagging her tail and moving toward him. It didn’t take much before he was in front of us. Zander bent down so he was level with Kia and stretched his hand to pet her. He hesitated a little bit before slowly sinking onto her fur. Sparks erupted in the area where he pets her, leaving a trail of tingles, making me want to push forward and be with him, but I know this is what she needs. She needs to be with Jace.

“You want Jace to go for a run, too?” he asks as he finishes rubbing her.

She nods and gives him a lick of encouragement, making the side of his face wet with her saliva.

“Ashleigh?” he questions, looking a bit defeated. Kia tilts her head to the side a little bit in a playful manner. I guess trying not to tell him how I feel about being here.

He heaves out a sigh of exhaustion and strips off his shirt as Kia moves back to give him some space to shift into Jace.

I try not to let everything around me make me giddy but his scent surrounding everything and our bond feeling so alive in our animal form make it hard to remember why I was angry at him. It makes it hard to remember why I hurt so much.

‘Because Jace and l have accepted each other; whispered, answering my thoughts.

“Why should that matter?” I asked.

‘Being in my form, and both of us have accepted each other and mated, helps build the bond stronger. I hoped this would help you see what we could have and help build on what we already have’ She tries to explain these new feelings and overwhelmingness I have.

l just.. he needs to earn our forgiveness Kia,’ I sigh as she and Jace run around playing together. I can see how happy and free she is with him.

‘I know he does, and I’m not saying discard that. I’m just trying to help clear your mind and show you what we can have.’

‘Meaning you want me to give him a chance to prove himself?

‘Yes, I think the moon goddess doesn’t make mistakes. We do, though, and I believe he regrets how he handled things. I just ask that before you reject him, which will hurt all of us, by the way please let him earn your love and forgiveness.

I sigh and sit deeper in the back of our mind as she runs around more, playing with Jace. As much as I understand why she wanted to come here, it was still hard for me to accept everything. I have always been the person who accepts everything, Including mistakes, but this choice he made hurt so much, and he needs to earn.