CHASE
44

I stared down at the sleeping form of Sofia, taking in every little detail of her. Her long brown silk locks were scattered across the pillow beneath her head, her small body trapped under the covers as she rested deep into the depths of the unknown that we call 'sleep.'

The wind blew gently through the window that was partly open causing her to move a little, pulling the cover further up her body. I went over silently and shut the window, not wanting her to be cold. It had been easy for me to break in, I waited till I was sure everyone would be asleep and then I put my plan to work. I didn't want to hurt her, I just wanted to see her.

I looked back down at her, my fingers ached to stroke her face, to touch her skin but the urges turned into a painful flashing images of her face soaking with merciless tears that escaped her eyes, all the while her fingers dug into my shirt, holding me for support as he pounded into her.

I clenched my teeth so hard, convinced that they'd shatter in my mouth at any minute. My hands balled into tight fists, my knuckles burning with the urge to feed the wall. I took a few steps back, afraid that I might've hurt her if I didn't back up. I wanted to shove her in the shower and keep her there for an entire year until she was cleansed from Luke's filthy touch. My chest ached as I tried to force the memories away, I couldn't watch them any longer, I could handle anything but watching her being stolen from me.

A slight groan escaped my throat as I relived the memories with every trace my eyes made across her delicate little form. I knew the voices would be joining the torture soon as I fought back the need to let my rage out onto something, anything.. but then her soft little whimper came out and my world stopped spinning as I focused on the heavy panting of her breath and the movements she made while she tossed and turned.

The attack on my brain stopped and I saw nothing but her. I felt nothing but her, as my fingertips laced down her cheek before I even knew what I was doing. Her presence destroyed me and calmed me down, both in one.

Another whimper and I was aching yet again, I knew she was having a nightmare, a nightmare which most likely consisted of me... and Luke. I wanted to take away her pain, to replace it with affection but I didn't quite know how. I didn't know if I was suppose to wake her up and cuddle her until she relaxed, but then the fact that she wouldn't be expecting me and she quite frankly hated me, I'd expect her to do anything but relax in my arms.

I was stood stuck in my place, trying to think of ways that I could show her affection, if I even knew what affection was. I much preferred to wrap my fingers around her throat and make her tremble with my words as a way of showing my affection towards her but I knew that, that option was out of the picture if I ever wanted her to trust me.

I'd been staring at her for a long while before her eyelids popped up and her fear poked into my chest. She was afraid of me. I didn't blame her and a part of me still enjoyed her fear towards me but a part of me knew that, that shouldn't be the case. I shouldn't be enjoying that. And at that very moment, I wanted her to trust me, to feel safe with me, although I'd gave her every reason not to.

A loud shrilling scream left the small confined space in her narrow throat and filled the silence of the night, I didn't think twice before I got on top of her and wrapped a hand tight around her mouth, my heart beating rapidly in my chest as I tried to get my plan together.

'Shh, I'm not here to hurt you.' I studied her eyes as they grew softer and she stopped squirming from beneath me. She looked more shocked than afraid now, almost as if she didn't believe that I was right there.

'Can I trust you not to scream?' She closed her eyes then nodded in response.

'I'm going to let go of your mouth now ok?' She nodded once more before I slowly removed my hands away from her mouth, allowing her to breathe properly. I was ready to shut her up if needed be but instead of screaming, she blinked several times, looking at every inch of my face in pure shock.

I jumped off her and backed up at the sound of footsteps approaching her room in a rush. Her scream must've caught some attention, I went and stood behind the door, holding her gaze as I mentally asked her not to give me up. Not to tell whoever that was about to walk in which I assumed would be her parents, to not tell them about me being here. Her eyes left mine once the door swung open, almost smacking right into me.

'Bella! What happened! Are you ok?!' Her dads voice boomed into the room, panic evident in his quick questions.

'No, wait! Don't walk in.' She held out her hand and his footsteps came to a halt as he stood in the doorway.

'Why? Are you ok?! I heard you scream?'

Her eyes flickered back to mine for a second too long then back to her dad. She hesitated for a minute before she said 'I'm ok, just a bad dream. You can go.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes dad, please, I'd like to be alone.'

'I'm here if you need anything. Sleep tight princess.' And with that he closed the door and his footsteps faded into the distance.

I felt a pang of relief that she hadn't sold me out. If I believed in luck, I would have considered myself lucky, but I didn't believe in luck.

Walking back over to her, I thanked her with my eyes, not being able to form the words to verbally be thankful. I'd never been thankful to anyone, no one had gave me a reason to have gratitude over them. But as I stood there in the dim light of her room, while she stared at me, and I stared at her, I felt the need to thank her, even if it was telepathically.

She didn't say a word or move a muscle, mirroring my own image as I stood there gazing at her. The covers had fell further down her torso and my eyes fell onto the ink that was placed on her collarbone, where the C I had marked her with should've been.

I clenched my hands into fists again and headed straight back on top of her, angry at the sight before me but I knew why she'd done it and a part of me wanted to accept that, although I was replaceing it difficult to do so. She stared at me, still in shock as I traced my fingers over the hummingbird that failed to hide the C if you looked closely but from a distant, it looked like a normal tattoo and I guess that's what she wanted.

All of the tension inside my raging thoughts evaporated as I felt her delicate fingers touch over my face, her eyes focused on mine as she felt my fevered skin.

'Are you real?' I think for a moment, she had thought had lost her mind.

'Or am I hallucinating?' She closed her eyes shut then opened them again, and when she did, I was inches away from her face, running my fingers through her hair.

'Yeah, I'm real.' I wanted to kiss her, to tell her that I was sorry but I couldn't replace it in me to lie to her, I wasn't sorry. A part of me felt like that maybe the nagging feeling in my gut meant that I felt guilty and that I wanted to apologise but the part of me that made me, me, knew that I wasn't capable of feeling guilt, I wasn't capable of being apologetic. Hell, I didn't even know what being sorry felt like.

'I thought.. I thought you died. I mean, I watched you die in my arms.' She looked hurt as the memory haunted her, I didn't like seeing her hurt even though I'd made her feel this very way, plenty of times.

'You, you saved my l..' I cut her off by placing my index finger on her lips. I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to tell her what I'd came to tell her before anything else interrupted us.

I swallowed down, my mouth had went dry and my head throbbed as I thought about what I was going to say. I didn't even know if I was capable of saying it out loud.

Fuck it.

'I love you.' Once the words left my lips, I instantly wanted to suck them back in. I wasn't afraid of being rejected, no. I was afraid that I could've been wrong. I didn't know if what I felt was love. Or if a man like me could even feel such feelings but when I looked back at her innocent face that seemed shocked by my confession, and when I felt my heart throbbing with the need to take her and keep her forever. And the urge to hold her and never let go, I knew that maybe, just maybe, I was capable of such feelings.

'I, uh, I need you to leave.' She suddenly pulled away, trying to move away from beneath me. Although I was expecting this reaction, her response had felt like daggers to my pounding heart.

'Please.' She closed her eyes, fighting back the panic that was about to reappear and swallow her whole.

'Sofia.' I pressed my teeth together, my jaw tightening with the need to hold her down and yell that I love her so it could get through to her head but she stopped any further response from me as her words cut deep into my skin.

'No! I'm Bella now! Sofia is the girl you used and abused for three months, Sofia is the girl you shattered into pieces, Sofia is the girl you marked with your blade.'

'I'm not that girl anymore. I'm no longer bound by you.' She pointed to the ink on her skin as her tears clawed out of her eyes and scraped down her cheeks.

'No matter how much you say you love me, you've never done anything to show me.'

'Except, risking your life, for mine. Which by the way, I'm so grateful for and I spent most of my nights feeling guilty that you could've been dead somewhere out there because of me. But you're alive and as much as I want to repay you for saving me, I can't replace it in me to do that, because..' she took a deep breath, her eyes clouded with the waterfall that I so wanted to stop.

'..because, you killed me more than you saved my life.' And once the words were out of her mouth, I was off her, my heart no longer throbbing, for it had become numb. I took slow steady steps backwards, my eyes never leaving hers. I had to go. If I didn't, I didn't know what I'd do to her to make her stop the pain I was feeling in my bones.

She watched me with tears steaming down her face.

I watched her with blood dripping from my heart.

And with that, I was gone.