Dead Luna
Chapter 11

Leo's

POV

I need to replace peace in my heart before I do something stupid or permanent, I think to myself as I sit on the ground and stare blankly at the lake before me. Tears fall unchecked from my eyes. I doubt I've ever cried so many tears in my entire life. I don't recall crying much even when my dad died, but I was quite young at the time, and didn't understand. And my mother DeeDee spoiled me rotten ever since that day. She had so much love in her heart, and there was only me to give it to.

My life is so f****d up right now, and I don't see how I can possibly ever fix it. I'm supposed to somehow help Amelia to choose a new mate, and I'm still in love with her! Not that she would actually believe me if I told her that. I was such an a*****e to her over the years. I knew that she cared about me long before she turned 18 and she scented me out as her mate. And I was even attracted to her long before then, as well, so I tried to get her into bed to fool around with me several times. But she refused me because she was waiting for her mate. Then it all came to a head on her 18th birthday, and I finally scented her out as my mate.

We fell into each other's arms and made passionate love for hours. It was the most incredible experience of my life! The sparks were flying and we were insatiable together. But when the moment came where my wolf Lance wanted to mark her, I refused to let him. He and I fought for weeks about it, the mate bond being so powerful that I nearly gave in on more than one occasion.

I was such an entitled jerk, though. I was a goddamn future Gamma! I deserved a mate with a higher status than some lowly omega bastard chick, no matter how hot she was, no matter how perfect she seemed to be, no matter how much I loved her. Because I actually did love her by then. Although I never once told her so. I just kept using her body, enjoying the feeling of being balls deep into her sweet little honey pot, her love for me growing deeper for me by the day making me feel like a mighty king, until about a month had gone by and she demanded to know why I hadn't officially claimed and marked her. We had a huge fight, and when she shouted out what a jerk I was for not rejecting her in from the first, in my anger I finally did it. I rejected her, and have regretted it ever since.

Then she packed up and left, and not just me, but she left everyone at Winter Moon pack. Nobody would tell me where she had gone, although I'm sure her mother knew. Even my mother probably knew where Amelia had gone, but refused to tell me. She liked Amelia, and sided with her because she knew I hadn't done right by her. And I've been an angry, unbearable prick ever since. The other officers only tolerated me because my mom asks them to. Even Lance could barely stand me most of the time.

I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. Amelia. She doesn't smell like my mate any longer, but I can still tell that it's her. I still feel a little of the sparks left of our mate bond, but they are weak compared to what we used to share. Why couldn't I have just been content with Amelia as my mate, and give in to the mate bond?

She sits down beside me, and neither of us say anything for a while. Eventually, though, I can't stand it any longer and I have to say something. But she beats me to it.

"You still feel the sparks, don't you?"

I nod. I still can't face her, though. "The pain I feel right now is almost unbearable."

"And you must feel this pain, because this is how Amelia felt every day for the last 3 years. But she had to continue to live her life in spite of it." Ambrosia comes forward to inform me. "The least you can do is feel this way for a few weeks while we sort things out." "I'm so sorry!" I say, turning around to seek comfort in her arms as I break down completely. "I was such an a*s, and now I've lost your love forever, haven't I?"

"You have, actually." Amelia says gently, but every word felt like a knife striking me deep in the gut. "Moon goddess had to remove all the love as well as all the pain and trauma from my past, or I wouldn't be able to help her in return. I'm no longer the Amelia you knew, the one who loved you. She is dead."

"Moon goddess gave me the power to do the same for you, but not until the task is over. And only if I grant you another mate."

I break down completely at that. I no longer desire another mate, but I don't want to feel this horrible remorse for the rest of my life, either. It hurts so bad, and I can't bear it much longer. I start begging and pleading with her to take it away, even if it's just a little

bit.

Amelia wraps her arms around me, and makes a soothing gentle shushing sound as she pats my back. I don't know how long I sob into her shoulder like a little child, but after some time I hear something unexpected come out of her mouth. Only it sounded nothing like Amelia, or her wolf. And I felt some of the pain instantly leave my body.

"I forgive you."