Dishonor (Book 1 of the In Search of Honor series)
Chapter 8: Exile or Execution

Iwoke up with a start when I heard the cell door opening. I automaticallycringed to the side, but chains held me upright and my shoulders and arms hurt.Everything hurt. I opened my eyes to Reese standing in front of me sneering,“Look, sleeping beauty woke up.”

Ilooked over at Kevin and saw that he wasn’t there. “Where’s Kevin?”

“Itspast midday sweetheart. You’ve slept most of the day. We started in bright and early on Kevin. Youknow, he’s lasted longer than we expected. I thought maybe an hour or two… Butsince he won’t give in for himself yet, what if he watched a friend in pain, orwhat if you watched him in pain?”

Thetwo guards from last night walked in and I couldn’t remember which one waswhich. One had curly red hair and the other had dark black hair, but I hadn’tnoticed that last night. I’d been focused on voices and what they were doinginstead of what they looked like.

“Hellobeautiful. Sleep well last night?” that was the guard who was willing to tell meinformation last night. He was the black haired one but his pale blue eyes werecold. He was cute in dark and cold way. He was lean and muscular and the red ofthe guard uniform stood out on him.

Thered clashed with the red haired guard though. His hair was more orange coloredand it definitely didn’t look good with that red. He looked angry and upsetabout something. Maybe that had been why he didn't want to talk to me lastnight.

“Islept well, thank you.” I smiled at the dark haired guard and pulled myself tomy feet my arms falling tiredly at my side. I put my arms behind my back so itwould be easy for him to unlock me from the wall.

Reeselaughed shrilly, “Christopher, I think you have an admirer. Your charms haveearned you the love of a girl who everyone would swear was the chilliestdishonored and who is on death row. It’s sad how only the desperate like you.”

Christopher.That was his name. He turned and glared at Reese but said nothing. I rememberedhow Bryan said not all guards wanted to be where they were. Maybe he lookedcold and mean but that was just his look. Maybe he didn’t want to serve Reesebut had no choice and it had made him bitter serving a person like her.

Iwasn’t sure when I decided to be kind to him, or if I did. But the fact that hegave me information last night had raised my esteem of him.

Heunlocked the one shackle from the chain and pulled the chain through the loopon the wall. He pulled my wrists together and clipped something between them sothey were tight together. He then walked forward pulling the chain that hadheld me to the wall like it was a leash. I docilely followed after him withoutpulling on the chain or fighting him.

Reeseraised her eyebrows, “Look Raymond, Christopher can tame a wild beast. He hasher following him like a dog. I expected her to be like her friend who wouldn’ttalk even after we sentenced her to be whipped to death and promised her aquick death if she would just talk. Remember when she bit your lip Christopher?Or when she kicked you in the groin Raymond?”

Neitherof Reese’s subordinates looked too happy about her saying what Annie had doneto them. I felt proud of Annie, but fighting was futile. I would be better offnot fighting.

Heled me out of the cell and down the corridor, out a door and through anotherhall. We turned twice and came to a wooden door. Raymond opened the door andChristopher gently led me through. Since I was cooperating he was treating mekindly.

Icould see Kevin lying strapped to a table and my first instinct was to beg forhis life. To tell them everything so they wouldn’t hurt him, but he wouldn’tthank me. He had held on for this long. He could hold on till the end.

Christopherled me over to a table that had dried blood, and suddenly without warningpicked me up and lifted me on to the table. He reached behind me and unclippedwhatever was holding my wrists together. “Lie back,” he commended me blandly.His gaze was blank as if he was acting without actually being there.

Ilet myself lie down on the table and spread out my hands for them to clip tothe table. The two men quickly clipped my iron cuffs to the table and pulled leatherstraps across my chest to hold me in tight.

ThenI heard Reese’s voice, “Let’s start with the iron poker.” I shivered in fear.If they burned the souls of my feet I wouldn’t be able to walk. I stayed silentthough even as violent shivers of fear racked my body. From my line of vision Icould see Raymond leaning down toward a fire. I craned my head to look forChristopher and found him blankly watching. I couldn’t replace Reese. She hadmoved out of my sight. I looked over at Kevin and found him staring at me.There was another person in the room sitting in a chair with a book on theirknees.

“Please,please don’t hurt her. She’s not lying. She’s been compliant and told thetruth.” Why was Kevin begging for my life? I was just another dishonored girl.He needed to worry about his own life; not mine. Actually, his own life wasforfeited too. He needed to worry about his family’s lives and honor. AboutFelise. I prayed he wouldn’t speak.

Ascream was torn out of me as shearing pain shot up from my leg. I writhedtrying to get away from the pain on my shin, but it didn’t stop. Eventually Icalmed down. I tried to stifle my crying but I couldn’t as tears leaked out ofmy eyes and my mouth voiced my pain. I tried to hold it in. I didn’t want Kevinto feel responsible.

Ilooked over at Kevin and saw Raymond approaching him with a hot poker. I wantedto call out, but it felt like there was something in my throat and I justcouldn’t get the words out. Then Kevin screamed and I could see his own bodyundulating in pain. Then he walked away, but I continued to watch Kevin. Eventuallythe scream became sobs torn from his throat and which became soft mewingnoises.

Ilooked over at Raymond just in time to see him pulling a different poker fromthe fire. And then I heard that which I most dreaded, Kevin’s voice, “No, stop.I’ll tell you. Fine. I’ll tell you what you want. Just stop hurting her,please.”

Iturned my head, “No… please.” There was a hand over my mouth preventing me fromspeaking. I could see him, but I couldn’t stop him. His eyes looked torturedand his face was tear stained.

“SorryLiv, just not that strong.” He never called me Liv. Why was he starting now? Hehad to stay silent. Stay strong. I was strong. I was willing to die in silencefor his family. I was already a lost cause.

“Mostof what Liv said is true. She developed the plot. She recruited people for it.She recruited me. Promised me there would be no incriminating evidence andasked me to store her plans in my room. All I had to do was give her andanother servant to the king. The original servant was Annie, but when Anniedied Liv became obsessed. She recruited Reese into her plans. The girl’s acrazy woman. Is that enough evidence to kill me or will I only be dishonored?”He spoke in a monotone as if he had given up, but that wasn’t quite the truth.It was part of the truth. The full truth was that we had planned this together.

Buthis version worked just as well. Reese looked like a cat that had just rolledin catnip with a smug grin stretched across her mouth. “You’ll face executionyou traitorous bastard.”

Thehand came off my mouth at the same time as he proudly proclaimed, “No Reese. Ichoose exile.” He sounded so brave, like he had come up with the idea.

“Ichoose exile as well. I’d rather face the unknown outside the walls than thecrowds in for a public neck chopping party.”

Reeselooked at us as if we were animals that had just talked. “But that woulddestroy our fun!”

“Won’tyou have fun branding us as exiles? Doesn’t exiling include a fun procession tothe wall and a huge and somber party across the city in hopes that an exilewill one day come back with news of the radiation being gone in a land beyondthis one? The fabled land, where one day all dishonored can leave so, that overpopulation taxes the city’s resources no longer?” I hoped to appeal to whatevershe considered fun about executions.

Herlips puckered out in a pout, “But then I don’t get to see the best part, yourdeaths.”

“Theyasked for exile. Let’s just get on with it and brand them. You know as well aswe do that they could have waited for execution day and disappointed an entirecity by claiming exile status while up on the platform. At least now all theydisappoint is us.” I could hear Christopher’s deadpan voice that he had beenusing since we came into this room.

“Fine!Get the brand ready. We brand the cheek. That’s the way of the old exiles,though no one has chosen exile in almost a hundred years.” Reese was angry, butshe couldn’t hurt us now that we were exiles. If an exile found the fabled landthey could come back to the city to deliver the news and to bring any citizensor dishonored with them that wanted to go to a land outside the city.Truthfully, except the dishonored, most people were happy here. Most peopledidn’t want to leave the place they called home and had known since birth. Someof the dishonored, like Jordan, wouldn’t want to leave. Even Rachel probablywouldn’t want to go because this was her home.

Kevinand I stared at each other from the tables we were strapped to, neither sayinga word but both of us sharing in an understanding that our world was about tochange. I wasn’t sure why it was so comforting to simply stare into his eyes,but it was. It was comforting to know that someone was still there and would bethere with me in the coming trials.

Iwished I could stretch out my hand and hold his to lend support and receivesupport, but all we could do was stare at each other across the room.

“Stopstaring at each other like lovesick songbirds! Raymond, tie up Kevin’s head.Christopher, tie up Liv’s head.” Trust Reese and her sharp biting voice tobreak up a moment.

Isaw Raymond eagerly going toward Kevin, and a gentle hand rotated my head sothat I looked upward, and then wrapped a strap around my head. He pulledanother strap across the table tying the one around my head to it so that Icould only stare at the ceiling, “It’s for your own safety, so you don’t hurtyourself when we brand your skin.” Christopher’s voice was quiet and soothed mynerves. I stared up at the wooden ceiling. Beams crisscrossed its expansesupporting it, and they looked wooden. If this building had been around sincethe city had first been built, either over time beams had been replaced, orthose beams were in really good condition for wooden beams that would normallyjust eventually rot away.

“Arethose real wood?” I couldn’t help asking. We had to wait for the brands to heatup anyway.

“Arewhat real wood?” Reese’s voice cut across like a whip.

“Thebeams on the ceiling; are they real wood?” I had to repeat myself still beforce to stare up at them and unable to move any part of my body except for myfinger toes, eyes, and eyelids.

Reeselaughed but didn’t answer. A softer and kinder voice answered, “Aye, those arereal wood. They are grown from special trees that are planted every one hundredyears to bear more wood for his majesty’s best buildings.”

Iwish I could thank Christopher for his kindness in some way, and I was glad Ihad given him the kiss the night before.

Iheard him walk away, and I knew what was coming as he walked back. Suddenlypain hit my cheek as he stuck the hot exile brand to my cheek. I writhed in thecontrol of my bonds, but they held firm. Just like where the hot poker went, mycheek still hurt even though the brand was gone. And I had a feeling we weren’tgoing to be given a change to recover.

TheReese’s voice struck again, “Raymond, take Kevin to the dressing room.Christopher, you can clean up and dress Liv. You both know the exile clothing,right?”

“Yesma’am,” Christopher called out to the crazy woman. Obviously exiles got somespecial clothing, or something.

The“or something” was what worried me. No one had been exiled in my lifetime. Whatwould they make us wear?

AndGod, my cheek was still hurting. It burned as if it was still on fire just asmy shins were also burning in pain. God damn Reese and her painful torturemethods to hell. Of course, that was the point of torture. Just Kevin didn’tmanage to last.

Suddenlythe straps holding my head still were released, and then slowly but surelyChristopher released the other straps, and then unhooked my shackled from thetable, and then he took the hated metal things off my hands. Thank God theywere gone.

Irubbed my wrists and looked at him as I got up. I raised an eyebrow questioninghim as to why the shackles were gone.

“Youdon’t need them anymore. You’re branded now, and everyone will know you are anexile and shouldn’t be in this city. If you escape you will just be broughtback to be prepared for execution. It’s kind of similar to why the dishonoreddon’t wear shackles. Come on. We need to go get you ready to journey into yourdeath by radiation poisoning outside these walls.” He looked as if this painedhim. As if he thought exile was worse then death.

“Whenwas the last person exiled?” I asked as I followed him out of the room with myhobbling limp from the pain in my shin in the opposite direction that Kevin wasbeing lead.

“Ithink it was about a hundred years ago. I’ve been trained on the procedure butno one has been stupid enough to choose exile in my lifetime, until you. Why?Why would you choose such a slow painful death?” Hi voice was soft, and kind.He truly believed I had chosen the worst fate one could possibly face.

“Ihave a chance at life. If no one’s left in a long time who’s to say that Iwould die from the radiation. Maybe it’s decreased. And I have pride. I know,I’m dishonored. I shouldn’t have so much damned pride and such a sense ofhonor, but I can’t help it. I do. I feel like dishonor has only made me moredetermined to keep my honor even if I had to hide it to survive. I couldn’tstand to be publicly executed and humiliated in front of a crowd of people who treathonor like it’s a festival. God damned me to be a dishonored with honor. Maybeit was my little bit of rebellion. To hold onto that pride and honor, but justbecause someone claims they strip you of honor doesn’t mean you lose your senseof it.” Then I shut up.

Iwas babbling and repeating myself. I was… I was scared. I was legitimatelyscared of the choice I had made, but I was less scared of it than I was of theother choice. The choice of straight up execution wasn’t a choice for my wantto live and my refusal to be so publicly humiliated again.

Ihadn’t really been observing where we were going, but we stopped at anotherwooden door and I took that chance to rest my leg. It was hurting so damn much.I watched as he unlocked the door and took what seemed forever to pull open thebig heavy door.

Behindit was a small walk in style closet with boots on the ground, clothing hangingon rods around the closet, and headgear on a shelf above the rods.

Atthe back was another door. “First you shower, then you dress. I will wait herefor you. And you may take as long as you want in the shower. This is likely tobe the last shower you get in a long time. Enjoy it while it lasts.”Christopher the guard was telling me to take a shower? I looked at him, but therewas no guile in his face. I looked back at the wooden door, and then Ihesitantly walked forward and took the door knob in my clammy hands, butnothing jumped out or tried to kill me when I pulled open the door. Instead Iwas in an old bathroom with a red wall, a pedestal sink, a small toilet, andwhat I suspected was a shower encased by glass.

Ilooked back at Christopher, and he nodded, “Yes. Go in. It is part of thecomplex within the prison grounds built for the noble family that lives on thegrounds and owns and operates this place. The Davinsha family. You have seenthem staring at the dishonored from high and mighty heights. Well this bathroomis one of theirs, but it is required that when a person has chosen exile theyget to leave the city clean. It was written in the original laws that theDavinsha family shares their bathroom and closet with the exiled. This one isthe women’s one and your Konjack friend went to the men’s one.”

Ididn’t know the exiled laws, so I accepted Christopher’s words and closed thedoor behind me. There was also another door, but I figured that lead into thehouse proper. A woman entered from that door in servants garb. “Ahh, thepromised exile has arrived. Lady Lienna told us that two chose exile, and wehave come to help you. They must be presentable for the procession to the greatgate. And that sack won’t cut it.”

Thewoman came up meaning to disrobe me, but I quickly took the sack off myself.She clucked her tongue in disapproval, but instead of saying anything shemerely turned on the water and pulled off her own clothing. Then she came over,grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to the shower.

Icould vaguely remember showers with servants when I was little. And this wasjust like that except now I was taller and skinnier. The woman scrubbed me witha brush and used smelly things on my skin. When she hit my burns, I flinchedand tried to pull away but she held me even as tears leaked out of my eyes fromthe pain the burns caused. She finally finished with my body and move onto myhair. She scrubbed it multiple times and rinsed it each time before scrubbingit again. Finally she seemed satisfied and then finger combed something into myshort two inch long hair. She turned off the water and led me out of theshower. She then grabbed a towel and dried me off.

Shewrapped the towel around me and then grabbed ointment from a shelf and put someon my burns. “Leave the towel on the floor of the closet when you leave,” andthen she was gone and I was alone in the bathroom. I looked down at the toweland then at the door she came through. It was shut as if she hadn’t even gonethrough there. She was fast.

Iturned back toward my own door, took a deep breath and then opened it. “Ahh youreturn. And wow!”, he started, suddenly getting a good look at me and making meblush. “You do clean up pretty, even with the short hair.” Why did guys alwaysthink I was so pretty? Was it flawless skin or my facial structure, because itsure as hell wasn’t my nonexistent chest.

Heheld out under clothing to me. “I guessed your size. Tell me if it fits.”

I knewwhat to do with some of it, but I’d never worn a bra before. I held that oneout for putting on last, and when I couldn’t put it off anymore I held up thepiece of clothing that I knew what it was and what it did but not how to put iton. I would figure it out though. It couldn’t be that hard could it?

Christopherwas looking through the clothing, but noticed my troubles and laughed. “Youwere just a young girl when you were dishonored weren’t you?” I nodded, tooembarrassed to say anything.

Hecame over and helped me with the bra I was fumbling with. “I’ve helped enoughwomen in and out of these.” If it was possible, I probably turned even redderat that comment and my mind turned back to that kiss. He was a good kisser… Iyanked my mind out of the gutter and focused on how the dratted thing wentaround my chest and then straps went up and over my arms. It wasn’t actually thatbad.

“Now,exiled get leather clothing that acts to protect you from the elements and alittle bit as armor, but don’t expect it to stop everything. First you have theleather pants and a belt. Try this on.” He passed me undyed brown leather men’strousers.

“Butthese are men’s trousers.” Women didn’t wear trousers. We wore dresses andskirts as was proper.

“Along time ago when the rules were written for exiles women were considered theequals of men in everything and wore trousers as well. Not many people know ofthis anymore. In fact, those of us trained to prepare an exile are the onlyones who know, and we are few and far between, and all of us serve the spies.”He was so kind and courteous in here. He had been rough at the beginning butwilling to tell me information, and now I was seeing someone different from thefirst guard I met. I wasn’t sure who I saw. He hadn’t even tried to steal akiss from me.

Ifocused on the trousers and carefully put my legs in the holes and pulled upthe tight leather pants. There were buttons at the top and I carefully did themup.

Helooked over at me from where he was grabbing something from the rack andsmiled, “They look sharp on those pretty legs of yours.” I looked down and sawmy skinny legs outlined in the pants and felt as if I was horribly exposed. Howcould women have borne to wear trousers?

Thehe passed me a strip of leather. “What’s this?” I’d seen it before but I didn’tknow what it was for.

“That,dear girl, is called a belt. You put it through the loops on your pants andbuckle it and then it, in return, keeps your pants up.” It sounded weird, but Iwould go with it for his sake. I took the thing and put it on as explained.

Nexthe passed me a stiff and rectangularish thing with hooks at two of the edges. Iquirked my eyebrow up and he answered as if I had spoken, “It’s called acorset. I’ll put it on for you and I’ll also do up your neck collar.” Since Ihad no clue what the two items were I was happy for the help.

Thecorset was the same undyed leather. It went around under my arms and over mychest. He latched up the back and then put a neck collar thing on that went allthe way up to just under my jaw and then met up with the corset in the frontand the back but didn’t go past my shoulders on the side. The front and theback had leather straps that connected to the corset and held the two together.Over top of these strange pieces of clothing he gave me a leather jacket withlong sleeves. “This will help protect you from thorns and the elements.”

Thatupset look crossed his face again and I wondered if it upset him that theleather wouldn’t protect me from the radiation, but that was absurd. Hecouldn’t care about me. We barely knew each other. I pulled the jacket on as hepassed me a small cloth item. “Socks. They will keep your feet from chafing inthe boots.”

Ididn’t bother to ask what chafing was. I stared at these socks unsure of whatto do with them. He sighed and took them from me. Suddenly there were two piecesof fabric and one had a hole surrounded by material. “Stick your foot inthere.” I carefully did as I was instructed with the two socks.

Hewatched for a second and then turned back around and grabbed a pair of tallblack leather boots. He unzipped the back of the boot and passed it me. “Trythis on. I think it will fit.”

Itried it on, but the boot pinched my toe. “No, it’s a little tight on the toe.”And I passed it back to him. He took the boot back, and glanced back at my feetbefore grabbing another pair of boots and passing me one.

Thisone fit perfectly and I could enjoy the amount of padding my foot was standingin. “This fits.”

Hehanded me the other boot and I put it on as well. It was strange that the onlypiece of clothing he didn’t guess correctly was my boot.

Helooked me over and frowned. “I’m forgetting something… Oh yes, the skull cap.”

Theskull cap? He grabbed yet another leather item from the top shelf. This one hepulled over my head and buckled under my chin. The thing covered the back andtop of my head and pat of my face around the eyes, but it left completely openmy nose and my cheeks so that everyone could see that I was branded and exile.

“You…you look scary. Like you could be a guard.” His voice suddenly sounded hoarse.

“Don’tworry about me. I’ll take care of myself out there and return with news of theland beyond the burnt lands.” I promised with a smile.

Buthe just shook his head. “Don’t say lies. Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”I shut up. I couldn’t promise him everything would be fine. I couldn’t evenpromise him I wouldn’t die.

“AmI ready then?” I felt awkward in this strange getup. It felt like I had a thicksecond skin that didn’t move smoothly with me.

Henodded as if unsure his voice would hold and then he added, “The spy you callReese had some other guard spies get two horses ready for you and Kevin to ridein the procession.”

Helooked me over once more and then turned and strode off with me tagging alongbehind. I could have run away, but where would I have gone with my brandedcheek?

Heled me outside, and the sun was just rising. How many days had I been containedin the prison? Was it only a single day?

Ilooked around at the empty courtyard and realized that this wasn’t thecourtyard I was used to. In fact this was the courtyard in front of the fancyhouse owned by the Davinsha family. We were never allowed near the house unlesson a work detail for the family, but I had seen it in the distance. A woman wasleading two big black and scary looking horses out of the stable.

“Am…am I supposed to ride one of those?” I was dishonored. I hadn’t ridden since Iwas a child. In fact I hadn’t dealt with the creatures since I became a houseservant. The most I had dealt with them was rolling in horse manure at the endof each day. I looked back and saw the giant cement prison rising up above mewith a solid blank and unadorned wall. Not even a window marred its perfectwhite face. Just the one wooden door I had just walked out.

Thedoor opened again and Kevin walked out wearing similar leather clothing. Icouldn’t see what the leather under his leather jacket looked like except thathe also had a leather collar encasing his neck. The scruffy facial hair he usedto have had been shaved away. The leather looked good on him.

Ifelt my face turning red and hot again so I quickly looked away. I didn’t wanthim to know I liked him as more than a brother.

“Yes.”I started and for a second thought Christopher was agreeing with my thoughts,and then I remembered my question about the horses.

Hecontinued, “The horses are calm and bomb proof.”

Technicallyeveryone here was bomb proof, but I didn’t feel like pointing that out. Even asolid horse could get me off. I’d ridden as a child. I remembered falling offwhen the guards had come for me. I didn’t want to go back on a horse.Especially not one as tall and big as the black horses with the hairy legs.

“But…but I’m dishonored. Dishonored don’t ride. Dishonored don’t get specialtreatment. You… You can't expect me to ride that… that thing through the city.”I normally try not to be afraid. Fear is something that can be overcome. But Ihadn’t been prepared to ever face a fear of horses. Actually I hadn’t evenrealized one existed till now.

Kevinanswered, “It’s not that bad Elizabeth. You used to be a great rider.”

“WhenI was eight riding a little pony.” Not a giant black creature that could knockme over with his oversized head.

“Where’sthe fearless girl I knew growing up?”

“Shewas dishonored and then put into uncomfortable men’s trousers that are way toorevealing.” Why did he have to remind me that I tried to face my fears? Igritted my teeth, walked forward till I came to a stop in front of the horse,and thrust my hand under its nose.

Itgently sniffed my hand for treats and gave me a sad look when I had none. Theman holding it smiled at me, “His name’s Kingston. He’s only a half breedma’am, but he’s a good steady lad. He’ll take ya out beyond the radiation, andthen you’ll come back to lead us out of this overcrowded place.”

Ma’am?I was dishonored. I was no ma’am. I frowned and looked back to replace that theother three men had followed me up to the horses.

Christopherspoke gently, as if I might spook, “when you chose exile you chose an honorablepath. You know that no one has chosen exile in a long time. People are afraidof leaving the city, and those brave enough to leave regain their honor forleaving the city and gain the respect of the people. Yes, your family is stilldishonored, but your own self is redeemed. If you come back alive your entirefamily regains their honor.”

I…But I couldn’t regain my honor, could I? Could Annie? Could we have chosenexile and left the walls together. No. Not because of Annie but because of me.I was afraid of going outside just like anyone else in this city. It was justthe fear of public execution was stronger than my fear of leaving the walls. Ilooked over at Kevin who was getting acquainted with his own horse.

Hewas the brave one. He was facing exile because I convinced him to take it. Andwe were taking these poor creatures into exile and radiation with us. Theyweren’t facing execution, but they would give us a ride out of this place. Itwould be their place to take us out of the radiation if there was a placeoutside the radiation. Otherwise they would waste away and die with us.

“Arethe horses part of the old laws of exile?” I couldn’t see the current kingwilling giving anything to people who chose exile. He probably wouldn’t evenwant us to have our honor when we walked out of those giant gates.

Raymondsneered at me, “Yes. The king wouldn’t care about scum like you. The king couldcare less about if there is a place past the radiation. We have a perfect worldwithin these walls.” His voice was so slimy. I didn’t understand why he hatedus so much.

“It’stime to say goodbye Elizabeth.” I started when I heard Christopher’s voicespeaking my noble name. That name that had been taken away so long ago.

Heheld out his hand next to the horse, “Step on up. The whole city is waiting foryou.”

Fearwashed over me again, but I put my foot in his hand, and suddenly I was beinglifted up. I grasped at the horse’s neck and swung my other leg over. Amovement long forgotten and yet now remembered.

Heput my feet in a metal thing on the… the saddle I was sitting on. And thosemetal things… they were… st… stranger, stall, stir, stirrup! They werestirrups. That was the word I was looking for.

Ilooked over and saw Kevin up on his horse. There were bags behind our saddles.I figured those were food for our journey into death. They had to at least makeit seem like exile wasn’t a certain death sentence. But maybe it wasn’t. Maybeit was a chance at life.

“Followme sir and ma’am. Right next to each other so everyone sees the two exiles.Matching horses. Look like nobility you do.” I wasn’t quite sure what we weredoing but Kevin rode up next to me.

“Pushhim with your legs Elizabeth. Move him forward. Let’s leave this place behind.”I pushed, but even as were walking away I looked back, but all I saw were the twoguards retreating backs. It was so strange replaceing someone who could be openlynice is such a place. And the fact that he worked next to Raymond and seemed tobe his friend, I would never understand.

Ilooked forward and saw we were following a road that led out between fancygates. Beyond that lay the city people. They would celebrate our exile justlike it was an execution and just like they celebrated everything else. At leastthey wouldn’t be lifting my head up in the air to laugh at. At the gate twoguards I didn’t know came in front of use and two on either side as the groomwent back to his barn.

Iguess even with the brands they were afraid we would somehow escape and evade capturein the city. But no one would harbor someone with the exile brand. Exiles wereonly honored as long as they left the city.

Wewalked down a silent road past the prison courtyard where I used to line upevery day to work, but the place was silent and empty. No one was there. “Whyis it so silent?” I asked no one in particular but I hoped someone would answerme.

Oneof the guards spoke up, “The dishonored wait in their cells. Most of the guardshave the morning off.”

Iremembered waiting in a cell and my stomach growling and no guards coming.Those were normally execution days. Only for some executions were dishonoredpresent. Those were executions they wanted to make an example of. I had heardbefore that guards had one day off a week and then the mornings of executions,and I guess the morning exiles left too.

“Whydon’t you have off then?” I know some guards are on for executions. I wasn’tsure why they were chosen though.

“Wevolunteered for this honor. Leading two people brave enough to choose exileover the easy out of execution is an honor.” This sounded like the guard on theother side of Kevin.

Kevinwas focused on the road ahead. He was not looking around or seeming to careabout anything. His face was scrunched into a frown and he looked fairlyunhappy.

Hehad no idea how strange this whole honor to the prisoners thing was. I wascompletely weirded out by the honor being given to me for choosing to be anexile. I had had no clue that anyone would think it was honorable to chooseexile. I had just wanted to die where I would have no crowd, but now I left thecity with honor.

Wecleared the prison gates and suddenly there was a crowd lining the street thatlead to the gate. People threw grass down on the road in front of our horses.“Find the land beyond the radiation for us lady! “ A woman called from the sideof the street. A man ran up next to my horse and the guard let him. I recognizedthe name. It was Bryan.

Heheld up a flower to me. It was a simple daisy, but it was pretty enough. Why washe giving me a flower? “To remember me by fair lady. When you replace the placebeyond the radiation remember me is all I ask.”

Wellhe answered my question without me having to ask. I smiled down at him, “I willremember you, but take care of my sister. She’s quite fragile underneath hercalm and in charge façade. She’s still an honored noble woman underneath that.”

“Ipromise you Liv. I will look after your sister and do all I can to help her.”He sounded sincere as we walked along the grass covered road.

Bryanfell back and blended back into the crowd as we continued onward. The crowdstayed with us, but the closer we got to the gate the quieter the crowd seemedto get. And at the gate there was no grass on the ground. Everyone stood backfrom it as if it was cursed.

Andthe gate was big. It could fit the horse and two or three horses stacked on topof him going through it. The guards walked forward and knocked on the door. Itsounded quiet in the scope of the city and the giant gate.

Suddenlythere was a loud thrumming noise and the sound of metal scraping, and the gatesstarted to open into the city. They opened just enough for the two of us topass through side by side. The guards surrounding us saluted us and steppedaway. One called out, “Go through the gate and the people in the wall will giveyou the next step.”