Envious Desire
43

Eric

This whole situation is fucked! I can’t believe this shit happened. Chloe went on a rampage after Shelly left in the ambulance. I got the beating I deserved, especially after the other night with Maddy. Now I have a black eye and a split lip. She can throw a mean fucking punch. To be honest, I deserve a lot worse than that.

Anger can give people superhuman strength. After she gave me my warranted lashing, she warned me to never go near her best friend again, but how could I stay away from her, especially now? I have to be there for her no matter what, even if it means receiving a beating from her best friend for the rest of my life. I’m willing to take it; Shelly’s worth it.

But after last night? Will there ever be a chance? I pinch the bridge of my nose, releasing a sigh. I create a Windsor knot, grab my suit jacket, and walk out the door to today’s mournful event.

Axle

Eric phoned the other night, informing me of the horrific events that transpired at his home. But the most critical information he granted me was that Chloe was present. I swear my heart ceased to beat when her name left his lips.

It’s unfathomable what living through that again was like for her. Reliving, observing a mother figure lying on the floor, presumably dead. Fuck! I need to be there for her now more than ever; notwithstanding, would she even crave to be in my proximity, given the craziness of our predicament.

I caught wind that she packed her bags and absconded, but not that she reemerged in her living quarters. She returned and still hadn’t connected with me. Is she vexed? Is she– she done with me? With us?

The agonizing speculation of her being uninterested in anything to do with me causes my chest to ache. My head pounds at the thought. My breathing labors with each breath. The knowledge of her presence so close burns my flesh with longing. Shutting my eyes, I take deep breaths while I commence dressing.

At the hospital, she was distraught. Apparently, Shelly lost consciousness in the ambulance and was also admitted to the hospital. Jade was consoling her when I arrived, attempting to hold her together. Elijah emerged, assuming the role of caretaker, embracing her.

I’m incapable of explaining the amount of fury that skyrocketed within me when witnessing their embrace. My desire was to rip his fucking head off and feed it to the dogs. It should be me consoling her in her time of need! I’m the ONE she should be entwined in her arms, coiled around her when shes in need of comfort, not him! I began my stride towards her when Jade halted my actions.

Jade informed me of Chloe’s fragile state due to Cassandra and Shelly’s critical condition. I explained my sole desire was to inform Chloe I was always here whenever she required my presence.

In a faint voice, she stated what I wasn’t prepared to hear.

“Chloe doesn’t want to see you. She’s not ready.”

I sensed my heart shattering with each word she uttered. I deserted the hospital with swift feet, feeling mixed emotions of devastation, outrage, and dejection.

Amanda was entering the building amid my escape. She required my attention, inquiring of my well-being. I assured her all was right, and she called my bluff.

To my surprise, she clasped her arms around me. Eerie can’t begin to describe the interaction; a chill clawed it’s way up my spine. I ended our exchange, skirting away with swift feet. For some odd reason, an intuition urged me to peer back. Amanda remained unmoved, gawking at me as I drove away. Something is definitely off with her.

Shaking off that night’s peculiar events, my mind drifts back to HER. I attempt to obliviate the horridness of our relationship from my mind. I’m clobbered with fantastical memories of times past, infectious laughter, and intimate moments, evoking a monumental stabbing under my ribcage.

The ringtone on my phone blares in the air, and, of course, Selena’s name appears on my screen. Fuck! This woman is fucking deplorable! Swiping right, I send her to voicemail. The phone rings again! Fuck! Voicemail! I toss the phone on the bed with fury.

Dealing with her dumbfuckery is not of importance today! The music fills the air a third time. Fuck! Striding toward the phone, I swipe left!

“What, Selena!”

“Oh, good morning to you too, baby daddy.”

“How often must I inform you to stop fucking calling me that?”

“But you are, and what’s wrong with stating the truth?”

Shutting my eyes, I quickly move my neck to the left, hearkening to the cracking sounds that emerge. Her consistent reminder seethes my flesh, activating heat to escape my head.

“What do you want, Selena?”

“I need you to take Anele. I have things to do today.”

“Well, so do I.”

“What’s more important than your daughter?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Well, I need time to run some errands, and you’re her father, so you need to take her.”

“Damn it, Selena! I can’t! I have something important to attend today.”

“Well, too bad, she’s already on her way to your house.”

“What do you mean she is already on her way? You’re not with her?”

“Nope, I had an early appointment and sent her to you with Estelle.”

“Who the fuck is Estelle?”

“She’s the nanny.”

“A nanny? When the fuck did you get a nanny?”

“She’s on call just in case I need her.”

“Don’t you need her? Why can’t Estelle watch her?”

“Can’t. She’s doing me the favor of bringing her to you, but her son’s birthday is today. Have a great day with your daughter. I’m sure she’ll enjoy daddy, daughter time. Have a great time, Baby Daddy!”

She ends the call before I can counter her actions. The doorbell echoes in the house, my eyes sealed shut, enraged at my current situation.

Answering the door, Anele comes into view in the arms of a woman I’ve never met. A sudden rage boils from my toes to the top of my head. Why the fuck is Anele in the arms of a woman she doesn’t even know?

“Mr. Cross?”

“Yes, I’ll take Anele off your hands.”

She extends her arms, placing Anele in mine while handing over the baby bag.

Anele’s hands are hyperactive, reaching every part of my face, causing me to chuckle. “Thank you.” I close the door, grab her carrier, and head out, hoping she will behave during today’s sorrowful event.

Chloe

Sleep has evaded my very soul since that nauseating day. How could this have happened to both of them? This throttles so many horrid memories before my eyes. I long for this pain to cease to exist. I’m in disbelief these events unfolded before me once again.

There’s an imprint of my body in my bed; I’ve spent the past four hours gazing at the ceiling, reliving moments with her. Arguments, griefs, embraces, laughter, all of it, it’s too painful to recall. I finally drag myself out of bed to dress for today.

I’m unsure how to get past this; I inhale a deep breath, exhaling it slow and steady. Once dressed, I make my way to the kitchen when I’m hit with the recollection of Axle and me on the kitchen counter.

Sealing my orbs tight, I will the thought away in dire need of a reprieve. Opening my chocolate-colored hues, I peer towards the living room, reliving our role-play. Ugh! This whole damn house is nothing but a cobwebbed crypt of retrospections from times past in every crevice.

A knock wonderfully interrupts my excruciating stumble down memory lane. Opening the door, Jade comes into view. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” I express in a low voice.

I shut the door behind us, unprepared to face this horrid day.

Shelly

Rolling out of bed, I’m in disbelief today, is even possible. She should not have passed away at her age. They explained she went into cardiac arrest. I couldn’t even comprehend when they stated it. As if on auto-pilot, I make my way into the bathroom.

The medication she stated she was on is called Metropolol. It’s a heart medication that works by relaxing blood vessels, slowing the heart rate to improve blood flow, and decreasing blood pressure. She had high blood pressure, and I was unaware of her condition.

This medicine has side effects that were apparent but not to me. What kind of daughter am I that doesn’t know her mother’s condition? Her cold hands and nausea were all side effects, but evidently, it didn’t stop her arrhythmia, leading to her cardiac arrest. I’m such a horrible child. How could I not see it?

My hands conceal my face, tears spill over again. She can’t be gone! I haven’t been able to stop this endless parade of tears from flowing down my cheeks at every waking moment. Why does this hurt so much? How do I make this stop? I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. All day, every day, just nothing but total anguish. Pain in every movement, in every breath, in every blink. When will it stop?

I strike the mirror before me, shattering its once solid pane, shards falling before me. Tears overflow, with anguishing pains escaping the depth of my stomach, falling to my knees.

“MOM!”

All the pain I’ve ever felt is being felt all at once, paralyzing me in place, only allowing the cries of my torment to be heard by all. I can’t– I – I can’t– breathe. Short breaths capture in my throat when Chloe comes flying through the door, embracing me. “Shelly, Shelly, look at me. Breathe with me, breathe, Shelly, damn it, breathe!”

Viewing the wrinkles on her forehead, accompanied by the rounding of her concerned eyes, causes waves of guilt to consume me. I can’t do this to her; she’s been through enough already. I gaze at her lips, attempting to follow her steps.

Little by little, my breath steadies, finally in sync; my chest opens up, allowing regular breaths to fill my lungs.

Hugging me, “Don’t scare me like that again, Shell! I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you too.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“No! It’s okay, Shell, you can feel everything you need to feel, but you just have to stay breathing, deal?”

Nodding my head. “Deal.“′

Chloe assists me off the floor. “Now, let’s get you in the shower. We need to get ready. Jade is making some breakfast for you in the kitchen. I’ll clean up this mess, and you make sure to clean out your cuts.”

Too weak to argue, I allow her assistance to prepare for the most challenging day of my life.

Arriving at the viewing, my legs will falter at any minute. The funeral home is filled with her favorite flowers, Cosmos bipinnatus, just like mine.

I always call them Daisys, but their petals are shaped differently. It almost tears out my heart, viewing them encase her.

I can’t believe how beautiful it looks here. Mom would have loved it. Coming to that realization, more tears pour from my eyes. Why did she have to go? I can’t take this pain. It hurts so much. I don’t want to feel this anymore. I want it to go away. This is unbearable. How does anyone ever survive this deep-seated anguish?

I haven’t been able to walk up to the casket since I arrived at the funeral home. Chloe’s embrace tightens, informing me she’s here for me and feels my pain, and then it hits me. Chloe wasn’t around for her mother’s funeral. She fled before she could attend. This must be so hard for her. Oh, my poor Chlo. I can’t imagine what it’s doing to her.

The ceremony commences, and Chloe makes a speech for me knowing full well I’m incapable of uttering a coherent utterance right now. It was beautiful, and I couldn’t have asked for a better sister.

The end of the viewing has come to a close, the place has cleared out. I finally mustered the courage to drag myself up to the casket. Observing her hardened frame, she’s unreal. I kneel before her tears, streaming one after another.

“I want her back! I want her back!” I wail at the top of my lungs, pain consuming every nerve in my body.

Chloe rushes to my side. “I know, Shell. I know. I want her ba,ck too.”

Clutching onto Chloe, I release my anguish in her arms. Sobbing uncontrollably, grasping her tighter, I can’t remove the pain weighing on my chest.

“It’s okay, Shell, it’s okay. Just hold on to me.”

Nothing but misery and torture filter through me. When will this all end! My tears flow over like a waterfall, unable to cease with harrowing sounds escaping my throat.

“Shelly!”

Peering from behind Chloe’s arms, I see Eric stalk towards us. Chloe rises to full height. “Don’t you dare come near her, or I’ll pummel your face again!”

Eric stops in his tracks, veering my eyes towards his face, viewing the bruises and busted lip.

“Chloe, please, no.” I pleaded through short breaths.

Chloe’s eyes replace mine without twisting her body, unspoken words travel between us, and she lessens her stance.

Eric strides towards me, lifting me up. “I got you, Shell.”

I’m too beaten to respond. I allow his assistance to the car with Chloe. The next part is not something I’m sure I can handle.

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Sitting before her coffin, I’m torn between rushing to the coffin, opening the casket, and yelling at her to wake up or just dying in place of her.

I’m so consumed with excruciating agony. I don’t know what’s the right thing to do right now. Silent tears fall from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks, dampening my dress. Chloe and Jade are both by my side. Eric is nowhere to be found. I can’t help but wonder why this happened to my mother?

The ceremony begins, flashing by in an instant. I’m unaware until we’re left alone when Chloe alerts me.

“I’ll give you a moment,” she whispers by my side.

She walks away, giving me space I’m in desperate need of. I require to have a moment with my mother. Stumbling to her casket, I lie my head upon where her hands would be, allowing my pain to moisten her coffin.

“Hi, Mom.” I can barely hear my own voice. I’m at a loss for words. “I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m just not ready to say goodbye yet.”

More tears splash on the varnished wood. “How am I going to do this without you? Maybe if you told me, I could have watched after you? Maybe you would be here right now if you didn’t withhold it from me!” I scream at the top of my lungs, becoming so weak my knees meet the floor. Bent over in sheer pain, I release my grief, screaming at the top of my lungs.

A robust set of arms snake around me, taking me by surprise. Looking up behind muddled eyes, a male form sits before me. It’s Eric, “I want her back, Eric. I need her.”

Kissing the side of my head. “I know, baby, I know. If I could, I would do anything to bring her back to you.”

For the first time since our separation, I believe the sincerity behind his voice. Sobbing into his arms, I can’t help but feel comfort.

“Shell, we can go now,” Chloe’s voice floats in the air.

“I can take her,” Eric interjects.

“Like hell, you will.”

“Chloe, please, not today,” I retort with pain in my voice.

“I have to get some things from the house anyway,” Eric interjected.

Suddenly, Chloe’s whole demeanor changes. Peering in the direction of her eyes. I see Axle, with a baby carrier, holding his daughter. My eyes shift back to Chloe, shes unmoving, stuck in place.

A shrill voice pierces my ears from a distance.

“Axle, why would you bring my baby to a funeral?”

Twisting to face her, Axle speaks in hushed tones, looking over his shoulder with sorrow in his eyes as he grabs Selena by the arm leading her away.

Rising to my feet. “Chlo, are you okay?”

Twisting her head just a bit. “Yeah, I’ll be– I’ll be fine. Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home, Shell?”

Considering her current situation, she may need time alone, as do I. “I’m sure, Chlo. He can take me home.”

Nodding her head, she disappears with Jade.

Eric escorts me home, opening the door allowing me to walk through first. Seeing the living room, I burst into tears again, falling to my knees. Eric rushes to my side, cradling me in his strong embrace.

“I want the pain to stop. I can’t take this, Eric! It hurts so much.”

Cupping my face, “I know, baby, I know. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If there’s anything I could do, I would, I swear I would.”

“Please, Eric, make it stop! I want it to stop!” I beg in complete desperation.

“I wish I knew how, Baby?”

Abruptly, I encase his face, planting my lips on his. He pulls back in shock. I leap forward again, connecting our lips, he reciprocates. For the first time since this whole ordeal, I finally felt something other than heartache.

Receding from our connection. “Shelly, I don’t think this is a good idea. You’re going through so much. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Anger shoots through me, “FINE! THEN GET THE FUCK OUT!” I stand, stomping away from him.

“Shelly, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to hate me even more.”

“All I want right now is to feel something other than pain, Eric! I’m tired of feeling this way. It’s all I’ve been feeling for the past two days!” I thump towards Eric, enraged, pulling my arm back, allowing my arm to fly forward, hand connecting with his face.

“You can cheat on me with the whore doctor, but you can’t fuck me when I need it most.”

“Shelly, I’m so sorry.”

“GET OUT! JUST GET OUT, ERIC!” My rage soars through me, unleashing on his chest, one punch after another. He holds me in his arms, and I can feel the love.

His hands cup my face, and our lips connect again, but he keeps our connection this time. Nothing else matters right now, nothing but this feeling, any feeling but this nightmare of ongoing sorrow.

Our hands ravage each other, peeling off our clothes. Eric lifts me, legs automatically wrapping around his waist. He stalks us to the bedroom, leading us to the bed.

“Shelly?”

“Eric, please just fuck me, or leave. Make a decision; just know I crave to feel something different right now. I need to feel anything other than this pain stabbing my heart.”

Eric heeds my words and buries his face between my legs, causing me to wail in pleasure. This– this is what I need. I need something other than grief; consequences be damned!

Eric works his tongue like magic, swirling it on my bundle of nerves, evoking me to release my essence, screaming in pure ecstasy. “Fuck me, Eric!” Yanking on his arms, I require immediate satisfaction.

Eric crawls between my legs, stopping, staring into my eyes. I could feel what he longed to spew, but I covered his mouth. “Please, Eric.”

He inches inside me, causing an exquisite, painful pleasure. Hes slow and easy; however, right now, I can’t handle slow.

“Eric fuck me! Fuck me the hardest you’ve ever fucked in your life.” I demand for my ultimate culmination.

Attending to my words, he thrusts harder and harder with each stroke, causing me to feel every inch of him. Hooking his arms around my legs, he edges my hips higher, hitting that oh-so-yummy spot, triggering me to wail with every pound of his hips.

The pressure builds in my core, “Yes! Don’t stop!” Eric keeps his pace.

“Harder!”

Eric obliges, pummeling me into the bed with every delicious thrust. Every crash into my hips throttles me closer to my end.

I’m at my end. “FUCK!” I release on his length, coating him with my nectar. Never stopping his unforgiving pace, I welcome the assault when he culminates his attack on my core, jerking every last ounce of cum inside me.

Turning to my side, I catch my breath when the memory of today hits me, tears rolling down my face. Eric swaddles me in his arms. Right now is not the time to inform him his job is done. I close my eyes, allowing sleep to consume me.

~~~

Eric shows up and is by Shelly’s side throughout this harsh day. Thoughts?

Selena dropped Anele on Axle not caring about a thing and then shows up to the funeral????

Axle is heartbroken to see Chloe.

Shelly... Shelly and her decisions?

Thoughts? Theories?

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