Falling Awake (Unbreakable #2)
10.

Eric:

“And the young prince entered the strangest tower he´d ever seen. The sun’s rays illuminated this small chamber, and the blooming wild roses of all possible and impossible colors filled its every corner. Enchanting as they were, they encouraged him to bend down and admire them.

But the prince didn’t perceive their beauty.

As soon as his gaze fell upon the sleeping girl in the middle of the room, he could no longer look up at anything else. Everything disappeared right before his eyes, and yet he knew he´d never seen more clearly. He himself had no idea when he´d dropped his sword. He had no idea when he´d managed to approach her. It must have been magic that was drawing him to her. That made him just go and not stop until she was lying in front of him.

Those roses faded before her beauty.

The sun’s rays caressed her cheeks. Her golden hair framed her sleeping face. She wore a crown of diamonds which glittered with every calm breath she took. The girl was pale, her lips were pale too, and she was so charming that the young prince forgot to breathe.

He forgot about the whole world, he forgot how he found himself in that tower at all. All he knew was that from this moment on, nothing would be the same. He bowed before her beauty. All of a sudden, he wanted to lay everything he had at her feet. There was nothing that would make sense to him anymore. Only she, only his princess did.

And then he kissed her.”

I wiggled in the bed discontentedly as she paused. I wanted to hear the story till the end. I hoped a ten-headed dragon would fly in there, the prince would fight it, and then he would eventually defeat it. I didn’t like kissing much, except for kisses from my mom who was smiling at me now.

“You’re gonna meet her one day, my little dandelion,” she told me. “You´re gonna meet your own princess. Not like the one from a fairy tale, but a real one.”

“How will I know it, Mom?” I asked. There were a lot of girls, playing with us after all, and I didn’t like any of them. None of them wasn´t able to hold on and guard the rampart when Jamie and I had to defend it against the dragons and invaders. “How will I know it’s her? That she’s a princess?”

She kissed my hair and I pushed myself closer to her warmth.

“Everything you care about, Eric, everything that revolves around your world will suddenly stop. It won’t make sense to you anymore. Out of the blue, you will see things in a completely different way. And then your whole world will start to spin only around her.”

They say that there comes a moment in every man´s life when he got struck by arrow of Cupid, by the love of God or the beauty of a woman. And sometimes, sometimes this moment brings thunder, which grows into a mighty storm.

And I’d never felt thunder or lightning like this. I’d never been struck by a miracle like I was now. Right now, when I looked into her face.

I simply knew it.

Nothing made more sense to me than lying here next to her. As if everything that had happened, led to exactly this moment. Maybe it was her magic, maybe she really conquered me. I didn’t know when I´d fallen for her so deeply. I didn’t know when she´d managed to wrap me around her little finger like that. I had no idea when I´d lost my head because of her. I just wanted it to never end.

That morning, that instant when I was looking at her.

My sleeping Princess didn’t have golden hair, it was brown. Its long messy curls covered her bare shoulders and the sun’s rays, peeking into her room revealed its reddish shade. There was nothing more satisfying than letting my fingers run through it. I could keep doing it till the world bursts. Just to stroke her hair as I would pull her closer to me.

She wore no diamond crown. She needed none. She carried the greatest wealth inside her as she had the heart of gold. Only she could see someone capable of love in me. In her eyes, I had a soul, I wasn’t completely damned yet.

The way she believed in good fascinated me. Even though she knew about the cruel world around her, she didn’t stop being kind, she didn’t stop caring at all.

I held dear our little talks. She always listened to me as if there was nothing more important at that instant. As if I was important to her. It was there, I swear, I felt again the peace I´d lost by losing my mom a long time ago.

Oh, yes, when she was in my arms, I didn’t lack of anything.

She… Damn! Her name, only saying her name had the power to ease the pain inside me. To make me forget about all, I´d been through. Thanks to her, I laughed again, I felt fear and joy again. She made the fire flare up in my eyes again. She made me remember what it was like to care. Suddenly I ceased just to exist. Because for her, living was worth it.

Fuck, her name was the most beautiful thing I could say with my lips.

There was nothing more precious to me than the moments I could spend with her. Than the moments she taught me something new. Nothing was comparable to what she´d given me, to what she´d showed me.

I would carry her to heaven myself. But the truth was, that since I´d knew her, she herself brought heaven to my mind.

For her, I would slay even a hundred-headed dragon.

Or… Rather not.

My Princess would be able to tame it and make a pet out of it, giving me a hard time that I dared even to touch it.

I was staring at her, I was watching every detail of her face, and I could swear, I´d never seen anything more bewitching. She wasn’t pale. The light blush on her cheeks told me that she´d slept well. And as I looked at her lips, suddenly kissing was all I wanted to do until the end of the world.

I couldn’t.

Even though I craved her lips more than a man, dying of thirst craves water, I couldn’t risk waking her up. I couldn’t risk ruining my fairy tale. A strange feeling gripped my chest as I realized it was already morning. As I realized that she would wake up soon, and then she would send me away. I dared to kiss at least her shoulder instead.

But I wasn’t able to control my hand.

I let my fingers stroke her hair and caress her face, I let them fondle the soft skin of her neck. They slid slowly down to her collarbone until I touched her dragon pendant. And out of the blue, I was dying to descend with my hand lower.

Damn, she had a mesmerizing chest.

All those fucking tank tops she always wore were driving me insane as they clung tightly to her body in an absolutely magnificent way. They were provoking me, they were challenging me, they were torturing me. They kept evolving my fantasy and I just begged inwardly so I could replace out what´s hidden beneath that devilish piece of fabric.

Without blink of an eye, I would tear up the one she was wearing right now, I would rip it off her. And then I would buy her another thousand of tank tops, just so I could do it again. And again.

And again.

Except it wouldn’t help me in my suffering.

Because she kicked off her duvet in her sleep again as she always did. And I planned to cover her again, as I always did. But the view in front of me disconnected the neural pathway in my brain. I swear it did. I was left speechless, unable to breathe.

There was no other road I wanted to explore with my fingers than the one which stretched across her legs. I desired to inspect every inch of it, to replace out whether her skin was so smooth as it seemed to be. Whether she was ticklish. I wanted to map her thighs with my breath, I yearned for her scent to leave indelible marks on my lips.

I wanted those fucking mini shorts gone.

Damn! Nothing had ever tested my self-control so intensively as those mini shorts my Princess wore while sleeping. I got so close to crossing its line every time I held her in my arms. They must have been made somewhere in hell. They must have been made with that one purpose only – to tempt me, to become my biggest enemy, to haunt me. To make me keep imagining how I would make her mine.

Gosh, I dreamt of her breathing for me hastily.

I wanted her to moan my name. To whisper it. To scream it.

Over and over again.

I would never get bored of it.

I dreamt of her lying under me… Fuck! I wanted to be inside her. Yet I didn’t want to conquer her, I didn’t want anything for myself. I wanted to give it all to her. I just wanted her to take it all. The way I would worship her. I simply desired to look her in the eye, to watch the moment when she would be mine.

Only mine.

When she would admit herself that she´s mine.

I didn’t forget about the promise I´d made to her at the Christmas party. Not by any chance. I´d meant it back then and I was still determined to keep it. There will come a day, a beautiful day, when I show her what euphoria is. When she´s gonna pay up for all the torture she caused me. For each single time when she provoked me. For those tank tops and mini-shorts, I had to look at without touching her. For all those hot outfits, she wore the first week of school. To say she was driving me insane would be a total underestimation of the situation.

Just like last Friday. I couldn’t think of anything else, but her soft body pressed against me and her hands on my naked skin. After she ran away from me to Bill´s, I couldn’t move for another hour and a half so Jim wouldn’t notice how hard I was for her. Hell, I was forced to admit to myself that a seventeen-year-old girl was screwing with me.

And I let her to do so with a big fat smile on my face.

I froze, I immediately stopped running my fingers through the smooth skin of her forearm as she moved. She wiggled in bed beside me before her tiny hand touched my chest. I held my breath as I heard her mumbling my name. Damn, I found myself in heaven when she pulled herself closer to snuggle up to me right after. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to lull her back to sleep. I wanted to guard her dreams. Even the whole day, if that meant that I wouldn’t have to leave her. But then I made a mistake. A huge mistake.

I lost control of myself.

The velvety skin on her back was luring me, I swear it was, and I succumbed to it. I slipped with my fingers under her tank top just to touch her for at least a few seconds. And my Princess froze immediately.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I sighed with relief, hearing the soft laughter in her sleepy voice.

Should I answer her?

Not much Dove, I´m just fighting with some kind of a crazy urge to touch you.

Nope…, it wouldn’t be a good idea to say that aloud.

And except that, there were more burning issues to talk about.

“Good morning, Princess,” I stroked her hair at least. “How much do you regret it?”

I didn’t like the heavy exhalation that probably came out of the deepest corners of her lungs. I had the impression as if she was about to admit how she felt. I was afraid of it, hell, I was terrified.

“I don’t regret anything,” she said softly.

What?

No. No, I couldn’t…

I couldn’t give in to that feeling of excitement yet. I needed to look her in the eye, I wanted to know what I would see there. I bent down to run my nose through her face, to whisper in her ear right away: “Really? False hope will kill me, Dove.”

And my Princess looked at me.

Fuck!

Stunning?

Stunning was such an insignificant word when it came down to her.

Beautiful?

No.

Hauntingly beautiful?

No, it was still too little to describe her.

The girl in front of me made the beauty itself fade with envy.

“I don’t regret anything since the moment you entered my room,” she corrected her statement, and I had to laugh. So, she didn’t share the excitement about Colin’s yesterday´s flying with me.

She sighed as she pulled herself to me even closer, and I couldn’t stop the feeling of happiness anymore. I kissed her forehead, tucking her hair behind her ear. I needed to look at her, I needed to see every detail of her expression.

“What now?” I asked. I didn’t want to ruin this perfect morning, I really didn’t. Still, I needed to know what she was up to.

“I´m gonna kick you out,” she said, “and I’ll be waiting for you tonight.”

Well…

I was incredibly happy to have my ten minutes back. But the idea that I should leave her right now was literally tearing me to pieces. I took a deep breath as an idea occurred to me, and I just had to try. Even though I assumed it would end at – I´d rather not - again. I seriously hated that phrase.

“That´s not fair, Princess,” I muttered discontentedly. “You said, and now I’m quoting you – you´re staying with me today.”

She pierced me with her green-brown eyes, I saw that she tried to understand my point. “It was already after midnight,” I explained it straight away.

Something rushed through her mind, and perhaps for the millionth time, I cursed inwardly that I couldn’t hear that.

“Damn, that´s true!” she laughed and pulled away from me.

Despite my clear disapproval, she wriggled out of my arms, as she did always, when she needed to think. But then she just threw herself back into her duvet, defeated. She turned her back on me, she took my hand to wrap it around her. As if she wanted to cover up with me and I didn’t protest at all. I pinched her against my chest and just enjoyed her divine scent.

Oh, yes, such a fabulous morning.

“Alright, Cinderella, today,” she reached her final verdict. “I’ll be yours until the clock strokes midnight. Not an extra second.”

Damn!

What a fabulous day!

***

Lara:

Oh my gosh!

What the hell have I done?

“Dove, look! Look at the clear sky! It’s gonna be a beautiful day today!”

I guess I must have gone crazy.

“Princess, are you alright? Aren’t you missing something?”

“Aren’t you cold? Do you want my sweatshirt? What about a hug, Princess, do you want a hug?”

I must have gone completely crazy.

“Do you fancy a tea? Let me get you some, OK? The ginger one you like so much.”

“What about another sandwich? You’re gonna need a lot of energy today, Dove.”

Well, girl…

That was a great idea indeed.

To give him all day.

It’s one minute past eleven and you’re already pretty stupefied.

In about thirteen hours...

You’ll be begging him to stay with you.

Damn, I must have gone totally completely crazy!

What the fuck did I think?

I was thrown off balance. I mean, I was really thrown off balance the whole time we were sitting in a small cafe where my demon had taken me, saying something about breakfast. And the excitement that was literally shining from him prevented me from waking up, from orienting myself and starting to think clearly.

He kept smiling, he kept talking, he looked so enthusiastic. Just like a little boy, having the best time on a trip at Disneyland. And I couldn’t get enough of seeing him laugh heartily again.

Did I move to some kind of a weird planet overnight?

I kept drowning in his mesmerizing eyes, that suddenly lacked the desperate yesterday’s shade. I couldn’t help myself but enjoy his joy. Actually, I didn’t even really notice what he was telling me so happily. It was as if we’d never separated.

But yeah… It didn’t disappear.

I still felt pretty confused, I still simply wished to figure out what I really wanted. Or rather, what I should do. Should I listen to my common sense and demand the truth as a proof that I could trust him? Or should I listen to my heart and give him another chance? Leave it all as it used to be? Let him keep this one secret to himself? Until he himself is ready to tell me?

The voice in the back of my brain didn’t stop reminding me that I would probably regret my decision to spend the day with him. When I will be lying in my bed alone tonight.

But then… I noticed it, I noticed one thing that easily blocked all my doubts. The calm that had always fascinated me so much about him, was back. It was reflected in his eyes; it was radiating from his whole personality. And the moment he rose the corner of his lips into a crooked smile, I made my decision. I decided not to care about the decisions today.

Time out.

I wanted a break from all the emotional crap that was haunting me.

I wanted to extend those ten minutes.

Just me and my demon.

Nothing in between.

“Dove, will you mind waiting while I take a shower?” He asked, leading me into his room.

I shook my head instead of saying no aloud. I didn’t really have another choice, I couldn’t protest. Just because he patiently waited for me until I got ready in the morning. Until Jim left for work so he could get out of my room at all. Even though I had the impression that he was dragging me to his place on purpose.

Well…

I didn’t notice when he disappeared in the bathroom as I suddenly had much bigger problem to deal with. Like to catch my breath for example. Yes, if he wanted to make me nostalgic or to remind me how close we used to be, he managed to do so perfectly.

Nothing had changed here.

His sofa remained distorted since he staggered, lost his balance, and fell on it back then, the evening I took my jeans off in front of him. The burgundy pillow still lay on the ground since I threw it at him as he kept staring at my legs. The blanket I rather wrapped around them to cover myself still hung over the statue of the fifth angel. The monopolies we´d played were still lying on the table. Candlesticks remained in the same places where I´d placed them, when I´d wanted to sit and watch the candlelight. Both of his swords stayed leaned against the wall since I studied them, he didn’t hang them back on the wall where they belonged.

It was the first time I saw his bed messy. As if I climbed out of it this morning. My makeshift pajamas, his tank top and the shorts he had given me, were still laid where I used to sleep. And my Christmas present stood on the bedside table next to his side of the bed.

No, nothing had changed here at all.

I didn’t suppress the need; I took off my shoes and threw myself on that king-size bed. Just to remind myself of what it was like to lie in his duvets.

How many of those bricks were there above me?

I counted them countless times, I counted them every night when he lay down next to me. I counted them so I wouldn’t perceive his presence, just so I would think about something else but not the mad urge of each inch of my body that longed for his touch. And then I kept getting lost in my calculations as his touch came. As he wrapped his arms around me to drown me in his embrace.

“I´ve been dreaming about this for the last month,” I heard him say softly. “To replace you here like this.”

He made me sighed heavily, not knowing what to answer. I had no idea how to react and my demon simply lay down next to me. I didn’t dare to take my eyes off the bricks on the ceiling, I couldn’t look at him. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed his scent that surrounded me. Like back then, every night when he came out of the shower and lulled me to sleep.

“Nothing has changed here,” I whispered, telling him what I was thinking.

“Welcome to my personal hell, Princess,” he muttered. “I couldn’t clean it up, I didn’t want to. It’s a proof that you were here, that it wasn’t just my imagination. This is the only thing I have left of you besides memories. It tormented me every single day, but I wasn’t able to return the stuff to its original state.”

I understood him. So many times, I wanted to bend down and get rid of the black bow tie that still lay in the corner of my room. It still lay there because I couldn’t do anything about it. As if throwing it away meant throwing Eric out of my life for good and denying that he had ever been in my room. I walked past it countless times, I looked at it, yet I always found an excuse to leave it there.

“I´ve missed you.”

My whole heart suddenly relaxed as I spoke the words aloud. It was as if a huge weight was taken of me and I could fly again. Until I heard him take a deep breath. Until the second his hands found me. Until he pulled me close, and I ended up pressed against his chest.

Against his naked chest.

I immediately opened my eyes as the heat of his body burned my skin. I opened my damn eyes just to replace out that he was lying next to me only with a towel wrapped around his hips.

Fuck!

Damn all the demons!

If this supposed to be some kind of revenge for Thursday…, well, he managed it perfectly!

I couldn’t control the stiffness that run through me when he didn’t hesitate to cuddle up to me. I felt it, I felt it too vividly. Every single one of his muscles, and hell, they still were firm. I tried hard, I really wanted to suppress it, but no, of course not. I couldn’t hold the quiet moan that came out of my mouth.

A silent moan just for me to compensate the temptation, my hormones, whatever his mere closeness always made me feel. But I forgot. I completely forgot how well my demon was able to hear. His soft laughter brought me back to reality very quickly and I preferred to pull away from him.

“What is it Dove?”

He rose, he leaned on his elbow, resting his head against his hand. He fixed his big brown eyes on me, and now, I could watch in detail as he was trying not to burst out laughing. “Am I still too handsome?”

They were there.

Sparks in his irises.

Pretty amused expression on his face.

Temptation that literally radiated from his body.

I rose to lean against my elbow too, I needed to get closer to him. I wanted to look him in the eye as I hissed without hesitation: “You forget I’m not drunk right now!”

Holy crap!

I recognized it; at that moment I was vividly aware of how many inches I´d shortened between us. In an instant, I no longer perceived anything but the corner of my demon’s divine mouth, which rose very slowly into one of his fucking hot crooked smiles.

My heart knew better, it remembered of all the gymnastic tricks, it used to perform in his presence. When his gaze dropped to my lips.

“You´re playing with fire, Dove,” he muttered softly as he narrowed his eyes. Fuck, he kept staring at my mouth as if it was all that ever mattered. As if he had no idea that I was about to lose self-control.

So, how much do I have left?

Ten hours and fifty-six minutes?

And I have to endure it, don’t I?

Without psychological harm, right?

“Of course,” I smiled sweetly at him. “Did you forget I love adrenalin?”

He took a sharp breath. All the lust of the world, he offered it to me in his one piercing gaze. I saw the fire burning in his irises as his eyes found mine again.

“Larissa,” he said my name. His voice…, damn! It deepened, it roughened as if he was standing on exactly the same line of self-control as I did. As if he was about to cross it. “Adrenalin will widen your pupils, speed up your breathing, your heart will want to jump out of your chest and your heart rate will rise to critical values.”

He rose his other hand to cup my face. He ran his thumb over my lips, and I could feel it. The total darkness conquering my brain.

“I remember in detail the moment you first told me this, you know. The difference between then and now are the barriers I’ve lost in meantime.”

Those few inches, dividing us, were my last salvation. The last few inches still prevented me from losing my mind. And suddenly I was falling into hell, I was sentenced to be forever damned, as he erased them without hesitation. He offered me all his captivating charisma on a silver tray as he leaned to me.

“So, here´s a little advice from me,” he whispered. “Be careful. Be very careful of what you wish for. Because at this very moment, I´m thinking of at least ten thousand ways to get you into such a state. And believe me when I say I’m tempted to show you all of them.”

No.

I wasn’t falling, not at all. I had been in hell for a long time, and right now I just sold my soul to one of his demons when I felt the gentle touch of his nose on my face. His breath burned my skin, it burned my mouth as his fingers dug into my hair to pull me closer.

“Damn,” he cursed, he stiffened, he took a deep breath. And he laid back on his bed.

“Make yourself comfortable, Dove,” he said with a pretty amused voice. He got up and headed for his locker room. “It´s probably gonna take a while till the jeans fit me. This will be a really fun day.”

Ten o’clock, fifty-five minutes.

Good luck, girl.

Good luck.

My inspiration for writing Eric´s POV - RZA feat Xavier Naidoo – I´ve Never Seen (original version - Ich Kenne Nichts)

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