Falling Awake (Unbreakable #2)
11.

“Lara?”

I almost chocked as Tamara’s voice, coming from somewhere behind me surprised me. I ran downstairs, I headed to the kitchen, as I urgently needed to deal with the sudden dryness in my mouth. And of course, it didn’t seem like a good idea to stay with that provocateur alone in his room.

“Gosh! I’m so glad to see you again!” she threw me off balance even more. Because she sounded honest. Because she hugged me. “You´re gonna stay, right? Cause it´s pure torture to watch Eric being so depressive.”

I put the half-full glass on the table, not wanting to tempt my swallowing reflex anymore. Yet even the following moment of silence didn’t help me to figure out what I should answer. Or what I wanted to answer at all.

Will I stay?

Or rather not?

“Hello, little sis,” the boy she was talking about joined us. I saw him enter the kitchen, and at that second, I was simply grateful that he saved me from having to deal with my emotional dilemmas once more.

But…

Yeah.

There it was again.

Everything I´d run away from a while ago.

My demon who messed up everything in my life; the envoy from my personal hell approached us with a roguish smile on that beautiful face. He looked divine in that damn dark blue hoodie of his. He obviously liked to wear it. Still, it was nothing compared to how much I loved when he wore it.

I cursed inwardly. I scolded a half of my brain, the more dominant one that was drooling shamelessly over the view in front of me. And my stupid heart even encouraged it. I tried to collect myself, I swear I tried hard to pull myself together. But I failed epically. Because he wasn’t looking at his sister. Although he greeted her, his mesmerizing eyes were fixed on me.

“Eric,” the totally typical Lestrad´s teasing tone in Tammy´s voice couldn’t be overheard, “where have you been all night?”

Oh, gosh!

Wait…

Wha…?

I didn’t even have time to blush because of her question. I just yelled in surprise when he tossed me over his shoulder without warning.

“I guess it must have been heaven,” he replied, and that was it. He simply turned and headed out of the kitchen, not letting me go. “Have a wonderful day, little sis.”

“Dammit Eric, let me down!” Hammering his back with my fists didn’t help me. And my attempt to get down somehow seemed pretty funny. At least he found it funny. I assumed he was having a lot of fun as his body didn’t stop shaking with laughter all the time.

I got my wish, he put me down as soon as we found ourselves…, well somewhere. I´d never visited these parts of their palace before, I kinda caught myself staring at everything with my mouth open. The narrow corridor my demon leaded me through was completely made of stone, giving me the impression that the foundations of this place were really old.

I wanted to ask, I don´t know, I was pretty impressed. However, Eric just kept pulling me with him, now holding my hand gently, as if I could easily get lost. And I… Fuck! I was left speechless anyway. I wished I had time to prepare myself for it. I wished I had time to take a deep breath at least. But no. He turned right and suddenly; I was standing in a huge garage.

“Holy crap! Bentley? Jaguar?” I didn’t even know where to look first. “Is that Aston Martin?”

And my demon burst out laughing probably at the expression on my face. I didn’t reproach him, I couldn’t. I must have looked comical.

“Passion for fast cars runs in the family, Dove,” he shrugged casually.

“Then why did you decide for Porsche?” He woke curiosity inside me. Because judging by the gems around me, I understood that his choice wasn’t influenced by the price.

“It was love at first sight,” my demon didn’t hesitate to answer. “She´s simply my girl, my Babygirl.”

I remembered. As I looked up, as I looked him in the eye, I recalled the evening at Scotch´s when he first told me about her. And yes, I could see the same tenderness, reflecting in his irises when he talked about her right now. But I understood him, I loved his Babygirl as well. I loved the moments I could drive her with my demon next to me.

She was like a calculating mistress who demands attention and offers literally a ride of life instead. Untamed and wild, she often kept challenging me.

It wasn’t possible to overlook the corner of his lips, which rose into a crooked smile as I sat down next to him. It wasn’t possible not to enjoy the satisfied happy expression on his face. And I would have enjoyed it, dammit, I would have enjoyed his company. If I hadn’t made that fatal mistake.

I let him drive.

I mean, not that I had much of a choice, as he didn’t want to reveal where we were heading to. Yet not even the first ten minutes passed, and I already regretted my decision.

An hour later, it got much, much worse.

My favorite rock station was playing on the radio, but I couldn’t listen to it. All I could focus on was the amazing sound of the engine. All I could think about was the boy who´d brought his Babygirl to life. Yes, the girl literally came to life.

She was like a calculating mistress indeed, yet she obeyed his slightest touch. Whatever he wanted from her, she didn’t hesitate to offer it to him on the silver tray. It was as if he´d tamed her. As if she knew very well that he would give her what she longed for. He controlled her so precisely. With only a touch.

Damn, just a touch of his.

It was chills, followed by an absolute heat, maybe tingle and than goosebumps that he made me feel this morning. He made me feel it all at once as he slid his hand over my body. My cheeks, my neck, my arms, every single spot he marked with his fingers. He conquered them, he vanquished them, he subdued them, they belonged only to him. And when he kissed me on my shoulder, when he pressed his mesmerizing lips to my skin, I hoisted white flags and surrendered voluntarily.

Just like now.

The speedometer in front of him indicated over 130 mph as he stepped on the gas. He was sitting relaxed beside me as if he just achieved his own, exactly the way he wanted everything to be.

“I always get what I want Princess,” I heard his voice in my head, and suddenly I desperately wished I could forget about it right away. Because I didn’t stop it, I couldn’t stop it. The only idea that filled my every thought.

What it would be like if he wanted me.

If he pulled me close. Without any warning. Without asking. If he dug his fingers into my hair to tilt me, if he usurped my lips. If there wasn’t a bit of subtlety, just the passion he would offer me. If it were my thighs where he would put his hands on. If he ripped the clothes off me right away. If he didn’t let me breathe, if all my moans belonged to him.

If I got lost in him. In his captivity, in his desire to control. If I simply succumbed, letting myself be overwhelmed. What would be the moment like if I was his?

Because yes, I was pretty sure that the hot envoy from hell next to me had the power to control every girl with only one his touch. That he had the power to make them obey him. Just like his Babygirl did.

“What are you thinking about, Dove?”

Fuck!

I swear, even the explosion of The Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant wasn’t as tragic as my attempt to turn away from him and hide my embarrassed reaction. Fields hardened by winter, naked trees, a little what was left of snow. All I was interested in right now was the view outside the window.

“Em, um, nothing,” I was quite proud of the indifferent tone I managed to speak out with.

In vain.

“And that’s why you’re blushing?”

My escape maneuver was worth a shit. One brief glance at him was enough for me to notice it, to understand that. Suddenly my demon had to try hard to suppress a laugh.

“Are we there yet?” My attempt to change the subject failed as his shoulders began to shake.

“Can I at least hope that it had something to do with me?”

Damn!

“Concentrate on driving!!!” I poked him three times and my demon couldn’t stand it anymore and burst into a loud guffaw.

I refused to look at anything else but the vast fields we were passing. They were covered with mud as if it was life-giving oxygen they lacked to wake up from sleep.

I knew what it was like.

How many times was I out of breath? How many times did this boy deprive me of even the last molecule that was left in my lungs? How many times did his breath burn my skin? Just like back then when he whispered straight into my lips about how much he wanted to kiss me.

Would it be the same as the evening at the cottage, or would it taste completely different if he did it again? If he kissed me on the edge of his self-control. If he made me want him madly. If he made me beg, if he made me long for his touch.

Actually…, yes. I could only blame myself for all of this.

“Dammit, Princess! I swear, you’ll be my death one day,” he muttered.

I didn’t have to look at him, I couldn’t do it either. Still, I was sure that instead of watching the road in front of us, he was watching me again. My blushing face to be exact. The already small space of his car shrank at least twice, and I was very well aware of every single deep breath he took.

Staying seated on one place was suddenly a huge challenge for me, as I had a constant need to move somehow. This was pure torment. A million times worse than a month ago. Because now I knew better. Now I knew how his kisses tasted like.

I prayed; I had never prayed so sincerely that I could get out of a Porsche. Out of a PORSCHE. And when he parked in the ancient center of a small seaside town in twenty minutes, I literally jumped out of the car as if there was no more oxygen left to survive.

The cool sea air helped me, I cleared my head and calmed my hormones. It was no longer such suffering when Eric grabbed my hand to lead me through the narrow alleys until we found ourselves in the middle of a market square. In the middle of a huge market square.

I saw the smile that appeared on his face as soon as I lit up. From vegetables, fruits, nuts, fish, cotton candy and everything possible food through jewelry, shoes, clothing to electrical engineering, LPs, DVDs, crafts, or furniture. I felt like I could buy anything there.

Oh, I loved these events!

As well as the way he pulled me closer to him, saying that he had to watch over me so I wouldn’t get lost in the crowd.

We walked through all those stalls selling goods. But despite of beautiful stuff around me, I perceived his hand, his thumb drawing rings onto my palm. I couldn’t help but notice the fire in his eyes as we watched how the swords are being forged, as he told me about it. It was impossible not to enjoy his gentle gestures. He didn’t forget to tuck my hair behind my ear every time the wind messed it up.

He was right. With that sunny sky it was really a stunning day. An absolutely ideal Saturday afternoon. And I already had a bag full of purchases when I decided to succumb once again.

I’d always had a weakness for handmade jewelry, and those little silver oak leaves entwined in a bracelet looked too charming to resist. I reached into my pocket to grab change however I didn’t manage to buy it.

“What are you doing?” I frowned when Eric handed the seller a few coins. Not my coins.

“You like it,” he shrugged casually and turned straight to me. As if he expected me to protest vehemently. As if he knew we were about to argue.

And I wanted to. I really wanted to; I already opened my mouth when all my sensible arguments fell into oblivion. Because I spotted three girls standing behind him. Three Barbies that couldn’t be ignored. They were undressing my demon with their eyes.

Holy crap!

Do I mind?

“Fine,” I gave up. Because it didn’t make sense, because I didn’t stand a chance against his huge ego. Because I didn’t concentrate as the girls pissed me off. “It’s not a diamond necklace.”

And the hot envoy from the most torturous center of hell immediately gained my attention back.

“What?” I looked at him suspiciously when he choked. When he scratched his hair and out of the blue, only the stone tiles of the sidewalk under our feet interested him.

“What’s going on?” I had to ask again. Seeing him so uncertain couldn’t be overlooked by any chances.

“Em, uhm,” I swear, he was disconcerted! He was seriously thrown off balance. “You don’t check the drawers of your bedside-table very oft, do you?”

What the hell?

“I’m sorry, Princess,” he showed me the most perfect version of innocent puppy eyes as I froze. His deep voice suddenly sounded sweeter than honey. “It was a gift, I returned it to you.”

I took a deep breath as if it might help me compensate for the anger that was pushing out of me quite tenaciously. I had no idea what turned me on more. His stubbornness, or those girls who kept giggling as they didn’t take their eyes off my...

Off your what?

Seriously Lara, who is he to you?

Why do you call him yours at all?

If he wanted, he could choose any of them. And you wouldn’t have the right to protest. Even to say something

Damn!

What is it?

I’m being jealous?

“Alright,” I growled defeated. I couldn’t look at him, I rather pretended I wanted to fasten my new bracelet.

“What?” I surprised him; I knew that. But I surprised myself as well. “No swearing? No remorse? No speech?”

Fuck, why are they still staring at him?

“I’ll simply give it back to you!” I snorted nervously as I couldn’t snap the carabiner with one hand. As I was upset by the rush of insecure emotions.

And my demon burst out laughing.

He approached me to help me with the bracelet and I could observe them in detail. Those amused sparks, rising in his eyes as he leaned toward me. “Dove, are you looking at the drooling girls behind me?”

“No!” I blinked as he figured out the reason of my bad temper. Nevertheless, I immediately denied it. Mainly in front of myself.

The corners of his lips twitched just before they formed a teasing smile. It was clear to me that he didn’t believe me at all. But I returned him his smile anyway. “I’m looking at something that´s worth my attention.”

I found my salvation, I heard it, I saw it right in front of me. A few feet behind those Barbie dolls. And I was no longer interested in anything else.

I had no idea how he knew what I was thinking of, maybe he heard the tuning too. His smile lost that teasing taste, instead he took my breath away. When he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me possessively closer to him so he could accompany me to that little guitar exposition.

I’d say he did it on purpose, that his gesture wasn’t quite innocent. But I didn’t want to ask about the reasons that led him to do so. I didn’t want to know whether he was just trying to calm me down. I rather fantasied that it was his way of letting the drooling dolls know that he was here with me.

Six seconds.

It took exactly six seconds before I completely forgot about them. So many guitars together, I swear I had no idea where to look first. And when my demon explained to me that it was a traditional high-profile event and therefore an opportunity for shops and businesses to advertise, I realized that the musical instruments were really as good as they looked.

“Dove, will you play something for me?”

I stiffened, I tensed, I completely froze.

That question, his request, the tenderness shining from his mesmerizing eyes made so hard for me to catch a breath.

Because my repressed pain over the loss of my biggest dream persisted in me. I still couldn’t get over it. And the farther my Balian was from me, the more unfulfillable his plea seemed to be.

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” I shook my head desperately. It bothered me, it suddenly bothered me terribly that I couldn’t make him happy. That I wasn’t able to suppress that frustration, to overcome this fucking block in me.

“That´s alright,” he reassured me with a magical smile. As if he understood. It was as if he knew how I felt, what emotions the idea of ​​a guitar in my arms evoked in me.

“And what if I play something for you?”

My eyebrows arched hearing his offer, hearing his proposal. I guess, my curious expression must have been an adequate answer as my demon said nothing more. He just addressed the guy who was obviously in charge there. He got clear approval when asked about the possibility of trying those guitars. And I had to admit, damn, I had to admit to myself that he impressed me when he picked up a Les Paul Gibson. This choice of his itself made me realize that my demon knew what he was doing.

He sat down on the curb, he took the guitar into his arms, and it didn’t take him even a minute to tune it. And I realized that he didn’t hold the instrument in his hands for the first time. Or for the second time. That this wasn’t just about trying to distract me. It slowly dawned on me that my demon knew very well what he was doing.

He fixed his deep gaze on me, he pierced me with it for a moment. Right before he closed his beautiful eyes. And then he started playing.

No… Hell no!

He didn’t give me even three seconds to collect myself. My mouth immediately dropped from astonishment and surprise. It was no duck soup he´d chosen to play. He absolutely threw me off balance, as it was tones of Gary Moore’s blues song I heard coming out under his fingers.

I had problems myself while learning to play it, and it took him another three seconds to give me goosebumps. The melody sounded so breathtaking! I was fucking sure that this must have been at least the ten thousandth time he held the guitar in his hands. After all, he played as well as Joel!

And the world around me suddenly ceased to exist.

The people who stopped by vanished. The sounds and noises around me disappeared. The sky and the wind faded away; the salty smell of the sea evaporated. The light was gone, there wasn’t even darkness anymore.

Only my demon kept playing.

A real demon with the power to completely daze me, to entice me. With every single beautiful tone coming from under his hand, he offered me everything I had ever loved. And in the most perfect, most stunning melody, he laid it at my feet.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him; I couldn’t help but notice. Even though he kept his eyelids closed, the passion he was playing with reflected the longing of the song in expression of his face, in his every move. It was as if he knew, as if he understood what the song was talking about. It was as if he felt exactly same thing. As if the lyrics was written for him. As if he´d never done anything else but playing.

I´m sorry… I lied.

Because if I ever claimed that he was captivating, I truly did lie. I had no idea what captivity was. Until this moment when he spoke to me through music. Through the tones of the guitar in his arms that touched my heart. They intertwined to take root somewhere deep inside me, and I knew I would never forget it.

There he was.

There he was sitting.

The boy who turned my life upside-down.

Who looked at me like no other. Who could make my day with only his beautiful smile. How many times he took me into his arms for no reason? How many times did he caress me? How many times did he tuck my hair behind my ear? How many times did he take my breath away? How many nights did I spend in his embrace, listening to his calm breathing beside me? How many times did he make me laugh, how many times did he tease me, make fun of me?

How many times did he protect me, including my own nightmares? How many times did I feel absolute happiness and safety with him? Where are those days when he was so close to me? How many times did I forget about everything I considered as important?

Yes, he made me reconsider of what I truly cared about. Just to replace out he was in first place.

The boy who was sitting in front of me now.

Who crept into my dreams and made me want to never let him go again.

He confused my head, conquered my heart and stole the keys to my happiness.

He made me let him get closer to me than I ever let anyone else.

My demon.

My best friend.

My soulmate.

Right now, with a guitar in his arms, he was offering me engulfing passion, alluring temptation, devastating desire. And I couldn’t resist it.

Not when he looked up at me.

I succumbed, I succumbed to him without any further hesitation. I grabbed another Gibson guitar that was already in tune. I sat down next to him. It took me two or three tones until I found the right moment, and then I joined him. The breathtaking smile that beautified his face was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes.

My demon kept playing and I played with him. I played, letting the sounds of my guitar intertwine with his. As if we were one body, one soul.

And suddenly, I could imagine it perfectly. What it´d be like if he touched me. What it´d feel like if he held me the way he held the guitar. What it´d be like if he played with me the way he played with those strings. Everything I felt, everything I wanted, I told him through music.

Until the second we finished the song together.

My heart was beating too slowly, as if it was in tune with the whole ballad. For a few more of its beats, I enjoyed that moment. And when I looked at him again, there was nothing else there. No marketplace, no stalls, no people. All that was left were his eyes studying me, only the tenderness that shone from them.

And I saw it.

He knew very well about the fear that persisted in me; about the pain I was trying hard to bury. He didn’t want to work it out for me, he didn’t want to force me to fight it. He just wanted to stand by my side when I faced it. And for that, I couldn’t be more grateful to him.

“Dove,” he whispered, bringing me back to reality, “let me buy a guitar for you.”

I frowned. Well… I don’t know, I kinda didn’t understand him. Or to be more precisely, I rather didn’t want to understand him.

“Please, forget this time about the price, about money. I´ve got enough of it and what is it for when I can’t even make someone I care about happy?”

Fuck!

“It’s not about money, Eric,” I squeezed his hand gently. I didn’t want him to explain my attitude in a wrong way. “I really appreciate your offer; I swear I do. I just don’t want another guitar. Although it might sound silly, I´d feel like I was cheating on Balian. I can´t. Thank you, but I can’t let you to do it.”

“Then I’ll buy it for myself,” he didn’t give up. “And whenever you want to play, I’ll be happy to lend it to you. That’s how I can at least hope to see you more often at my place.”

“Don’t do that,” I shook my head in disapproval. Because yes, it was out of the question. I was almost certain that if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t even consider buying it. I’d never seen him play before; I didn’t even know…

“Damn!” I barked as soon as it dawned on me. As soon as I thought of it. “You can play the guitar?! Just so you know, I’m not talking to you!”

He lowered his eyebrows. I knew he wanted an explanation, and I didn’t wait for him to ask for it. “You never told me about it! You can play the guitar; you can play the most important instrument in my life and I didn’t know about it!”

His shoulders dropped guiltily, but it was still one of his stunning smiles that enchanted me. “I’m sorry, Princess. There are a lot of things I haven’t told you yet. And I think it’s high time to fix it. At least what I can tell you.”

And suddenly, just like that, I was willing to negotiate.

“Fine,” I muttered. “I won’t talk to you for the next half hour.”

He laughed; my demon burst into a guffaw as he winked at me suspiciously. “I surrender and accept my punishment. Even though I don’t believe you manage to hold it.”

OK. I didn’t mean it; I was just kidding. However, the clearly challenge coming from the tone of his voice forced me to reconsider my opinion. I crossed my arms on my chest without saying a word and my demon… No, it wasn’t good how he smiled at me.

“Fine,” he repeated after me, strange flames flashing in the brown of his eyes. I swear, they shone utterly. “This way you make it easier for me.”

I understood, I realized what I got involuntarily involved in. Right after he got up and just announced to the guy with the guitars: “I take it.”

That cunning conman.

He deceived me!

He challenged me on purpose! He did it because he knew I wouldn’t break my word. That I would remain silent. He wanted me not to speak, not to protest. And now I had no choice but to watch quietly as he was buying a guitar.

“Dove,” he looked at me with amusement all over his face. “I’ll assume you agree to a little walk.”

I looked in the direction he was pointing to, the sidewalk leading directly to the cliff. I expected a wonderful view from there and immediately agreed at least with a nod.

Actually, I punished myself more.

On the way to the car, where he wanted to put away his new guitar first, we stopped at the last stall. And out of the blue a cap landed on my head. I took a deep breath, I had to do so, as the idea of him spending even more money because of me reflected on my increased blood pressure. But try to protest when you swore not to speak.

I wanted to take it off, something, somehow. I wanted to let him know that I disagree with it. But my attempt to raise my hands ended in fiasco; he trapped them in his large palms instead. I was planning to slip away from him just to replace myself pressed against his chest a second later.

“Princess,” he looked at me from above with a reproachful expression, “there´s a sharp wind blowing up there. You´ll be cold.”

Damn his eyes, how I loved his deep eyes! Something tender was reflected in them as he brushed a strand of my hair away from my forehead gently and adjusted the cap on my head.

“Let me take care of you,” he added. And I might have melted, I might have forgiven him everything if his words hadn’t been followed by his crooked smile. “Unless you have some radical objections. I am listening.”

Fuck, that was such a stupid idea!

I frowned. But by no means I intended to make him happy and speak. Half an hour hadn’t passed yet. Yet I still opened my mouth and at least stuck my tongue out at him.

He took a sharp breath, letting his gaze fall on my mouth. He narrowed his eyes as he kept staring, suddenly it was only my lips he was looking at. As if all he wanted was to touch them. As if they were everything, he´d ever wanted.

And I froze.

“Dammit, Lara,” he said. He whispered because he didn’t need to speak louder. Not when he leaned toward me. And at the second when he ran his nose through mine, I shivered. “The line of my self-control I told you about two days ago didn’t disappear. Tease me further and I guarantee you I´ll cross it today.”

It wasn’t there, I didn’t replace the slightest hint of amusement in his face as he pulled away from me. And I was suddenly not sure which of us would lose their self-control first.

🙕🙕🙕