Stuffing myself with chocolate ice cream with a ton of whipped cream? Divine.
Lying in a bathtub, in hot water, with burning candles and the scent of vanilla all around me? In a word, amazing.
Feeling the gentle raindrops caressing my skin after a hot August day and then dancing in the rain? Awesome.
Lying in bed on a Saturday morning, curled up in a soft and warm duvet? Simply flawless.
But driving Eric’s Porsche on an almost empty highway was an absolutely perfect feeling of freedom.
The girl knew exactly what I needed.
I turned on the radio and fell in love with my demon´s music at the light-speed. Even though I was surprised. Because I would never have guessed he listened to this type of music. I was sure it was Marylin Manson who sang the great song. I would recognize his voice even in a coma, and I couldn’t help it. I kept replaying this same song maybe a hundred times in a row. After the tenth time, I was already singing aloud with him, only secretly hoping that the hot envoy from hell didn’t have a hidden camera somewhere here. I had to admit that he had a brilliant taste of music.
And of cars too.
It was plain as the day that the Babygirl belonged to him. With every touch, I felt she was used to being controlled by a demon. That she listened only to him. She lured me, provoked me, she urged me to step on the gas, to let her take over. And in exchange, she offered me a total mind-relax. She brought me to my knees, and I completely fell for her.
I wanted to scream, and then I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry for joy. At one moment, I just wanted to touch her softly. And at the other one, I wanted to try to get the best out of her. And for these moments, I felt free in every part of my mind, in every part of my body.
The girl was fucking amazing.
I almost choked as I noticed that the speedometer needle had risen to 150mph. And she growled at me angrily as I slowed her down. She was very greedy, but she also gave me everything I longed for that night.
I stopped at a small gas station to refuel. I decided to buy a chocolate and something to drink as well. I headed to the cash desk to pay but then I noticed it. I found a really pretty, atypically shaped glass bottle filled with sea salt in the gift department. I didn’t hesitate to buy it too as the thought ran through my head. I knew exactly where I would go.
Thirty minutes later, I was standing on a beach, on that one special beach, searching for the Big Dipper. In a freezing night, the stars, shining so bright looked incredibly beautiful. And the song of the sea was just irresistible.
I emptied the content of the charming bottle and instead, I filled the first third with sand. I managed to replace few stones and I filled the rest of it with seawater. I was forced to take off my boots and roll up my jeans, so I didn’t hesitate for too long and immediately returned to the car, turning the heating back on. I reached out for my phone to check the time. The clock on my screen showed eleven-fifty-three and I had a message.
Eric: Princess, are you okay?
I didn’t stop them; the corners of my lips automatically rose into a huge smile. Because as precisely as my demon was able to tease me, he was also able to make my heart pound and be damn cute. I don’t know why, I don’t, but I felt a little delighted that he was thinking of me. That he needed to make sure that I wasn’t lying somewhere in the middle of the road, crippled.
Me: I´m OK. Are you still watching soccer? What time does it end? What about Jim?
Eric: In about half an hour. Where are you? Jim has no idea; he still thinks you’re asleep. Don’t worry, I have your back.
It made me raise my eyebrows. But no, I knew he wasn’t kidding as soon as I remembered that my uncle had to work tomorrow. Although he didn’t have to get up as early as on a normal workday, I was sure he didn’t want to stay up all night either.
Me: I’ll try to come home as soon as possible then. And thank you.
Eric: I can be patient, Dove. I can wait. Just be careful.
I shook my head at his proposal. Because it was out of the question. Under no circumstances did I mean to keep him waiting only because of my own stupidity. Because I was stupid. Because I didn’t realize I had to watch the time.
Me: I have an idea. Take my car and go home, the keys are in my jacket in the hallway. I´ll come to your place. We can switch cars there.
It was the best solution I could think of right now and I hoped he wouldn’t protest. I started the engine again, I wanted to drive off as soon as he agrees. But the devilish envoy obviously had other plans.
Eric: That´s not a very good idea, Princess. Once you cross the threshold of my house, I won´t be able to let you go.
And I burst out laughing.
Me: Why? What could we possibly do in the middle of the night? My hoodie was already lying on your floor. Maybe we could replace out what the rest of my clothes look like, lying there.
Eric: Dammit! Stop it! Do you know how long it took me to calm down? Keep pushing and I guarantee you that the ride won´t be your wildest experience today.
Me: You think that the ride was my wildest experience today? You’re pretty naive.
Eric: No?
Me: I think it was exactly the moment when you dug your fingers into my hair and slipped your tongue into my mouth.
I came to my senses.
I realized what I was doing, what I was tapping. That I was completely crazy.
The second the message was sent.
In that damn second when it was too late.
Exactly the second his reply lit up the screen of my phone.
Eric: Larissa.
Eric: Just so you know...
Eric: I’m waiting for you.
My face dropped to my palms, I rubbed it, as if it might help me erase the last few minutes somehow. But no, nothing like that happened. As soon as I looked at my cell phone again, the damn text messages were still shining there.
Me: I’m sorry.
I prayed inwardly that my attempt to apologize would succeed. In vain.
Eric: That won’t help you at all.
Eric: Come home.
Great!
Oh, goodness gracious, girl! C´mon! Are you perceiving the reality at all? You wanted to kill him in the morning. Then you kissed him, just to swear right away that this whole thing has to end. Then you needed literally a super strength to control yourself and not to jump on him in Jim’s living room. And now, you’re still provoking him?
Really, Lara? Seriously?
Damn, I knew it.
I knew very well that I was the one who had crossed the line today. That this time I could only blame myself. But no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I couldn’t lie to myself.
I was stirring up a hornets’ nested deliberately. Because ending up in Eric´s arms and having his mesmerizing lips pressed to mine was all I longed for. Basically… Yes, I was offering him my heart to break it again. On a silver plate.
The big Moon was looking at me from behind the window, the stars above me beautified this freezing night. I enjoyed the ride home properly. I enjoyed every remaining mile and every second I could still spend with his Babygirl. And it tore my soul completely apart to see the highway exit, announcing that it was coming to an end.
The end of the best ride of my life. The end of my freedom.
I sent a text message to my demon again as I entered the town and then I mentally began to prepare to face him. That I would have to return the car to him.
I parked, turned off the engine, and just sighed heavily. I didn’t want to get out. I didn’t want to leave her. Because she truly was exceptional.
She was like a calculating mistress who demands attention and offers literally a ride of life instead. But you mustn’t fall in love with her. Because at that moment, you fall for her helplessly and you will never be able to detach yourself from her properly. More may come, millions of more may come, but no other will be like her. Seeking a solace, these poor replacements will only remind you of what you had and of what you´ll never replace again. That was Babygirl like. Untamed and wild. And tonight, she really challenged me.
And I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her.
“Girl,” I muttered quietly. For the last time, I ran my fingers gently through the dashboard. I allowed myself to lean my forehead against her steering wheel. “I think I love you.”
I put on my sweater and grabbed the glass bottle. I took a deep breath before I really got of the car. I had the feeling I might need it as there was a demon who I was about to face to.
He was waiting for me outside, by the tree where he´d given me his car keys three hours ago.
My heart started to pound at an insane speed as soon as I saw his silhouette. I was convinced that I would have to suck it all up now. That he wouldn’t just let it go. I thought of raising my hands in a defensive gesture. To let him know that I was giving up. However, the glass bottle I was holding didn’t allow me to do so.
My mouth went dry as he approached me. I swear, I was mentally preparing for anything. Yet, again and again, perhaps for a trillionth time since I knew him, he surprised me.
Because as soon as he stepped out of the shadow, the streetlamp illuminated his tender expression. He didn’t look angry, or teasingly.
He was moved.
And I was speechless.
“You enjoyed it,” he smiled beautifully, as if he knew exactly how awesome time I had with his girl. “I can see it, Princess. You’re glowing.”
But he was glowing as well. As if he was enjoying seeing me like this. As if he was truly happy that he could have done it for me. That he could have participated on making that big fat smile I had on my face right now.
Holy crap!
Provocation, non-provocation, limit, non-limit, I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care what I´d already done today. I didn’t care what I shouldn’t do. I didn’t care at all. Without further hesitation, I just hugged him. And I meant honestly every single word that came out of my mouth: “I totally enjoyed the ride! Thank you, Eric, thank you for that!”
And my demon didn’t hesitate either.
He wrapped his arms around my back, and I was sure, he was smiling as he exhaled. “That´s everything I wanted to hear.”
He stroked my hair his own demonic way. The way that immediately arouse those annoying army of ants. And when they started to sprint chaotically all over my body, I knew it was high time to pull myself away from his alluring arms.
For the sake of both of us.
“Actually, I have something for you,” I began uncertainly. And looking at him didn’t really make the thinking part easier. Or breathing. Or my existence.
“What?” He raised his eyebrows. The smile didn’t fade from his fucking tempting lips, no, no way. More to that, he suddenly looked like incredibly cute. As if he couldn’t believe that I said what I said. “You have something for me?”
Oh, shit!
If he was angry, or furious, or at least laughing and teasing me, it would be so much more bearable for me. But the way he looked at me now dazed me more than a bottle of Jack Daniels. Even the stars I admired an hour ago didn’t sparkle as much as his irises. I couldn’t tell what I saw in them. Still, it almost brought me to my knees.
“It’s pretty silly,” I admitted straight.
Because yes… A bottle with sand and seawater was a silly idea. I guess, I regretted the thought of giving it to him at this very moment. But it was Valentine’s Day, I also wanted to give him a gift. And now, here, that was all I had.
“Count on it…,”
“Oh, come on, Dove! Come on!” he moaned eagerly. His curiosity didn’t help me not to stutter. “What do you have for me? Where is it? Here? Show me! C´mon, show me!”
It made me laugh, I burst out laughing at his expression. Because he suddenly looked like a little boy who knew that he was about to get his dream present.
“I was thinking of you,” I confessed. “I just want you to know that I appreciate the moments when you made me laugh. Happy Valentine’s Day, Eric. And… Thank you for the roses, they are beautiful.”
It took my breath away. Over and over again, for the trillion first time. How beautifully he could smile. And he was smiling after my poor speech. Damn! For the sake of my mental health, I rather didn’t prolong that moment and I put the bottle into his hands.
He looked at it, he studied it, and I could guess the exactly second when he understood what it was. His breath stuttered, his eyes widened, and it was heartbreaking emotion that filled them right away.
Still… Well, I was pretty nervous. Because it was a demented idea. He´d filled my room with flowers, and I was just giving him salt water. And sand.
But my demon laughed.
“Dammit, Lara! How do you do that?” He whispered. “How come you always manage to surprise me? I love that beach! I fell in love with it the moment I found it. I’ve been there countless times just to replace peace. And now, I’ll always have a piece of it with me. Thanks to you.”
What?
Wait…?
I didn’t manage to understand the meaning of his words. Like I really didn’t as his scent shut down my brain. He knocked out all my brain cells, it hit me hard when without asking, without warning, he pulled me into his arms. And it basically didn’t matter. Because he hugged me so tight that I still wasn’t able to breathe.
“I wanted to give you something that would express at least a little how beautiful you are to me. And you only spent small change, and yet you gave me a gift which all my money can´t compensate.”
Yes, it was quite hard to believe that he meant it. But I was still pleased with every word he said to me. I was happy that he liked my preset, that it conjured a smile on his face. And most of all, I appreciated that it meant something to him.
“Thank you,” he muttered in my ear, “I can’t even describe how much grateful I am.”
Such a strange, nice warm spilled into my chest, and enveloped my pounding heart and lungs. I wanted to smile too; I would smile with him. If he let me. But no, in an instant, the demonic envoy from my personal hell reminded me of how its flames burn when I suddenly felt his lips. He pressed them against my neck, he kissed me, he didn’t hesitate to taste my skin. And the warm grew into a fire, I was suddenly burning from the inside.
Because he ran with his hand down my back.
Because he was caressing me.
Because he held me.
It had nothing to do with joy anymore, the way my heart pounded now. And it kept pounding, it was literally going crazy in my chest. I could perceive every single fucking inch that divided us as he looked up at me. As he looked into my eyes instead. He was staring somewhere into my soul, just to let me recognize the desire that grew in his irises. It did, I knew that. His sight dropping to my lips, my sweater he clenched in his palm, only assured me of it.
“Do you want to go to bed already?”
The boundless calm of a February night, the silence that fell between us, and he interrupted them with a single question. With the same tenderness that dominated his expression, he ran his fingers through my cheek.
“Let me kidnap you, Dove,” he whispered. “Run away with me into the night.”
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