Falling Awake (Unbreakable #2)
29.

I…

Wait…

What?

“I was dying, I had no strength anymore, and you saved me by passing your energy on me.” His shoulders dropped as if all his life was fading away from him again. “And suddenly, it was you who were dying.”

Damn!

So, there was the whole problem!

That´s why he looked like hell yesterday!

Yes, I was fully aware of the seriousness of the situation. I didn’t take it easy, I realized that I could have died. But I realized the other thing as well. I would do it again. If somebody turned back the time and I could make the decision once more, I would do it for him. Without hesitation.

“So, I saved your life,” I smiled as he looked at me. “And then you saved mine.”

And my demon shook his head in disapproval. “Don’t you dare to scare me like this again!”

“Said the right one,” I frowned, not forgetting to add a little rebuke to the tone of my voice.

However, the boy who owned the keys to my heart lowered his eyebrows at me as well, and for a brief instant I almost didn’t suppress the urge to stick my tongue out at him. Yet I held myself back, I didn’t want to argue with him as there were more burning issues that needed to be answered.

“How?”

I didn’t have to say anything else. I knew he understood very well what I was interested in when he exhaled heavily for the hundredth time that evening. “Mia transferred a part of my strength back to you. Simply put, she returned your soul back to you.”

I see.

Totally.

Plain as the day.

She just took my soul from somewhere inside him. And she gave it back to me.

Because that’s how it´s usually done.

Well…

Fuck, what?

He laughed, dammit, my demon burst out laughing at my confused expression. And the urge to stick my tongue out at him almost overwhelmed me for the second time.

“Let´s just say there are people who are able…,” he began, but then he got stuck. It seemed as if he couldn’t replace the right words. “They just are able to control or command every source of energy. Or power. Or the elements… Dove, aren’t you hungry? How about the muffin? Or I order a pizza and we could watch a movie. It’s Sunday evening, it’s gonna be just like the old times, right?”

And I couldn’t help but burst out laughing as well.

“Nice try, Eric. Very nice try,” I nodded appreciatively. “But no. You won’t weasel out of this.”

Not when you finally talk!

“If anyone forced me to express my opinion,” I tried to help him a little. To encourage him not to be afraid to speak. “I’d say it sounds like magic.”

And my demon blinked, he raised his eyebrows, and then it was an exemplary confused grimace he flashed me. “If anyone forced me to express my opinion,” irony suddenly shone from him. Irony and a pretty nice sarcasm. “I’d say you’re right.”

Damn!

Really?

Well, yes… I knew that he was different. That everything about him was extraordinary. Yet it hit me like a slap. The idea that the world of magic was real.

“What are your abilities?” I narrowed my gaze, sitting closer to him.

The corners of his lips twitched only to widen into one of his charming smiles. He looked at me, he studied me in detail, and a second later I wished there was just his gaze that was literally bewitching me. But no. I found myself somewhere, far away from reality when he bent down and pressed his lips to my shoulder. And out of the blue, I truly regretted wearing a tank top instead of a T-shirt as I couldn’t properly focus anymore. Because he wrapped his arms around me. Because he ran with his nose up my neck to my ear to whisper softly: “I’ll show you one day. Maybe.”

I didn’t stop it. Even if only to myself, I smiled too. Because if that meant he was finally starting to trust me, I couldn’t wish for anything more.

“Then how do you do it?” Another thing crossed my mind. “How do you recharge your energy? I only assume that no one can pass it on you as it almost killed me.”

And all of a sudden, just like that, the merriment disappeared from the expression of the sinfully beautiful boy next to me.

I had witnessed this reaction of his so many times before to know better. Something was wrong about me asking. Something was wrong with the question itself. If I´d thought he had been struggling with explanations five minutes ago, now I was quite sure I just reached his limit.

He let his eyes fall upon our joined hands, he closed them right after. And then he shocked me when he opened his mouth and muttered: “Sophie.”

Yet, I wasn’t sure what shocked me more.

That he answered at all.

Or the name he said.

And his arms, strengthening grip around my body only convinced me that I didn’t hear wrong. That it wasn’t a bad dream.

“I owe her, Lara,” he said when I remained silent. When I didn’t even move. “Let’s just say that she has a lot in common with Mia, at least in terms of her abilities. Let’s say that Sophie is more powerful. That she’s the only one I know who is able to recharge my strength without being hurt.”

What?

Fuck!

Dear reality…, can you please stop fucking kidding me?

Why, just why it has to be his former girlfriend?

“We have a history; she was once important to me.”

Oh!

Keep talking!

Don’t mind me!

And my bleeding heart!

“But she fell in love, and I didn’t feel the same way. I broke her heart Lara, and yet she´s still willing to help me.”

Out of the completely selfless reasons. Sure.

“I didn’t want to use her, so I offered her a deal. Her strength, her abilities are very tempting for someone like me. Having it means having a great power, and there are many who wouldn’t hesitate to kill her for it. Including Leroy.”

Right!

Monseigneur Leroy.

The icing on a cake.

“Long time before I met you, we made a deal. Her help with recharging of my strength for my protection. That´s why I did it, that´s why I kissed her.”

What?!

“I know now that I made a huge mistake. I probably could have solved that situation in other thousand ways but at that time, I didn’t… I don’t know. I just didn’t realize it. I thought I would kill two birds with one stone by showing Leroy that Sophie is out of his reach and by proving him that there wasn’t any bound between you and me anymore.”

“Is this what you´ve been trying to tell me so relentlessly?” I laughed. Dammit! That must have been the most sarcastic laugh I´d ever managed to get out of my throat. “That´s why you kissed her? What made you think that it would convince me to forget about it?”

And my demon closed his beautiful eyes as his head dropped on his shoulders. Yet, he didn’t hide the desperation, suddenly radiating from his whole body.

“I didn’t think I could convince you, nor did I expect it,” he admitted, letting the hopeless tone of his voice speak for him. “I just wanted to be honest with you. I wanted you to know that the kiss meant nothing to me. I know I made a mistake, Dove. Now, I know that. And I´m terribly sorry for hurting you.”

I freed myself out of his grasp. I had to. Because all of a sudden, I felt as if a bomb had exploded in my brain. I couldn’t think, I had no idea how to deal with it. The boy didn’t just claim his place in my fucking heart, he permanently owned it whole. And I… I would most probably have to share his attention with his ex-girlfriend.

“Princess, please say something.”

His heart-tearing words broke the deathly silence between us. The flow of my unsustainable thoughts as well. I didn’t want to think about it, the memory of those two still hurt. And he just admitted that he was seeing her all the time. At least once a month.

“Scream, shout, scold me. Just don’t be quiet. Please.”

But what?

What was I supposed to tell him?

That although I totally understand his reasons, it still bothers me?

That even though he pretended, even though it was just a business for him, I still can’t stand the idea of him ​​kissing her?

And then what?

After all, I can’t ask him to stop seeing her! Not when she’s the only one who could help him survive.

Damn! Who am I to him?

“I hate it,” I gave him the most honest answer I only could. It overcame me. Under the onslaught of all those torturous thoughts, I laid down, resting my head on his lap.

A brief moment, maybe just a second passed and I felt his fingers, running through my hair. He stroked me gently, perhaps he was trying to calm me down. And fine, it was calming… but it didn’t help this time.

“I’m so terribly sorry, Dove,” he said that one more time.

Damn!

My heart was such a fucking annoying thing! It simply refused to let him go. As if it was made of some kind of high stone walls and the envoy from my personal hell had remained imprisoned between them forever. I could do whatever I wanted, but nothing helped me at all. He really stole my soul.

My best friend.

My demon.

Not much, sweetheart, only your demon stole your soul.

“Has it changed?” He asked quietly. He was still playing with my hair, having no idea how close to an absolute collapse the traitorous thing beneath my ribs replace itself in an instant. “The way you see me?”

Not much, sweetheart, only your demon stole your soul.

I heard it in my mind again and again. I heard Mia´s voice, repeating those words somewhere in my head. Those words she´d told me yesterday. Her words kept spinning in my hemispheres.

Because how…?

I shot up into a sitting position again. Hell, I got up right away, as it hit me. The only thought, the idea, the theory.

Holy crap, how couldn’t I have noticed it already?

He was extraordinary, he himself spoke about supernatural world. He, the boy who was staring at me right now. His irises reflected concern and restlessness as he watched me marching around the room.

But I had to, I had to do something as if it could help me slow down those train of thought, sprinting through my brain.

Only your demon stole your soul.

I never thought that it could be real. For seventeen years, I believed that something like a supernatural world existed only in movies and stories. But there he was, a clear proof that I was wrong. Still sitting on the floor, the boy who turned my world upside-down, was silently waiting for me to calm down.

Your demon stole your soul.

He had tremendous strength, he had too fast reflexes. His eyes…, there was nothing ordinary about his eyes! About the way they could change their color. He jumped off a tree as if it wasn’t 16ft above the ground. He found me in the dark, in a terrible storm, and a moment ago, he talked about magic. Hell, he´s recharging his life strength at full Moon. He could read people´s mind, he had the power to steal the others´ souls! And the girl, she knew him, didn’t she?

Your demon.

Damn!

How the hell…?

The girl, Mia, she knew him, but she didn’t know me. We’d never met before, we´d never talked before. She couldn’t have the slightest idea that I was calling him my demon. Not when I’d never said it out loud in front of anyone.

So why would she call him like that?

I dropped to my knees, I faced him again as the solution of the riddle became clearer and clearer. As it all dawned on me. No, I knew nothing about demons or their abilities, yet I couldn’t be more sure. That there was one real demon sitting in front of me. Now, it was rather fear which dominated his eyes. However, he didn’t move an inch.

And I returned him his gaze.

“Dove,” he whispered. And suddenly, I simply couldn’t stand the misery, screaming from his voice, from the whole expression of his face. “I will totally understand if you want to send me away. I won´t blame you a bit.”

What?

“I always knew I don’t deserve you. After all, I´m d…

“A demon,” I said, interrupting him without thinking. “You´re a demon.”

And the boy who owned my heart got stuck, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

He didn’t burst out laughing, he didn’t look surprised. He didn’t seem to be thrown off balance, he didn’t even try to deny it.

“I was going to say damned as I have no soul,” he smiled sadly, looking again at me. “But yeah, that´s true as well.”

Fuck!

Is it?

Really?

Minutes, hours, days, I couldn’t tell how many of them passed, while we were sitting here, on the floor of my room. I only perceived that one exact second when I truly couldn’t stand the deepening desperation in his eyes. I climbed on him, I sat on his lap, straddling him. And as if he was drowning, he immediately wrapped his arms around me like I was his straw to clutch.

Holy mackerel, those mesmerizing eyes of his!

Did I feel differently about him?

No.

I was sure I didn’t.

“You’re such a dummy,” I exhaled. I finally managed to say something, and even though the corners of his lips twitched, the fear of my reaction still didn’t disappear from his irises.

“You could have told me a long time ago,” I looked him in the eyes, I did it, hoping he would understand that I meant it. “Nothing has changed, nothing at all. I don’t believe there´s something that could make me change my opinion of you.”

“Lara…,” his voice broke as if he didn’t believe me as well. As if he couldn’t believe that something like that was even possible. As if he hadn’t the slightest clue that he was breaking my heart too.

“Eric, I knew you had the power to steal my soul,” I interrupted him again. I had to. He had to realize and remember that I didn’t judge him.

I fucking loved him exactly the way he was.

“I knew it all the time, I knew you are different,” I cupped his face with both of my hand to make him face me. “And yet, I let you in. I never let anyone get as close to me as I let you. I gave you my heart voluntarily.” I said it again. Because he needed to hear it again. Because he needed to remember that as well.

There it still was the seriousness dominated his expression. But when he leaned his forehead against mine, I felt that my words took a huge load off his shoulders.

“I don’t care who or what you are. What´s inside you matters and more than ever, I don’t believe you’re bad for me. I don’t believe that you´re damned. That you have no soul.”

And then it changed.

He took a deep breath as if he needed a brief second. And the misery, the desperation suddenly vanished from his face. Instead, I recognized tenderness, growing in his gaze. He was moved, he was truly moved and at that moment, I just knew my demon had turned my world upside-down in every possible aspect.

“You’re really the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” he whispered. “And I can’t lose you.”

He finally smiled; my real demon conjured up one of his most magical smiles. And I was simply enjoying it as he pulled me back into his arms.

“I want peace, Princess.”

Uhm…

What?

Oh.

Right!

Although I almost immediately recalled his proposal from last night, he managed to surprise me again. I didn’t get him yesterday and I didn’t get him now as well. What he meant by peace, what he was suggesting. However, the way he looked like, the very expression on his face was enough for me to understand that whatever he wanted, it was important to him.

“I screwed up; I know I did. Twice.” His deep voice was talking directly to my heart. “Which only proves I´m not worthy of you.”

I opened my mouth right away in attempt to interrupt him for the third time. But he didn’t let me. Yes, this was important to him, and he wanted to say it all.

“I thought I would protect you by making you hate me. And then when I realized that I can´t even breathe without you, I tried to fix it in the worst possible way. I screwed up big time Lara, but I… I just can´t lose you.”

I shook my head; I closed my eyes as the sadness in his eyes suddenly seemed unbearable to me. He messed up, that was true, but I simply knew it wouldn’t change the way I felt about him.

“So, here´s the deal. I will stop chasing you, I will stop haunting you. No more teasing, no more provoking, no urging. Take you time, take you space to think, to give it a thought, to deal with everything what happened, what I just said to you.”

And I raised my eyebrows. Because… well, yes! There was a huge mishmash and confusion dominating my head and time was most probably the only thing I needed to help me get my thoughts and feelings under control. I knew what I wanted; I knew I wanted him. I was totally sure about that. But I needed to deal with everything I’d heard tonight. With Sophie. And it could help if he stopped provoking me, as it always made me balance at the edge of an abyss.

“All I wish for in return is hope that we can go back to the point where we were before I ruined it. I beg you not to condemn me yet. I once told you, that you deserve someone who will do everything to be yours only. That you deserve someone who wouldn’t get tired of conquering you. And I beg you not to take this opportunity away from me. I want to be allowed to say at least hello when I meet you. I want to be allowed to ask you how you are. Until the day you figure out what you want.”

My gosh!

Is this the same boy whose ego reaches to the heavenly heights?

“I screwed up by trying urgently to make you forgive me. Now, it´s your turn to make the decisions and I will respect them. You´re the boss, Dove. Whatever you want, you´re gonna have it.”

He took a deep breath as if coming to terms with this situation. And then he pierced me with his stunning eyes one more. “Would you agree with…”

“Yes.”

I didn’t need him to say anything else. Hell, he just offered me everything I wanted on a silver plate. The opportunity to calm down the storm in me. “No quarrels, no provocations, no persecution. Just you and me. And peace in between.”

My demon sighed in relief. His whole body relaxed, I felt like I was giving him hope he craved for. Oh, he truly was offering me everything I wanted on a silver plate when he smiled. A gorgeous smile returned to his lips as he gently tucked my hair behind my ear. As he ran his fingers over my face. “Just you and me and peace in between,” he repeated after me as he kissed my forehead. “For now.”

I didn’t suppress the urge, I curled up in his arms. In the arms of a boy who absolutely turned my world upside-down. Or at least I thought so.

Only if I knew that he was just about to show me what turning world upside-down really means.

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