I am Sam
Chapter Seventeen

I’m staring at Caleb, annoyance screaming at him from my eyes as I wield a sword for the hundredth time; it seems. He woke me up at 4:00AM this morning, on a Sunday, the one and only day he usually lets me sleep in, but not today, oh no, not today.

Today it seems that Mr grumpy pants has decided to continue his cruel assault on me after what happened in his room last night. Still, instead of talking it out, he’s decided to take out his built-up anger on me with a sword; great.

He’s been exceptionally bad-tempered this morning, more than his usual broody self, and that’s saying a lot.

After going down to the kitchen with Atlas last night, things started off with us quietly sitting opposite one another and eating Lasagne leftovers from the party. Still, by the end, we ended up replaceing a tub of rocky road ice cream and a bottle of champaign before plonking ourselves down on the floor around the corner out of sight in case anyone came looking for something and ended up replaceing us in there, the kitchen maids didn’t like us helping ourselves without asking, we literally would get scolded like children if they saw us in there, which is ironic considering we could hurt them without even lifting a finger.

And as we sat digging into a mouthful of ice cream followed by gulping down champaign and having it squirt out of our noses, Atlas and I ended up giggling and laughing while we reminisced about the night I cut his hair; the funny part though, not the part that happened next, that part had us both grimacing in unison.

We laughed at everything and nothing at all. He apologized for what he had said in the hall earlier that night and how he had been acting for the past three weeks. Putting it down to being a shitty person and not knowing how to deal with all the shocking lies and revelations that came about that night in my room. I could only nod sympathetically because, yeah, of course I can understand, it hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me either; but I had been living a lie for the past three weeks, and the thought of it suddenly made me feel guilty.

Making everyone believe that Caleb and I are together when we’re not, I knew it was wrong, but what other choice did I have? And then having Caleb chase me from his room like I had done something to offend him when he was the one pushing me up against the wall with his tongue down my throat, and then promptly shouted at me to get out of his room like some lunatic; so who should be the one feeling offended right now, me or him?

I ended up confessing to Atlas that Caleb and I weren’t together and that we hadn’t been intimate. The instant relief on his face as he scrubbed a hand over it with a sigh made it quite clear; that it had really been bothering him a lot these past three weeks, thinking of Caleb and me together in that way had given him nightmares, he had said grimacing.

“Sasha!” Caleb suddenly shouts at me, instantly pulling me from my thoughts when the blade of his sword collides with my own, and I’m suddenly fuming when I look up at him,

“What the hell, Caleb? We’ve been going at this for a solid two hours. Can we just take a break, please?”

“You think this is a game, Sasha? You think I train with you every day because I have nothing better to do?” Stepping up to me until he’s right in my face, he suddenly shoves me back so hard that I fall over; the moment I hit the dirt, I’m glaring up at him; and Caleb comes right down on his haunches until he’s right in my face again.

“You need to get the fuck out of here and back to your mate before I do something,” Clenching my jaw, I narrow my eyes at him,

“Do what?” Gripping my hair, he suddenly pulls back hard; I’m gasping as my face tilts up, his lips right up close to mine as his dark hooded eyes bore into mine,

“I don’t share what’s mine; if I claim you, he’ll never get you back.” And I’m suddenly blinking back the surprised look of shock on my face,

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means stop wasting my time and get off your ass and start actually fighting back because, in the Unseelie realm, they don’t care about going soft on you; now get up.” His words are harsh as he pushes up and away from me; getting up, he suddenly takes his sword in his hand before turning to face me again. I’m up on my feet as I stand staring him down,

“What’s up with you? Since last night, you’re suddenly an even bigger asshole than normal.” Smirking, he cocks a brow at me,

“You’re what’s up with me, the annoying pain in my ass for not doing as you’re told; now let’s go...” Holding his sword up, his eyes suddenly light up with a green glow, it beams through his arms and into his sword, and as I narrow my eyes at him, I suddenly do the same. My eyes light up with electric blue as my elemental power begins to surge through my arms and into my sword, wielding it around once; and then twice; Caleb gives me a stern nod,

“Now, how do you cast a projection spell?”

The blade of his sword collides with mine, green and blue sparks cracking as I step to the side, counteracting his movements just like he’s shown me so many times before,

“Astral projection, to project a person and make them seem like ghosts. Animum vult decipi, ergo decipiatur. Vis, vis, vis.”

My blade collides with his having him side step and counteracting mine as sparks continue to crack against each other; and Caleb gives me another stern nod,

“Conjuration?” His blade comes down harder against mine this time, my brows furrowing in response,

“The ability to create or transfer an item, object or living being to a specified location,” Again, his blade comes down against mine, and each time it seems to be getting harder, with more force when he does.

“Abjuration?” He shouts out as he swings back, the blade just missing my face as I leap back; my jaw is clenched tightly as I narrow my eyes at him,

“The power to protect/heal/support,” I snap the answer at him,

“Give me two examples?” He shouts as his sword comes swinging down against mine, more sparks suddenly forming against the blades.

“Banishment; forcefield regeneration,” I shout back; my entire body is tense, but I can’t let up, not with the way Caleb is coming at me.

My blade continues to block him, but each time it collides with mine, the sparks become more robust.

“Divination?” He shouts as his blade swings low, nearly slicing at my ankles, but I manage to jump back just in time,

“The power to gain information,” I pant as I swing back,

“Example?” He continues as he comes at me again; he’s relentless; I swear it’s like he doesn’t even get tired.

“Clairvoyance,” His blade smacks against mine so hard that the sparks suddenly arch across the sky, and the harder he hits me, the angrier I become with him; he’s acting like an ass.

So what, he’s pissed off because he got all horny last night, and now he’s taking it out on me today? And now he says he’ll claim me if I don’t go back to my world, seriously?

I’m still lost in my thoughts when his blade suddenly comes down even harder, knocking me back; my eyes narrow as I quickly recover and wield my sword at him, readying myself for the next blow.

“Focus, Sasha!” He shouts at me, his hooded eyes darker than I’ve ever seen them as he stares at me through his low-hanging black tendrils of hair over his eyes,

“I am focusing!” I snap back as I stare him down and bring my blade down hard against his, the sparks arching higher than before in an array of blues and greens.

“You’re holding back,” He barks,

“Holding back!? Have you lost your mind?” I shout as my eyes narrow even more in his direction,

“Harder, Sasha!” His collides with mine, and I feel his electric green power shoot right up my blade into my arms, the aftershock making me wince. Panting, I shake my head at him,

“I’m tired,”

“Do you think being tired will help you in the Unseelie realm?” He scoffs as he comes at me again, missing me by an inch as I sidestep him. Is he actually trying to slice into me with his blade right now?

“You’re being a dick!” I lash out as I slam my blade into his, swinging around his brows furrow as he suddenly collides the back of his sword handle into my forehead so hard that I stumble back, wincing I lift my hand up to my face only to see blood against it, “Now I’m being a dick,” He barks back. I’m suddenly glaring at him,

“What the hell is wrong with you?” But he doesn’t relent. Instead, he keeps coming at me, and my blade just blocks him as I sidestep him. The darkened green in his eyes tells me that whatever this is happening right now isn’t training; he’s actually attacking me like I’m his enemy, and I swear I’ve never been so scared of someone in all my life.

“Caleb, stop!” I shout at him, but he doesn’t; he keeps coming, his blade arching harder and louder, the sound of lightning cracking above us suddenly as our blades collide, making me realize we’ve never pushed it to this level; this is going too far now.

I’m swinging around, counteracting his moves as best as I can, blocking his blows, delivering my own, all the while I’m shouting at him to stop. I want to cry when his electric green power sends yet another aftershock up my arms, but I’m too pissed to cry; right now, I’d rather punch him in the face. Blow after blow, my arms are beginning to grow tired, but I can’t stop; I keep moving, jumping, swinging around as my blade collides and blocks, and I keep defending.

Caleb begins chanting magic in a low hum, and I know what he’s doing; he’s using the power of his element; nature. Are you serious right now? Has he lost his goddam mind?

The moment thick long thorny vines come shooting out from the trees at me, I’m suddenly forced to slice through them with my blade, screaming at Caleb, but he doesn’t stop; more vines keep shooting out at me, and eventually, I duck down and quickly perform a shielding spell, the moment the forcefield engulfs me the vines are suddenly folding all around it, covering my shield until I can’t see anything on the outside, my eyes are wide, I’m panting, panicking inside as I watch the vines move and intertwine with one another. I suddenly feel like it’s suffocating me, and the moment that panic begins setting in, the forcefield starts to weaken; I’m watching as the thorns of the vines begin puncturing my shield like popping a balloon full of holes.

I can’t think, can’t breathe; everything inside of me wants to have a panic attack; and then I realize that if I don’t do something right now, the vines will break through the force field and crush me completely. Calming my shaky breathing as best as possible, I take a deep breath and begin channelling my energy, focusing on my powers as the heat starts to push outward from the core of my belly.

When I bring my shaky hands together in a holding position, I’m suddenly performing a moulding spell; I want to mould his vines into a ball, to then keep the ball contained; but something goes wrong, my mind suddenly wonders towards Wolf for a second, and I don’t know how it happens; but in the next moment, the vines are instantly lifted from the forcefield in the shape of a messy ball and flung through a gateway, a portal.

My jaw suddenly drops as I watch the gigantic ball of vines being catapulted into a blue haze before finally watching the portal close; I’m in complete shock as I look down at my hands in disbelief. Did I just open up a portal, for real?

I’m suddenly startled when Caleb grabs me by my shoulders and shoves me back against a tree behind me with a loud thud; his eyes are boring into mine when he sneers,

“A portal! You’re opening portals now? Who the fuck taught you how to open a portal?” He’s shouting at me, and all I can do is stand there in shock, wincing at his harsh tone.

I’ve been studying portals on the side, not that I can climb through one with cuffs against my wrists, but still, I want to know how to open them in case you never know what might happen. I found a book in the library and studied portal manipulation like it was my bible, and by the look on Caleb’s face, he's pissed. My mouth is gaping like a fish as my widened eyes stay fixed on him,

“Answer me, Sasha! Who taught you how to open portals?” He shouts again,

“I did,” I suddenly blurt out, “No one taught me; I found the book in the library, I studied it, and...” And his eyes suddenly widen in response,

“So you just thought you’d fucking open a portal and send a shit load of magical vines into it? Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“Me!? You’re one to talk,” I suddenly snap back as I shove my hands hard against his chest, having him take a step back, “You suddenly decide to go all mental on me, psycho crazy and attack me for real,”

“How else will you learn if I don’t show you how battle really works?” He snaps at me,

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe a fair warning next time that you’re about to go all planet of the apes on me, maybe just a heads up would be nice.” I snap back,

“Do you think you’re going to get a heads up out there, in the Unseelie realm, that they will come up to you and say, hey Sasha, we’re going to attack you now, are you ready?” Narrowing my eyes at him, I smirk as I shake my head,

“No, of course not, but then I would be expecting it; what you just did however; I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Expect the unexpected,” He suddenly mocks as he tightens his grip against my shoulders,

“What is wrong with you, ever since last night... is it because you haven’t been able to fuck anyone lately; is that it? And now you’re taking your frustrations out on me?” I snap at him; narrowing his eyes at me his jaw clenches,

“You think that’s what this is, I’m fucking horny and that’s why I’m doing this?”

“Yes.” I snap at him; narrowing my eyes in response.

He suddenly shoves me back so hard that I’m winded, my ears ringing as I wince in response. His forehead instantly pressed against mine when he slowly rubs his thumb against my bottom lip; swallowing hard, he clenches his jaw.

“I’m fucking falling for you, Sasha. That’s what this is.” His breath is laboured and deep when he runs his fingers through my hair before pulling back hard, his eyes piercing mine, “I fucking hate this, feeling this for you; you’re not even mine.” I’m still swallowing back the shock after his confession when green sparks suddenly erupt and explode through his eyes; stepping back and staring hard at me, he shakes his head as he clenches his jaw and fists his hands, “I need to get you out of here and back to you’re mate, I don’t want this, to fucking feel this way, especially with someone who isn’t mine.” Narrowing my eyes at him, my bottom lip suddenly quivers,

“So feelings turn you into a monster, is that it?” Smirking, he suddenly cocks his head at me as he narrows his eyes at me,

“Monster? Oh baby, you haven’t begun to see the monster that lurks in me.” His words suddenly irk something vile inside me: hurt, anger, frustration. I’m suddenly seeing Wolf in my mind, his smile and everything he means to me comes crashing down against me like a tidal wave. I’m so sick and tired of being in this place, having to deal with everyone’s bullshit when all I want is to be home, with my mate, in Erebus.

Looking down at my sword just a foot away, I suddenly lunge for it; grabbing it as I scream out at Caleb before swinging my sword at him; it misses his face by an inch, and he instantly grabs for his sword as a sinister grin creeps up at the corners of his mouth.

I’m suddenly being fueled by blood-red rage, not at Caleb, not really; but at myself for taking this long to figure out who and what I am; and where I truly belong. Erebus with Wolf, nowhere else.

Caleb swings his sword at me, and I suddenly lose my footing as the blade instantly slices through the flesh of my shoulder. Wincing as I stumble back, my eyes immediately lower to my shoulder; it’s not too deep, but still, my eyes lift up to him, and it’s as if I suddenly lose it entirely because, in the next moment, I’m coming at him with all I have, my wolf suddenly surging to the surface as I growl fiercely at him, and the look in his eyes; he’s completely turned on right now, grinning wickedly at me, he loves this.

The moment my blade collides with his, it’s almost like an all-out war erupting between us, metal clanging on metal as we both come at each other, I feel like a tornado has been unleashed within me, but Caleb doesn’t even break a sweat as he swiftly glides past me and counteracts my movements. How is that even possible?

When I hear a sinister chuckle reverberate from him, it’s like everything explodes within me. He’s toying with me, I’m giving it all I have, and this is nothing but a game to him. I’m about to come at him again when I suddenly hear someone shout loudly from a distance away, Caleb suddenly freezes and turns to look in the direction of where the voice came from, but I don’t stop when my blade suddenly slices through his thigh. Grunting, he suddenly drops to one knee as his eyes collide with mine; his eyes narrow as he stares at me,

“Cheap fucking shot, Sasha,” He groans as he looks down at the blood gushing from his open wound. Scoffing, a wicked grin turns up at the corners of his mouth when he gets back up; all I can do is stare at him in disbelief as he places total weight against his leg, not even wincing as more blood gushes out. How is he able to not feel the pain? I’m about to apologize to him, suddenly feeling really bad for what I did; when I hear the voice shouting again, it’s much closer to us this time, I know that voice, it’s Atlas and he sounds furious. Swinging around, I’m suddenly met with his eyes staring down hard between Caleb and me,

“What is wrong with the two of you?” Atlas suddenly shouts out, his hands flying up in the air as he shakes his head at us; I’m still panting as I look back at Caleb, who’s still standing strong as the blood continues to run down his leg; he’s got a deep cut and as I look down at the blood against the blade in my hand; I suddenly feel tears shimmering behind my eyes.

The moment Atlas comes to stand right between us, he’s looking from me to Caleb, his jaw tight as he stares Caleb down,

“What the fuck is your problem? You could have seriously hurt her, you know that?” And Caleb suddenly cocks his head as he narrows his dark hooded eyes at Atlas,

“Why the fuck do you care? Weren’t you the one who made it pretty clear last night that you don’t give a shit about her?” Scoffing, Atlas clenches his jaw in response,

“I’ll always care about her; we’re connected, remember?” Smirking, Caleb tilts his head, suddenly amused,

“Oh really? So where was this caring, connected side of you for the past three weeks?”

“Don’t fucking judge me, man. It’s been hard enough to control my dragon, let alone come to terms with what she actually is to me.” Smirking, Caleb suddenly sneers at him,

“So she’s you’re sister, so fucking what? Get over yourself, Atlas.” The moment Caleb snaps at him; Atlas suddenly narrows his eyes in response,

“Whatever, you don’t know what I’ve been through,” and I don’t know if it’s because of his blood loss or a sudden surge of adrenaline, but Caleb suddenly launches himself at Atlas, brutally gripping him around his throat as his eyes bore into his,

“What you’ve gone through!?” He seethes, “She might not be your mate, but she’s your twin; you didn’t fucking lose her; you still have her with you.” And I suddenly realize this has done a complete one-eighty from Atlas and me to Caleb and Cole in a heartbeat, but Atlas doesn’t pick this up, instead he suddenly loses it as he grabs hold of Caleb,

“Fuck you!” He seethes, and I can see it happening right before my eyes; they’re going to kill each other; more likely, Caleb will kill Atlas with how unpredictably dangerous he is, and I can’t let that happen; I can’t let my twin die.

It happens instantaneously as if instinct kicks in to save my twin, that feeling of needing to protect him just comes out of nowhere. A sudden surge of energy explodes through me when I scream, “STOP!” My hands swing to the sides, which instantly have two blue power bolts catapult them apart.

Both landing on their asses a few distances apart, wide-eyed and surprised when they turn and look at me. Tears are suddenly running down my cheeks as I stare between them, I don’t need them to do this, fight each other; this is ridiculous.

Atlas slowly turns his head back at Caleb when he narrows his eyes,

“This is all you’re fault,”

“My fault?” Caleb suddenly flips out at him,

“You heard me, look at her; look at what you did.” He snaps at him,

“Don’t tell me how to treat her; she’s my mate; I’ll do what I want to...” But Atlas suddenly smirks; shaking his head when he cuts him off,

“I know you haven’t claimed her, so you can stop the bullshit act,” Caleb only narrows his eyes at him, “Sasha told me the truth last night, about you helping her to go into the Unseelie realm to break the curse.” Turning his head slowly to look at me, Caleb suddenly scoffs,

“You told him? Have you lost your fucking mind?” Swallowing hard, I’m doing all I can to hold back from completely falling apart,

“He’s my... brother,” My voice suddenly sounding so small. Scoffing, Caleb suddenly narrows his eyes at me,

“And if he goes running off to Ronan, and tells him everything, then what?”

“I would never fucking do that!” Atlas suddenly barks out at Caleb,

“Yeah right, actions speak louder than words; and you’re actions have left me second guessing just how much she ever meant to you in the first place.”

“Fuck you!” Atlas snaps at him, and I suddenly shout, “Enough!” which instantly has both of them looking up at me. My bottom lip suddenly begins to quiver, and I just can’t hold the tears back anymore as they start to fall hard. Shaking my head at them both, the words, “I can’t do this anymore,” comes out in sobs as I suddenly take a few steps back before turning and retreating away from them and back towards the castle.

~

Finally getting to my room, I’m out of breath when I slam the door shut behind me, suddenly breaking down in hard sobs; I’m wiping at the tears, but it only makes them fall harder. The whole fighting scene with Caleb suddenly has me looking down at my shoulder where the blade had sliced through my flesh; it’s already healed, and the only sign of it ever being there is the dry blood against my skin.

I might be healed on the outside, but I feel completely broken on the inside; with everything that happened with Caleb and then Atlas, it’s just too much right now. Caleb confesses to having feelings for me and treating me like his enemy on a battlefield. Then Atlas admits how hard it’s been for him to handle everything between us after we found out we are twins. It feels like everything, every lie and truth, is suffocating me. I need Wolf now more than ever before, and I can’t be with him; I suddenly let out a guttural scream of frustration, fisting my hands by my side as I whimper.

Slowly looking over at the closed bathroom door in front of me, I decide I just needed to be alone; I need to wash all this blood off of me and drown my emotions under a warm bath for a couple of hours; so I can try to think clearly again.

I’m almost at the bathroom when I suddenly hear a deep voice say, “Stop,” My body instantly freezes, swallowing down a sudden lump in my throat; I slowly turn around in the direction of the voice, and the moment my eyes meet with the same creature from three weeks ago, my eyes suddenly widen in response. His dark eyes suddenly roam over my appearance as he raises a questioning brow at me, but he doesn’t say a word.

I want to run, but something stops me; I’m not scared of him this time, instead I stand firmly in place as I stare him down,

“How did you get into my room?” Smirking, he slowly tilts his head, his eyes never leaving mine,

“Can you pick up my scent, she-wolf?” His voice comes through rough and deep,

“No.” I retort,

“Well, I doubt any of them will be able to either.” He says, tilting his head in the direction of the door,

“You’re a wolf, aren’t you? You’re not an Unseelie creature like they think you are.” Scoffing, he shakes his head,

“No, I’m not an Unseelie.”

“But you are a wolf, not a creature?” I ask with suspicion in my eyes,

“I’m more than just a wolf; she-wolf,” Smirking, I slowly roll my eyes.

“You can stop calling me she-wolf, okay? It’s just Sasha.”

“Okay, just Sasha, my name is Asher, not creature,” He says with a smirk, and I can’t help raising a questioning brow at him,

“So what kind of wolf are you, Asher?”

“I’m the last Ultima wolf, well, at least I thought I was until I smelt your mate on you.” My brows suddenly furrow in disbelief,

“What? You’re an Ultima wolf?”

“I am.” He responds with a stern nod,

“But,” And I slowly take another whiff at him, “You don’t smell like a wolf; you don’t smell like anything at all, actually,” Smirking he narrows his eyes in response,

“If you haven’t noticed, our kind has been banned from this realm, so I use white clay to hide my scent.” Clever; I think to myself with a smirk.

“But you’re eyes, they’re completely black; how do you explain that?”

“I’ve been cursed,” He shrugs nonchalantly,

“Cursed?” I’m suddenly blinking back in surprise,

“Yes, Malvessa cursed me.”

“She cursed you how?”

“I’m unable to use my true Ultima powers,”

“Oh,” I respond with a nod as my mind tries to process everything he’s telling me; looking down at his wrists, I suddenly start rubbing at the cuffs against mine; he instantly notices this, and the moment his eyes land on the cuffs against my wrists his brows furrow as he clenches his jaw,

“I see you’re just as much a prisoner as I am,” And I’m suddenly feeling an uncomfortable feeling begin to settle within my stomach,

“Who cuffed you?” I suddenly ask him as my brows furrow when I look down at his wrists; narrowing his eyes, he abruptly scoffs,

“She lives inside this castle,”

“She?” I ask, suddenly surprised,

“Yes, she...” But before he can continue, the door to my room suddenly swings open; I’m entirely startled when I look over and see Caleb walk into my room, his hands running through his messy hair,

“Look, Sasha, I’m not any fucking good at this, but I just wanted to say I’m... sorry.” When his eyes slowly lift to me, they instantly narrow at Asher.

“You!” He suddenly snarls, and he’s about to lunge himself at Asher when; you can call it, wolf instincts suddenly kick in, and I replace myself leaping in between them, holding my hands up to Caleb as I protectively defend Asher,

“Caleb, no!” I suddenly shout out; to which he suddenly stops and stares down at me in disbelief,

“Sasha, what the fuck are you doing? Get out of the way,”

“No, you can’t attack him,” I snap at him, my eyes stern as I stare him down,

“Why not? He’s an Unseelie creature,” He snaps back,

“No, he isn’t,” I retort irritably,

“Isn’t what?” And I can see the sudden confusion in Caleb’s eyes,

“An Unseelie,” I respond, narrowing my eyes,

“What?” Caleb narrows his eyes questioningly at me,

“He’s a wolf, an Ultima wolf,” I say in a low voice, not wanting to draw any more attention with my door wide open. Caleb’s jaw suddenly drops the moment his eyes fly up to look at Asher,

“That’s impossible,”

“No, it’s not, I’m an Ultima wolf, and you’re a murderer,” Asher suddenly growls as he glares at Caleb.

“What?” Caleb says, staring at Asher like he’s crazy,

“You heard me, witch; you’re a murderer; you killed my father.”