I am Sam
Chapter Eighteen

They haven’t moved; ever since Asher’s accusation, both Caleb and Asher are staring hard at each other; neither one willing to pull back, and now I’m the one standing half in between them like a referee to make sure they don’t actually kill each other.

“Okay, so are we just going to stand staring each other down all day, or are we actually going to get to the bottom of this?” Looking from Caleb to Asher, the tension in this room is suddenly suffocating.

“There’s nothing to get to the bottom of; he killed my father; he deserves to die for it; it’s that simple.” Asher’s words are hard and cold as he glares at Caleb, and Caleb only narrows his eyes back at him, but he doesn’t say a word. It’s as if recognition of memory has hit home with him; I can see it in his eyes; it’s true, he killed Asher’s father, now the only thing I need to figure out is why.

“Caleb?” I say, turning my attention towards him, “Is this true? Did you kill his father?” And for the first time, I see uncertainty in Caleb’s eyes as he swallows down hard,

“He needs to get the fuck out of this castle before Ronan replaces him here,” Caleb says through gritted teeth. Furrowing my brows, I turn to look at Asher; who’s suddenly glaring even harder at Caleb,

“I’m not going anywhere, witch. You took everything from me, you and that bitch.” My eyes suddenly widen as I look back at Caleb in surprise,

“Who’s he talking about, Caleb?” But his jaw merely clenches tighter as his hands become fisted by his sides,

“No one,” He says through gritted teeth. Scoffing, Asher smirks at him,

“Protecting that blonde bitch won’t stop me from ending her life,” The moment he says that, my eyes suddenly narrow in confusion,

“Circen?” But Caleb only swallows hard again as he furrows his brows and shakes his head,

“No,”

“Eris?” I ask again as I give him a questioning look. He swallows hard again, but he doesn’t answer me, wait, so Eris is involved; is this the big secret? What did she do? Turning my head to look at Asher, I narrow my eyes suspiciously,

“What does Eris have to do with this?” Asher suddenly swallows hard as if a painful memory instantly infiltrates his mind; he’s about to answer me when a sudden hard knock at my door has me spinning around to face in the direction with wide eyes,

“Sasha, it’s time. May I come in?” It’s Ronan; oh shit, twin time, not now. I’m suddenly swallowing hard when I shout back,

“Um, just a minute,” Shit, Shit, shit. He never comes to fetch me himself, what the actual... Looking back over at Caleb, he’s still staring Asher down; shit, how am I meant to leave them like this? I’m suddenly panicking as I gaze from one to the other, trying to quickly devise a plan; I think of the only possible thing I can do in a situation like this.

“You, in my bathroom, now,” I whisper in a hushed yet panicked tone, but Asher doesn’t move, so I instantly grip his arm; only then does he look away from Caleb and stares at me in surprise, “Ronan can’t replace you in my room, hide in my bathroom, now,” I whisper as I start pushing and shoving him towards the bathroom. Luckily he doesn’t resist and starts moving with me. Once he’s inside my bathroom, I’m suddenly giving him a sympathetic look, “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go and do this twin thing; otherwise, Ronan will get suspicious; please just stay in here until I get back,” Blinking back surprise Asher suddenly turns his head to look around at his surroundings,

“You’re bathroom?”

“Yes, just stay here until I get back; and please, whatever you do, don’t come out, and don’t get into a fight with Caleb,” Narrowing his eyes at me, he clenches his jaw,

“I can’t promise that,” Cocking an irritated brow at him, I groan,

“Please, Asher, I don’t know what else to do right now, so just please stay in here and wait until I get back,” Sighing he smirks,

“Fine, I’ll try not to kill him until you get back,” Nodding with a sigh, I take a step back, “Well, at least that’s something,” I shrug before closing the bathroom door, swiftly turning back towards Caleb, I’m suddenly right in front of him, but his eyes are distant, he’s looking straight past me like he’s lost in a moment or a memory of some kind,

“Caleb, hey, look at me.” Gently touching his cheek, he suddenly looks down at me, his brows furrowing in response. “Talk to me, Caleb, tell me what’s going on,” He only swallows hard again, and I can see something heavy is troubling him. But before I can say anything more, the door suddenly swings open and in walks Ronan.

Looking past Caleb, I’m instantly glaring at Ronan,

“I said give me a minute,” But he merely raises a bored-browed expression at me,

“I think you forget to whom you’re speaking, Sasha. I don’t wait for anyone,” Giving me a surprised look, Ronan suddenly smirks, “You look like you’ve been to war?” I remember that I still have dried blood on my face and arm, and my clothes are dirty and gross. But there’s no time to freshen up now; turning his attention towards Caleb, he suddenly narrows his eyes, “Trouble in paradise?” And his question instantly irks me,

“No,” I retort, and as I look back up at Caleb, I’m suddenly feeling worried for him; he looks off, like way off even for him. Placing both my hands against his cheeks, I gently coax him into lowering his forehead against mine, “Please,” I whisper as I close my eyes; regardless of what happened this morning, he’s still my friend, and I do care and worry about him. His hands come around my waist as he suddenly tightens his hold when he whispers, “I can’t.” And as I pull my face away to look up at him, my brows are furrowing in response; there’s so much pain in his eyes all of a sudden as he stares down at me. I’m about to say something when Ronan interrupts again,

“Sasha, we don’t have all day; you two can sort out your quarrels later; Atlas needs twin bonding, now.” Ronan grumbles irritably, and I suddenly sigh in agitation when I lower my eyes before slowly pulling away, “Please, Caleb,” are the words I whisper as I begin walking away from him, all I can hope is that Caleb and Asher won’t kill each other while I’m gone.

Am I crazy to leave them alone together like this?

~

Atlas is already sitting on a rug at the end of his bed like he does every day, waiting for me to come and have twin strengthening sessions with him; the moment I make my way over to him, he keeps his eyes trained out in front of him like he has done for three weeks, seemingly ignoring me like he’s done every day so far; no trace of what happened earlier in the forest anywhere between us. I’m still covered in my bloodied and dirty clothes, I never even had a chance to change, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. I’m sitting crossed-legged across from Atlas. As he continues to ignore me, I know it’s for Ronan’s benefit if for nothing else.

“Alright, Sasha, let’s begin; I’ll give you about two hours; it should be enough time,” Ronan grumbles behind me; sighing, I slowly take Atlas’s hands in mine, and I swallow down hard at the sparks suddenly shooting up and down my arms. As I close my eyes, I suddenly feel the energy empowering both of us as power blue sparks begin to flow between us. “I’ll leave you both to it then,” Ronan mumbles as he turns and heads out the door before shutting it. I swear I’m suddenly internally eye-rolling at the old dragon devil; I can’t stand him.

The moment I feel Atlas move his hands in mine, suddenly intertwining his fingers with mine and squeezing my hands tightly, I realize that he’s linked with me and clearly felt my eye roll at Ronan; he suddenly mind links me instead of focusing on the energy flow between us when he says,

“Hey,” I slowly squeeze his hands when I link back,

“Hey,”

“You okay?” He links again,

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I respond nonchalantly,

“You seem tense,” Smirking I swallow down a lump in my throat,

“Considering what happened this morning, you mean?”

“Yeah, about that,” He begins, “I wanted to come to your room and apologize for everything, but Ronan got hold of me downstairs, so I couldn’t get away,”

“It’s fine; you don’t need to apologize.” I quickly link back,

“Yes, I do, Sasha. I’ve fucked up so badly at being; you know; you’re... brother,” And I feel him wince as he links me with the last word.

“It wasn’t our fault, Atlas. We didn’t know the truth; when we connect like this, it can feel very overwhelming; I get how it can be mistaken for a... mate bond.” Tightening his hold against my hands, he slowly opens his eyes when he speaks instead of mind linking me,

“I know; I just wish I could do something to say sorry,” Opening my eyes, I smile softly at him,

“You don’t need to say sorry, Atlas. I just wish...” My brows knit together as I swallow hard and look down,

“What? Sasha, tell me, you wish what?” Looking up at him, I swallow hard again,

“I wish I could see Wolf, even if just for a moment. I miss him so much and being here... it’s just really hard sometimes, but that’s stupid; I know I can’t see him,” Atlas suddenly frowns when he squeezes my hands again,

But what if you could?” Quickly looking up at him, my brows knit together in response,

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what if you could see him?” Blinking back confusion, I’m suddenly trying to think how it could be possible,

“H-how?”

“There is a way; it’s called a window; we’re not allowed to use this kind of magic; it’s kind of dangerous.” He says with a shrug,

“Oh,” I respond, looking down,

“But I would do it, I mean, I can, I know how to,” When my eyes fly up to him, I can see the sympathetic smile in his eyes,

“Really, you would help me so I can see Wolf?”

“Yeah,” He shrugs with a smile.

We’re facing the large mirror against the wall, I’m sitting cross-legged, and Atlas is sitting right behind me, his legs wide and me in between them, his arms tightly around my waist as he slowly pulls me against his hard chest, a small gasp suddenly escaping my lips, I haven’t been this close to him since...

“Um, is this... okay?” He asks in a low unsure voice beside my ear. Nodding, I slowly lean back into him, “I’m holding onto you because I’m the source that will open the window for you, and I’m right here if you feel anxious, okay?” Nodding, I keep my eyes on our reflection in the mirror as he intertwines his fingers with mine. Atlas looks over my shoulder, our eyes locking in the mirror when his brows suddenly furrow, “Um, so...whatever you do, don’t break our connection, don’t pull away no matter what until it’s done and we’re both out of the window together,”

“Why?”

“It’s just really dangerous, if you break the connection before we’re both back, I could die if I get stuck inside the window. We have to both make it back together, okay?” Nodding, I furrow my brows in response; this suddenly doesn’t sound like a good idea.

Atlas closes his eyes when he says, “I’m going to open the window now; you’ll see it in the mirror; I want you to think of Wolf in the same way as if you were with him right now where he is,” Nodding I’m still staring into the mirror. Atlas goes quiet... a few seconds go by, the only indication of what’s going on being that the hazy blue sparks of his energy and mine are growing and becoming more profoundly powerful.

In the next moment, I begin to notice something really strange happening in the mirror, it’s almost as if the mirror itself is becoming fluid like it’s moving within itself. I quickly remember what Atlas said to me, to focus on Wolf, focus on being with him right now, and that’s precisely what I do.

When a vision in the mirror starts to manifest itself, my brows suddenly furrow as I focus more intently on it, until the image becomes so clear that I instantly blink back in surprise when I see Wolf. I suddenly gasp as tears well up in my eyes at the sight of him sitting behind my father’s large desk in the office; I can’t believe it, it’s really him, it’s really Wolf.

He’s sitting hunched over the desk, his head resting in his hands; he looks busy with a heap of paperwork in front of him, clearly pack stuff, I’m guessing. This realization suddenly has me smiling with a slight chuckle as the first tear falls, my heart instantly swelling with the love I feel for him; I’ve missed him so much that the ache in my chest suddenly makes me wish that I was right there with him now. He looks super engrossed in something he’s reading, running his free hand through his hair; all I want to do is reach out and touch him, climb through the portal and out on the other side, climb into his arms and never let him go.

“Wolf, I miss you.” I breathe, almost sobbing with tears of joy as a smile beams across my face. He’s still completely lost in the paperwork he’s busy with when suddenly someone else appears in the office; Wolf doesn’t look up; and the moment she comes to stand right beside him, resting a hand against his shoulder, she gives him a sideways smile, while rubbing at his shoulder, which instantly has me swallowing a heavy lump as my brows crease furrow; as my wolf suddenly perks up and growls in response.

“Hey, need help replaceing something?” She asks him; I’m suddenly frowning deeper; clenching my jaw tightly as I narrow my eyes at her, my wolf is right in the irises of my eyes, suddenly wanting to leap through this mirror and rip her to pieces for touching what's mine.

“Yeah, I’m trying to replace that document I placed down on my desk yesterday; the quote for them to come and install a tighter security system,” Nodding, she smiles at him, suddenly leaning across the table, basically shoving her tits in his face, retrieving a document from a pile on his left, she pulls back slowly and hands it to him, and I swear I can instantly taste blood as I bite down hard against the inside of my mouth.

“Here you go,” His face suddenly lights up with a broad smile, “Thanks, Jes, man, how did you do that?”

“One of my many talents,” She winks,

“Well, I owe you one,” He says with a smile, and she shrugs while giving him a teasing little grin,

“Any time, Alpha, maybe we should go grab a beer in town; you’ve been working too hard lately; what do ya say?” And the moment he looks up at her and gives her a small smile, I suddenly shout "No!"

Something suddenly shifts in him; his jaw clenches as a deep frown creases between his brows, his eyes slowly move over towards the direction where I am, and for a moment, I freeze. My heart stops beating, and I swear our eyes lock in parallel space and time as he swallows down hard. But then she suddenly turns his face to look up when she speaks, “Hey, you okay?” Shrugging, he smirks as he shakes his head,

“Yeah, I just thought I heard something,”

“What?” She says, looking over in the direction of where he had been looking,

“Nothing; I think I’m just losing my mind.” He smirks again, “You know what, I think I’ll take you up on that beer after all,”

“Ata boy,” She smiles down at him. As he pushes out of his chair and comes up beside her placing his hand against the small of her back to guide her forward, they gingerly leave the office together. My mind goes wild as I begin back peddling, feeling like I can’t breathe; the vision of him with another she-wolf suddenly suffocates me.

Without thinking, I pull away from Atlas; I have a full-on panic attack; Wolf is with someone else, he’s found someone else... I can’t think... everything is suddenly spinning out of control. And the moment I let go and push away from Atlas, he unexpectedly falls back against the floor, suddenly convulsing as his entire body begins shaking uncontrollably. My eyes widen in shock and horror as I turn to stare down at him; his eyes have rolled right back into his head, blood running down his nose as his body continues to shake and spasm chaotically,

“Atlas!” I’m suddenly shouting his name as I’m instantly right beside him, my eyes wide, my jaw slack; what have I done? Cupping his shaking head in my hands, I’m whimpering his name repeatedly, my own agony over Wolf momentarily forgotten. “Atlas, please, Atlas?” I call out to him, suddenly placing my forehead against his own, tears streaming down my cheeks as I begin sobbing. He said not to let go; it was the one thing he told me not to do, and I let go and pulled back.

Whimpering his name, begging for a miracle as Atlas’s body shakes in my arms, I suddenly do the only thing that makes sense to me. Focusing my elemental twin power on him, I’m suddenly focusing on pulling him out, I don’t know if it will work, but I can’t have him trapped in there; I need him back, he’s my brother, and I love him too much to lose him again. “I’m so sorry, Atlas, please come back to me,” I can’t lose him; I just can’t.

I feel my energy pulling at his, connecting with his own as it begins desperately drawing him back, back from a place where it feels like he could fall into darkness at any moment; the invisible cord of our twin powers the only thing keeping him from plunging down into a place of emptiness.

“Please... come back,” I breathe; my soul feels like it’s shaking as I keep pulling him back to me. And as if by some miracle, I can feel him coming to me; he’s pulling himself back as I keep holding firm onto the lifeline he needs. It’s straining, it hurts so much as he pulls at it, but I don’t care; I refuse to let him fall.

The moment he gasps and chokes on a cough, his body stops shaking, his eyes return to normal as he pants hard, his grip around me tightening like someone who nearly drowned. His eyes replace mine, his brows furrow as he clenches his jaw,

“You let go; you let go...” He whispers in a hoarse voice, and all I can do is shake my head as more tears continue to fall,

“Never again, I’ll never let go; I’m so sorry, Atlas. I’m so sorry...” I whimper as I place my cheek against his chest; I can’t believe I nearly got Atlas killed just because of my selfish mindset. I saw Wolf with another she-wolf, and instead of staying calm, I just reacted, and it nearly cost Atlas his life.

Pulling me to him, he hugs me tightly against his chest, but I can’t stop crying,

“It’s okay; I’m fine; Sasha, I’m fine; please stop crying.” He says as he places a gentle kiss against the top of my head. For the first time since we found out, we are actually twins and all the crazy chaos that followed after that; I honestly feel like none of that matters; I don’t care that we made out, that I nearly slept with him; none of that matters to me anymore, he’s my twin, we’ll always be connected, and that’s more powerful than the lies we’ve been forced to live all our lives up until now.

Lifting my head to look up at his big brown eyes, a blue spark is suddenly swirling behind them as he gently brushes a loose strand of my hair out of my face before tucking it behind my ear,

“I promise to never let go either; you’re mine, my twin, and no matter what happens from here on out, I’ll do anything to protect you and get you back to Wolf, I swear.” When he says Wolf’s name, I swallow hard and look down as I nod. He instantly picks up on the sudden shift in me,

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Swallowing hard again, I shake my head at him,

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Gently running the soft pad of his thumb across my cheek as he wipes away the tears against my skin, I look into his concerned eyes, “I nearly fucking died because of it, don’t tell me it’s nothing, Sasha, what is it? What did you see?” Swallowing even harder, I feel the fresh onset of tears as the lump in my throat continues to grow, my bottom lip suddenly trembling as I take in a short breath of air,

“I think...” My voice suddenly cracks, “Wolf, he...another she-wolf,” And I can hardly get the words out when the tears finally fall like a wave from my eyes. His brows furrow as his jaw clenches; pulling me close to his chest, he wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly as he shushes me like I’m a small child he’s busy consoling.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay; I’m sure it isn’t what you think; I mean, did you actually see anything that indicated that they were... you know?” Slowly pulling away to look at him, I’m wiping away the tears as I continue to sniff, shaking my head, my bottom lip continues to tremble,

“No, but; she was in his office with him; I’ve never seen her before; and she was right up close to him, Atlas; she was flirting with him and...” Smirking, he gently runs the soft pad of his thumb across my lips,

“Like you were flirting with Caleb?” He asks, giving me a quizzical look, and my brows instantly furrow in response as I look down at him,

“No, that’s not the same thing,” I retort, rolling his eyes teasingly. He scoffs,

“Yeah, well, if Wolf was the one looking in through a window and saw you with Caleb these past three weeks, would he have thought the same?” And my mouth suddenly shuts tight as I stare at him, and the moment I think it over I can’t answer him, because even though it had all been for show, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong, and I know that. It would have destroyed him if Wolf had looked in on any of that.

Sighing before finally pulling me back against his chest, Atlas gives me a reassuring hug,

“Look, how about this, when we break this curse on Wolf, and we get back to him, if she’s still there, I’ll personally use a banishing spell on her and send her into the Unseelie realm for all eternity, okay?” Smirking, I bite down against my bottom lip as a small smile creeps up at the corners of my mouth,

“That’s a bit harsh; how about you send her down into the dungeons of Aeonian instead,” Smirking he suddenly chuckles,

“Deal, I’ll send this she-wolf...”

“Jes,” I quickly interrupted him, “He called her Jes,”

“Jes, okay, I’ll send Jes into the dungeons of Aeonian, lock her away, throw away the key, and keep her there forever and ever, okay?”

“Deal,” I say softly as I give him a small smile. Still, the truth is, I know that Atlas is just trying to make me feel better right now, but it’s pretty hard getting that image of Wolf and someone else out of my mind, I suddenly feel like I want to be sick.

~

After a while of just lying like that with me, Atlas had to go; he didn’t want Ronan to come back in here and replace us like that; he had some official royal stuff to do with Ronan, which instantly had both of us rolling our eyes at the modern-day Hitler of Aeonian; Atlas told me to stay as long as I needed too, and as sweet as that was of him, I knew I had to get back to my room, the idea of Asher and Caleb both still being in there after all this time really has me feeling nervous; yet the moment I get back to my room, I suddenly notice they’re both gone, there are no signs of a struggle yet I’m worried, I can’t help it, where did they go?

After finally having that long hot bath I desperately needed since this morning’s training session went wrong, I got dressed in my sleeping pants and a t-shirt. I know I need to go check on Caleb. Still, as I stand before the large mirror in my room, brushing my damp hair, I’m suddenly furrowing my brows when I think about what happened earlier, what I saw. And I can’t help when my eyes slowly become bloodshot, my lips suddenly trembling as tears begin to swim behind them as I go to sit down on the floor, my legs suddenly feel shaky as I push my back against the wall; all I can do is to continue staring into the mirror; the tears suddenly falling desperately as the thought of Wolf moving on with someone else suddenly suffocates me; I want to go to him, really go to him, and I can’t; and this only has me crying harder, my soul feeling like it’s being ripped from my chest, right now I’ve never felt so lost.

I aimlessly stare into the mirror, an electric blue ball of energy bouncing around in my hands. My eyes are all puffy from crying; I still can’t believe what I saw the moment I looked through that window into my world, the moment I saw Wolf sitting at his desk in the office; and another she-wolf right up close to him. Who is she? What is she doing there? Am I too late? Have I lost him already? I’m drowning in my thoughts, suddenly wishing I had never asked Atlas to show him to me.

I’m still completely lost in my own heartache when Asher suddenly appears right beside me out of nowhere, instantly having me jump with fright,

“Jeez, Asher, where did you just come from?” I ask as I grab my chest, the blue ball of energy in my grasp instantly disappearing.

“The window,” He says nonchalantly as he shrugs before coming and sitting down beside me, and even though he looks like some freaky white ghost with black eyes, strange enough, he doesn’t scare me at all,

“So, where did you go? And where’s Caleb?” Clenching his jaw at the mention of Caleb’s name, he merely shrugs again,

“I didn’t kill him, not yet. When I eventually came out of your bathroom, he was already gone; I had stuff to do so...”

“Stuff?” I ask, raising a curious brow at him, smirking; a grin suddenly creeps up at the corners of his mouth,

“Yeah, stuff. But I’m back now, so...” Scoffing, I roll my eyes at him,

“Well, welcome back.” And we both just sit like that for a while, the awkward silence filling the air between us; well, it’s strange for me; Asher seems completely indifferent; I think awkward silence might actually be his thing. And I suddenly feel the urge to ask him a question that’s been burning a hole in me since earlier,

“Asher, remember today when you said that the one who cuffed you lives inside this castle?” Nodding, he smirks,

“Yeah,”

“Was it Eris? Was she the one who cuffed you?” Furrowing his brows, he suddenly looks down as he clenches his jaw, his entire body going rigid and tense,

“She did more than just cuff me, she destroyed my life, and the one you call Caleb, he helped her cover it up.” And I suddenly swallow hard as a deep frown etches across my face; all I can do is sit and stare at him, the following question falling from my lips before I can stop myself,

“What did she do?” Swallowing hard, Asher suddenly looks up at me with a sea of pain swimming behind his black eyes,

“She told me she loved me, and then ripped my soul apart.”