I am Wolf
Chapter Forty

SASHA

I’m still riding on a complete high by the time we get back to Erebus. Wolf took us all the way up the forest climb to Cross Mountain, the early signs of winter already hanging on the tree tops and slicing through the air like ice. I have a feeling it’s going to be a cold winter this year; I guess it’s lucky that we’re wolves and don’t really feel the cold like normal humans do.

Being on the back of the bike with Wolf makes me feel carefree inside, like I’m just a young girl going for a ride with her boyfriend up the mountain. Like I don’t have a care in the world, almost like everything that happened last night never happened, well, almost.

The moment we drive through the gates of Erebus, however, everything changes. I’m still walking hand in hand with Wolf as we make our way up to the front door when I suddenly spot Atlas coming storming out of the packhouse. My eyes widen, and my chest immediately tightens; my first reaction is that he’s coming straight for me. By the force of his march and the look on his face, he looks super angry; it’s only when I realize that he’s looking straight past me like I don’t even exist and when he literally storms right past us, nearly knocking me out the way that I know the object of his anger is not us, at least, I don’t think it is?

“Atlas?” I call out to him with confusion sketched out on my face, but he just keeps on marching in the direction of our outdoor cold rooms; it’s where they’re keeping Kris’s body for now, so I know why he’s heading in that direction, at least.

The moment I hear Edith call out his name, my head suddenly whips back to look at her; she’s standing in the doorway, her eyes heavy and filled with sadness as she stares after him.

“Atlas!” She calls for a second time, but he’s long gone around the corner of the packhouse by the time she does. My brows furrow, and I instantly feel Wolf’s hand tighten around mine, his jaw clenching as he looks up at Edith.

“Everything alright?” He asks as he looks up at Edith. The moment she sighs and shakes her head, an uncomfortable knot suddenly forms in my stomach the reason I’m not quite sure, but my throat suddenly feels really dry. She looks down at both Wolf and me as her eyes soften sympathetically,

“Why don’t you two come into the office so we can talk?” The small smile on her face doesn’t reach her eyes, and I guess that’s when the knot in my stomach suddenly turns into a bout of panic. Something’s wrong; I can feel it.

~

Edith walks into Dad’s office and sits on one of the three luxury leather couches, gesturing for us to join her. I haven’t been back in here since Dad and I had that huge fight; the day I got taken, we had fought over Wolf. He knew Wolf was my fated mate; I had already told him. But he didn’t care; he told me I couldn’t be fated to a rogue, that he would never allow it. The last thing I told my father was that I would never forgive him if anything happened to Wolf; the last thing he said to me was, ’What’s inside of you will destroy that boy.’ And then he died. Was my father right? Will what’s inside of me one day destroy Wolf? The thought of that instantly sends a jolt of fear right through me.

Looking down at the coffee table, I already see that she’s made tea, and now I’m officially panicking inside. Edith only makes a pot of tea if she needs to talk to me about something really important or something terrible. Deep down inside, I’m hoping what’s important is nothing more than her wanting to tell us that we’ve averted all dangers, that Caius is dead, Lisbon’s been captured, and the curse on both Wolf and me has been lifted. Fat chance, though, not by the way Atlas stormed out of here and not by the way she’s looking at me right now.

“Is something wrong, Edith?” My voice suddenly sounds so small. I hate shrinking into myself, but I’m suddenly scared. Wolf pulls me close to his side; right now, the only thing making me feel safe is him. I want to crawl onto his lap and bury my face in the hollow of his neck, and the worst part is, I don’t even know why.

Edith slowly looks from me to Wolf and then back at me again, placing her cup of tea down against the small table; she sighs.

“I thought you should know that Atlas is going back tomorrow.” She instantly has my attention as I look up at her,

“Wait, he’s leaving?”

“Good riddance,” Wolf suddenly scoffs as he rolls his eyes beside me. Edith immediately gives Wolf a stern look, which has him blowing out a breath as he scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m just saying, the sooner he leaves, the sooner we can replace some normality in all this chaos.”

Biting down against my bottom lip, I think it over for just a second. “So he’s going back to the witch’s realm?” I have no idea why the thought of him leaving suddenly has me feeling on edge. But as my brows knit together and my jaw tightens, I suddenly realize that I wasn’t expecting him to leave so soon; I have questions that need answers, questions about me, about what I am, about Lisbon and the curse she placed on us, on Wolf. We still need to break them somehow...

“He agreed to stay for the night, but they are all going back first thing in the morning. They need to get Kris’s body back, and Atlas has been summoned before Ronan.” Clenching my jaw, my brows suddenly knit together suspiciously,

“Who’s Ronan?” I vaguely remember Kris mentioning his name back at the mine shaft. Still, I have no idea who or what he is, and besides, I wasn’t really paying attention at the time.

“Ronan is in charge of and rules over all the white lighter witches as their current King.” Nodding, my mouth slowly turns into an “Oh.” The word King clearly means he’s someone of importance. “He’s also Atlas’s father.” Well, that suddenly gets my attention as my jaw tightens in response.

“Wait, Atlas is a prince?” I ask, feeling slightly confused.

“Like I said, born with a silver spoon up his ass,” Wolf mumbles with a cough. The sarcasm in his comment shouldn’t surprise me. I know Wolf has no time for Atlas, and I can hardly blame him, but Edith narrows her eyes at him like a mother figure about to scold her son at any moment.

“Yes.” She responds and then looks at me. “He’s next in line to take over from Ronan when the time comes; Atlas will be crowned the new King.” Nodding, I smirk as I look up at Edith.

“So then, if his dad wants to see him, it can’t be all that bad, can it?” Edith’s jaw suddenly clenches as she frowns,

“If you call wanting to throw your only son into prison for treason, not at all bad...” I’m suddenly blinking as I sit up straight, an icy cold feeling slowly running down my spine.

“Treason, for what?” I blurt out with a frown.

“For coming to save you and for getting his second in command Kris killed.” My heart suddenly starts racing, and my mouth goes dry. When I grab my chest, Wolf looks at me, concerned and worried.

“I never asked him to save me,” I say as my breathing suddenly begins to speed up.

“Sasha?” I hear his voice beside me, but the word treason is ringing in my ears like a blaring trumpet.

“It’s all my fault...” The only thing I can get out at this point is the first feeling that aches in my chest, but Wolf instantly tightens his grip on me as he turns my head so I can look at him.

“Sasha, baby, it’s not your fault; whatever Atlas decided to do is on him, not you.” I’m nodding as I look at him, but it doesn’t stop my brain from racing. Treason... that word stings the tip of my tongue with such disdain. How could any father want to do that to his son?

Edith suddenly hands me a cup of tea; looking down at it, I slowly take it from her. As I begin to sip it slowly, I can’t get this feeling out of my head; if Atlas winds up in prison, could I just stand by and allow that to happen? Suddenly, I’m wishing for something stronger in this tea.

“Why would his father want to sentence him to prison for saving my life? If I’m this supposed princess, isn’t that what he was meant to do?” Shaking her head, she sighs.

“Not exactly; there is so much you don’t know, things kept from you in hopes of protecting you. I wish now that I hadn’t listened to your father for all those years.” Sighing, she looks at me with concern in her eyes. “Atlas was ordered to capture Lisbon, not to save you.” I can only nod in response, and my mouth instantly dries again.

“Ronan is a purist; he was mated to your mother for five years. Chosen, not fated, he always had this idea of a pure realm of witches; he wanted to get rid of what he considers half-breed witches.”

“Wait, back up.” I suddenly say as I look up at her from my dazed state, “My mother was mated to this Ronan guy?”

“Yes,” She nods. “The long short of it is, she ran away from him and came here. Then, he found your father and discovered they were true fated mates. Ronan tried to replace her, but your mother had a powerful and magical enchantment placed over Erebus, which still stands today, so he never could. He mated again to Atlas’s mother, and well, that’s the beginning of a whole other story.” At that moment, a dire realization suddenly hits me, and it almost suffocates me.

“Lisbon was in love with Ronan, wasn’t she?” Edith suddenly frowns, like she didn’t expect me to put two and two together that fast, but I heard Lisbon and Atlas talking last night before all the chaos began.

“How did you...?”

“So it’s true, Lisbon wanted Ronan, so she killed Atlas’s mother. Is that the real reason Lisbon killed my mother, because of Ronan?” The sudden silence and horrified look on Edith’s face confirm it to be true.

“Tell me one thing,” I say with a sudden stern expression, “You said that Ronan’s a purist. Is that why he couldn’t be with Lisbon because she’s not pure?” The question throws Edith somewhat off; clearing her throat, she shrugs with a sigh.

“Yana and Lisbon shared the same father, the King, and ruler at that time of reign. But they had different mothers...”

She doesn’t even have to continue with that sentence for me to be able to fill in the gaps; my mother was pure, and Lisbon was not.

Nodding, I scoff as I shake my head at her,

“So this is all to do with some lover quarrel gone wrong. Lisbon has a thing for this Ronan guy, and that’s why she wanted my mother dead?”

Wolf suddenly wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him; I can feel a wave of uncontrollable anger begin to surface as my wolf presents herself in my eyes. The warmth of Wolf’s touch instantly being the only thing soothing me.

“It’s way more complicated than that; there is no love lost between Ronan and Lisbon; she only ever wanted him because Yana had him. And Ronan would never take someone beneath him, so he would never have wanted anything to do with Lisbon.”

“Are you sure?” I ask her skeptically.

“This Ronan guy sounds like a real dick if you ask me.” Wolf suddenly pipes up.

“He’s not the easiest person to deal with; I’ve only ever heard of how terrifying he can be. I’ve never met him; rumor has it he doesn’t set foot out of the witch’s realm.” Edith shrugs.

“How is it you know so much about witches, Edith?” Wolf suddenly asks, curiosity swirling around in his eyes.

“I was brought up by them, abandoned as a pup, and a white lighter witch took me in. So I know the way of the witches, yet I have never been able to go into the witch’s realm.”

“Why not?” I suddenly ask, confused.

“I’m a wolf; they don’t tolerate wolves coming into their realm. They will kill first and ask questions after.” Swallowing hard, I slowly look down at my hands. I’m fidgeting with my fingers, and Wolf instantly notices this.

“There’s something else you should know,” Edith says suddenly, looking me in the eye. “Both Atlas and you were born under the same star, share the same birthday, and are the same age, eighteen years old. As much as you don’t want to hear this right now, he is your fated mate, Sam.” The moment those words come out of her, I’m suddenly shaking my head vigorously as I jump up and fist my hands by my side.

“No! I have my mate. Wolf is my mate, both fated and chosen. We’ve sealed our mark and completed the mate bond.” I’m horrified by what she said, and Wolf’s immediate growl beside me makes it damn clear how he feels about it, too.

“Yes, Wolf is your fated wolf mate.” She says as she holds her hands up to calm us down, “But Atlas is your...”

“Don’t even fucking say it.” Wolf suddenly growls, his beast already pushing to the surface. His body feels rigid and tense, the energy bouncing off him in waves and hitting me in the back. I guess now it’s my turn to soothe him before he kills someone, namely Atlas. Turning around, I’m suddenly on his lap; he’s pulled me there, claiming me possessively against his chest. I instantly snuggle into his hold to comfort him; it works. He slowly begins to calm down just enough not to go on a rampage and lose it completely. Have you ever had to tell an Alpha male that their mate also belongs to someone else? Trust me, it never ends well for the other guy.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Edith says compassionately. “All I’m saying is what I know. I’ve known Atlas since he was a little boy; he used to sit just up at the top of the hill of Erebus looking in, watching you as you played in the back garden.”

Clenching my jaw, I suddenly narrow my eyes at her,

“Why didn’t he ever come and talk to me? Why would he hide away and watch me like some creepy stalker? And why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“He was forbidden to, and so was I. Ronan warned him if he ever came into contact with you without his consent, he would lock him away until the day that he died. Ronan already has someone picked out for Atlas, a pure blood. She doesn’t have princess blood like you do, but her blood is also not tainted with...”

“Wolf’s blood,” I suddenly say with a sarcastic smirk as the penny instantly drops. “I’m a hybrid, not pure blood.” My jaw clenches into a scowl. And I don’t know why that fact suddenly stings my chest, but it does.

Knowing that someone considers me less than worthy, I should be used to it; I spent my entire life being told there was something wrong with me as a wolf. To hear that the King of the white lighter witches doesn’t see any value in me either; it shouldn’t come as any surprise, I guess. And yet, it still hurts.

“Look, speak to Atlas before he leaves. There are some things he needs to talk to you about before he goes.”

“No way, I’m not letting him anywhere near her.” Wolf suddenly growls, but Edith merely gives Wolf a stern yet apologetic look.

“Wolf, she is yours. The moon has already confirmed and sealed it, but there is a world beyond this one. Where witches preside over all, and in that world, a war is about to break out over her and what she is, don’t you understand... She’s a threat to everything Ronan is trying to accomplish.”

And as I sit in Wolf’s arms, I suddenly have this hollow feeling inside me that I can’t quite place. If Ronan decides to do away with what he considers to be half-breed witches, how many will die because of it, and will I be next on that list?