I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him – Chapter 22

I wake up with a start, my heart beating vigorously, sweat beading

on my forehead, and my breathing is irregular.

A dream! ….A f*****g nightmare!

I sigh, relieved to see that this is not reality. I try to resume normal breathing, I look around me… I am alone in this huge bed, fortunately.

Seeing Xavier by my side would be really strange after this damn nightmare.

I get out of bed still in shock and rush to the bathroom to relieve my bladder.

I leave the room and cross the long corridor that leads to the stairs.

I go downstairs to go to the living room, I look around, no sign of life.

A delicious smell tickles my nostrils, my stomach gurgles and I am

already salivating.

I head towards the kitchen and remain unmoved by seeing the table already made and filled with good things.

The man of my fantasies is cooking what seems to me to be eggs, he is facing away, letting me admire his broad bare shoulders, his muscular back…he is wearing the same jogging pants as the day before which gives him a killer a*s. ..Damn Liya since when have you been so perverted?

“Good morning,” I finally said to get his attention.

He turns around immediately revealing one of his most beautiful smiles.

— you’re finally awake, settle down, I’m almost finished.. .. .

You don’t have to tell me twice, I impatiently take a seat under his mocking look and begin to taste the delicious pieces of cheese.

He approaches me and places a large plate of ham omelette next to me, I’m going to enjoy it.

I freeze when he pulls up a chair and places it next to me. too close for my taste.

He settles there under my insistent gaze and my full mouth, not very glamorous I admit.

He snatches the bread that was in my hands and begins to eat from the same plate as me, his leg brushes against mine…this proximity reminds me of the first time he was at our house and he was explaining to me those damn English exercises.

And today I replace myself in his beautiful home, we eat together as if all this was normal… when it is not at all.

My eyes cannot tear themselves away from the spectacle he offers me, he swallows large mouthfuls between his thin lips, he eats with appetite, sometimes closing his icy blue eyes. His unshaven beard around his square jaw fascinates me…and I hate him more and more for having such thoughts about this man who is forbidden to me.

I suddenly have no appetite anymore,

“You haven’t eaten much,” he reproaches me.

I simply shrug my shoulders in response, avoiding his captivating gaze, I take a tissue to wipe my chocolate-covered fingers but he stops me by encircling my wrist with his warm palm

.

I look at him with incomprehension and remain stunned by his

indecent gesture.

Her tempting lips wrap around my index finger, her beautiful blue pupils never take their eyes off me as if to watch for each of my reactions.

My lower abdomen twists and shivers run through me when his hot tongue wraps around

my finger as his teeth enjoy biting it.

My cheeks catch fire, my heart rate accelerates and my legs tighten together… what the f**k are these strange sensations that he gives rise to in me?

He gently removes his lips, leaving a trail of his saliva.

“Delicious,” he murmurs.

His look alone is enough to put me in all my states.

I jump when his phone on the table rings. He sighs exasperated, glances at the screen then picks up immediately.

“Yes, James,” he thunders.

I take advantage of this moment to get up from the table but he grabs my arm to encourage me to stay.

I break away from his grip, giving him a dark look, and clear the table under his curious look. I can see his gaze wandering along my body, which makes me uncomfortable and prevents me from walking properly.

I start to do the dishes, I no longer hear his hoarse voice, which means he has finished talking with his colleague.

I refrain from turning around to see what he is doing and just continue rinsing the plates.

And yet in the next second, I feel his warm breath ruffle the hairs on the back of my neck, his imposing body brushes against mine and his large hands which immobilize my fingers from any activity.

“Leave it,” he whispers in my ear. .

I close my eyes for a moment to savor his presence and bite the inside of

my wheel to compose myself.

— It doesn’t bother me” I say in a low voice, short of breath, disturbed by his proximity.

He doesn’t remove his hands, on the contrary, he tightens his grip and moves

closer, pressing his body against mine.

I hate him immensely. .and yet my body…my lips demand it.

Immediately the image of my angry mother in my dream comes to mind.

Damn! It’s bad…it’s my mother..and her fiancé

— Stop… I. I can’t do this to my mother, it’s atrocious… If she really matters to you,

I wait for his reaction after my monologue…long seconds pass without him reacting.

He moves away from me, I don’t even have time to feel his heat evaporate from my skin before he suddenly turns me to face him.

He grips my h**s possessively as I cry out in surprise and

lifts me up to place me on the table.

He impatiently places his warm lips against mine. His k**s is urgent, vital, wild.

I replace myself giving in to him easily…I wanted to, since the first time he kissed me I have never been able to forget the softness of his lips, their sweet and forbidden taste which makes me lose my mind. head .

I don’t have any experience but I know he’s a divine kisser.

His hands on my h**s, they grip them firmly, bringing my pelvis closer to his, revealing to me without embarrassment the burning desire that is hidden under his jogging pants.

It’s really me who puts him in this state of excitement…I can only be shamefully happy, satisfied to feel like a woman in his eyes.

He bites my lower l*p to seal our tongues and a wild dance ensues.

I put my hands around his shoulders to hold myself close to him and get closer.

I pull violently on his hair and he caresses my right blade without

gentleness, driven by our wild desire.

His other hand wanders along my stomach through my shirt. She

climbs higher to forcefully grab my chest, I m**n against her

lips.

Not knowing all the new sensations he gives me, he stops his fierce k**s to nestle in the hollow of my neck.

I want it…I want it so much that it hurts.

— Xavier.” I m**n when he greedily bites the sensitive flesh of my

neck.

He growls like an animal against my burning skin, but he stops all

movement and straightens up to meet my gaze.

His pupils are dilated like mine imagines it and our jerky breaths mix.

He devours my lips with his gaze making me hope that he will k**s me again

, but he steps back and helps me get down from the table

— It was… for a last time…from now on I won’t approach you anymore” he said in his hoarse voice which betrayed his ever present desire.

I swallow with difficulty…one last time! Damn, he shouldn’t have kissed me and touched me like he did so well to get that out of me afterwards.

Before he leaves the kitchen, he glances at me over his shoulder and says impassively:

– Go get ready, I’ll drop you off at college.

Go to hell a*****e!! .

During the journey he remains silent as a tomb as if I did not exist, he seems normal to me while I am upset inside.

I force myself not to stare at his long fingers which were recently caressing my burning skin, at his square jaw which brushed my neck, at his arms which comforted me all night… I try to concentrate on

the road but I am surprised to see that

we have already arrived and that he parks in front of the university.

It’s time for me to get out of this vehicle but I stay there motionless waiting for I don’t know what.

I look at him for a moment, his fingers are gripping the steering wheel tightly, and his jaw is clenched.

He looks straight ahead, never glancing at me.

From what I see he is keeping his word, he will not approach me again…

Without a word, I get out of this car which I had nothing to do inside and rush through the big gate.

It’s better this way..for him.my mother..and me!

I lazily cross the long corridor of the university. I wonder

why I came.

I would have been better off staying at home under my blanket. no it was

impossible since there was my mother!

I spot a brown tuft…Inaya! I rush towards her, a smile on

my lips.

— Hello you!” I say, when I reach her.

My smile fades when I see her sullen face.

— Yeah, that’s it, hello, she says.

— Why this face?

— in your opinion? Yesterday you You disappeared like that without telling me anything, she reproaches me.

Oh shit! I had completely forgotten! We enter the amphitheater and take a place at the back.

— Really sorry, I completely forgot to warn you, m I apologized.

As a response, she shakes her hand indifferently.

– Let’s forget that, let’s talk about more interesting things instead. I saw you going out with Gabriel, tell me about your torrid night instead, she gets impatient, getting closer of me.

I squirm in my chair, uncomfortable with this conversation.

— Nothing happened, we just kissed and then he went home, I say.

She frowns. surely not believing in my lie then leans towards me to smell my scent.

—And where does that male smell that sticks to your skin come from? , she continues with a naughty smile on her lips.

Piss off! A quick excuse…anything.

— He lent me his sweater and I slept with it,” I said impassively.

She taps her index finger against her chin, pretending to think.

— If I remember correctly, he didn’t wear a sweater…stop talking. take me for an idiot and tell me what happened, she continues.

I purse my lips thinking about what lie I could invent but I sigh inwardly when Yanis appears..I have never been so happy to see him.

— You won’t get away with it like that, we’ll continue our discussion later, she whispers.

I roll my eyes annoyed at my friend and place my face in my

hands.

The teacher begins to do his class and I have no desire to follow.

The minutes pass, I try to concentrate on the imposing silhouette of there is but nothing can be done! My eyelids become heavy, Inaya speaks to me sometimes but I do deaf ear and soon his voice becomes distant…

I don’t hear any noise around me, which is really strange!

I emerge from my sleep and I am surprised to meet the gaze of Yanis right in front of me, standing with her hands buried in her pockets who is staring at me with a smile on her lips.

I immediately sit up uncomfortably and notice that the room is empty.

– Slept well ?

His hoarse and imposing voice echoes in the empty room and his eyes inspect me for a long time.

— Yes, very good!” I replied insolently.

He takes two steps in my direction, a strange expression distorts his face.

— My course doesn’t interest you in what I see

— I was just exhausted, I replied .

He comes closer to me and I have to raise my head to meet his

dark gaze.

— The other days too?! It’s these courses that I’m doing recently that will come out for the final exam. And if you fail this test , I promise you that for the catch-up it will be lost in advance, he whispers in a cold tone that makes my

b***d run cold.

— You are cruel, I lost my temper.

— Like all teachers, I suppose, replies he says.

My jaw tightens as he leans towards me so that our faces are only a few centimeters apart. “

I could give you lessons…it would be a pleasure to be able to help you,” he whispers. he.

His minty breath meets my face, and his black eyes stare at me intensely.

— No thank you.

I get up, disturbed by his proximity and his gaze, but he holds me by the wrist, forcing me to face him.

He takes out a small sheet of paper from his jacket, I bite the inside of my cheek when his hand wanders over my buttocks to bury this little piece of paper in the pocket of my jeans.

— My number…if you change your mind,

he said in a low voice.

A noise behind us attracts our attention, he steps back nonchalantly and releases me from his grip.

I see Inaya staring at us with big eyes, I glare at Yanis then I rush towards her.

She pulls me by the arm and encourages me to go down the stairs that lead to the exit.

— I didn’t know you were screwing Gabriel’s brother, ” she gets carried away.

I widen my eyes, not believing what I just heard.

— You’re sick Inaya, of course not. He just offers me his help as I don’t understand his lessons.

We cross the garden and then sit on a bench.

— Hm if you say so, I can tell that from the look in his eyes he likes you! And otherwise I need it too, can we do this course together?

— I didn’t say yes to him Inaya!, I whispered.

— I don’t want to go on a catch-up course. So you better accept. And you know you’re lucky to have two guys at your feet.

— Stop talking nonsense…

She stares at something behind me with a smile on her lips.

— The little brother is coming, she says.

I I turn around to meet Gabriel’s angelic face. Arriving at our level, he greets us then settles down next to me. —

So how are you? Did you sleep well?” he asks me.

He circles my shoulders, pulling me closer to him so that my back meets his strong chest.

I swallow my saliva with difficulty, I feel strange, I feel a lump in my

stomach…

— Yes very well, And you? I replied.

He buries his face in the crook of my neck to place a sweet k**s there…and

I close my mouth to savor his contact and concentrate on his hands caressing the back of my neck and yet I can’t do it..

It’s is rather the image of Xavier that comes to mind, his virile hands caressing me, his warm breath against my neck, what he manages to make me feel with a simple look is much stronger, more intense. .

— I thought about you all night… about your smell. your body…everything, he whispers to me

hollow of my ear.

His words must warm my heart which instead presses painfully against my chest, I feel bad.

I was in the arms of another while… shit I’m despicable, I don’t deserve Gabriel.

– What’s wrong?!” he worries

– Nothing…everything is fine, I tried to articulate. .

He tenderly caresses my cheek and places his soft lips against

mine.

I circle his cheeks covered with a slight beard and responds ardently to

his k**s to forget. forget what ‘another man makes me feel.

He smiles against my lips satisfied by my initiative…if you knew!

It’s after 6 p.m. and I am exhausted. After taking the bus, I walk

a few more good meters to finally arrive in front of my home.

I insert the key then open the door, I enter the living room when a delicious smell of lasagna tickles my nostrils.

I I enter the kitchen and without surprise I see my mother cooking. A smile stretches my lips when I see her! Although I am angry with her, I missed her, her presence, her delicious dishes, our good habits…

— Good evening, darling, she says when she notices my presence.

— Good evening, mom.

She wipes her hands with a towel and displays a tense smile.

– Do you want me to help you ? , I suggested.

She nods eagerly, I approach her and take some vegetables out of the fridge which I rinse. I start cutting them out when she speaks.

— You know…I wanted to apologize for yesterday…I…I went too far…I didn’t mean what I said…, she begins.

It’s true that she hurt me…but it’s nothing compared to what I did to her yesterday. I’m disgusted, she doesn’t deserve all this.

I stop cutting the onions when she puts her hand on my shoulder. I meet his desolate look and my guilt increases

– It’s nothing mom, let’s forget all that, I say in a low voice.

She caresses my cheek with her soft hand then takes me in her arms.

I hold her tightly against me and enjoy her warmth, her comforting smell that I had missed.

— I would like to meet this young man who accompanied you,

why not invite him to dinner with us? she suggests.

No, mom, I don’t think that’s a good idea!

I finally replace myself alone after spending the evening with mom.

I’m lying on the bed, cell phone in one hand and Yanis’ number in the other.

I hesitate to send him a message, it’s true that he is unbearable but in my case his help will be welcome. So I finally decided to send it to him.

— Good evening, is your “help” still working? There is .

I waited a long time before getting a response from him.

“Tomorrow at 6 p.m….does that suit you? »

I think for a moment and remember that I finish my classes at 4 p.m., so it’s perfect!

I tell him yes, m and give him my address. He doesn’t respond to my

message, I throw my phone at the other end of the bed and wait impatiently for Morpheus.

The next day

It’s almost 6 p.m., Inaya and I are settled in my room while quietly waiting for the arrival of our dear teacher.

She has been inspecting my cupboard for a while, horrified by what she replaces inside.

— Are these ultra sexy underwear really yours? she was surprised

– Well yes, why? I said with furrowed eyebrows.

— I imagined you with something from my grandmother.

I throw a pillow at her face and she bursts out laughing.

— Oh no already?!” she breathes when the doorbell rings.

We go down the steps together, she sits on the veranda and I take care of opening the door.

I face a calm Yanis, dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans, it’s a

huge change from the shirts he puts on all day long.

I encourage him to come in, he looks around with a smile on his face.

— Follow me, I say.

I take him outside where Inaya is waiting for us, when he sees my friend, he

frowns. Yes my handsome, do you think I’m going to take the risk of

staying alone with you in the same room?

He settles down and greets Inaya coldly. I hold back my smile at his

cheerful look and sit next to them

. We take out our documents and he begins his lesson.

More than two hours pass and we are almost finished.

Inaya takes a look at his phone , she bites her lower l*p and gives me an apologetic look.

“I have to go Liya,” she said in a small voice.

She hastens to put her things away under my murderous gaze.

“We’re almost finished, you can wait a few more minutes,” I said through

gritted teeth.

She leans towards me and puts her ear to my ear.

— Sorry my dear but my Apollo has been waiting for me for a good half hour.

I want to strangle her, we agreed that she won’t leave until Yanis leaves the house, damn it.

I nervously run my hand through my hair, now replaceing myself

alone with this man.

An amused smile stretches his lips, he gets up from his place to sit right next to me.

—Where were we again? , he said, taking my papers from my hands.

He continues his explanation as seriously as possible. I concentrate as best I can to finish it as quickly as possible.

I am tense like a bow when he sometimes brushes against my fingers or my

shoulder, or when he leans in my direction bringing

his face closer to mine.

We finish after about twenty minutes. I put my papers in my binder under his insistent gaze.

— The third person was not welcome, he whispers.

I look at him with a raised eyebrow and meet his serious expression, he lights a cigarette,

looks at me and blows the smoke out of my face.

“You’re sick,” I said, moving my hand to clear away the smoke.

He shrugs his shoulders and hands me his pack of Marlboros. I’m taking one because

I really want it.

The cigarette between my lips waits for him to hand me his lighter. but he leans

in my direction and takes charge of lighting it for me without taking his

eyes off me. He stares at my lips and at me, his irises so dark that disturb me.

Dark look eyes…the dark color of his eyes are fascinating.

His beard is growing and I think it suits him quite well, he’s not as handsome as Gabriel but he has crazy charm.

— are you in love with my brother?

I remain stunned by his question! What if I’m in love?! I don’t know myself, I like it a lot yes, but from there to falling in love with it…

– Why this question?” I asked after a long moment.

He puts out his cigarette, throws it away then meets my gaze.

He turns leans in my direction, I tense when he closes the few centimeters that separate our faces.

His cheek brushes and slides against mine, his beard tickles my cold skin, he stops when his lips touch my ear. —

I think know the answer, he whispers.

He steps back, a satisfied smile on his lips, he collects his keys from the table under my lost gaze then gets up to leave without a word. Hey!