In The Name of Love
27: Secret

One of the hardest things to get used to about Adelhyod, in Kai’s opinion, is the sheer size of the place. The servants have always been helpful when he’s made a wrong turn trying to replace his way outside or to the room where King Ansgar meets with nobles about matters of policy or even back to his own suite, but Kai feels bad asking for help. Everyone else acts like Adelhyod is normal, like they belong here. Maybe coming here was a mistake, he worries. At least three of my father’s manor house could fit in here. I’m not sure I’ll ever fit in.

But his goal isn’t to fit in, not long term, and Karl and Ingemar, at least, were glad to see him in yesterday’s meeting on taxation policy. Karl is at Court now with his father, learning everything he will need to know to fill the role of Viscount someday. Ingemar, like Kai, is here in place of his father. All three of their families had the same idea after Minna’s Quest for Favor, Kai assumes: Send your sons to Court to improve their chances with the younger princess.

The idea makes Kai’s stomach turn. On the one hand, he knows that having some choice, rather than none whatsoever, in whom they will marry is a boon for the princesses. However, he hates the idea of treating people as prizes to be competed for and squabbled over, the way some of Princess Wilhelmina’s suitors behaved. Father and Birgitta will likely be adamant that I compete anyway, he muses as he meanders through the wing of Adelhyod that houses all the nobles who are at Court to serve the King. Today King Ansgar is closeted with the Ambassador from Syazonia, discussing wedding and travel arrangements, Kai would guess, which has left him and the other nobles with nothing to do. While others are drinking or gambling or reading or talking to one another, Kai has chosen to wander and get lost in thought, hoping that he may perhaps run into Karl or Ingemar or someone else worth speaking to.

There should be plenty of time before Fifi’s Quest for Favor. Time to help her replace a way out, if she wants one. He hasn’t asked her if she does, and has no idea what he might suggest if she said she did. Sigurd’s warning to be cautious echoes in his head. Am I crazy for thinking she might want out? Certainly her life is more opulent than his has ever been; Adelhyod is sumptuously furnished, and the meals are regular and delicious. Still, he cannot help but think that Fifi might want a different kind of life, especially after seeing her sketchbook. Her work shows deep appreciation and understanding of nature, and Kai cannot imagine that, as a princess, she has been free to explore the natural world as she might like to. Compared to the forests of Lyrnola and the vibrant countryside he rode through between the castle and his father’s estate, the courtyards of Adelhyod are lacking in Kai’s estimation, but they’re the only nature Fifi has regular access to. Is she taking advantage of a courtyard now? Best not to explore that, not yet. If their positions were reversed, Kai would be using the courtyards all the time as a place where he could be alone, without servants or wedding plans demanding his attention, and he wouldn’t want to ruin that for her. No guarantee she would want to see me, anyway.

Kai pauses outside of one of the doors along the corridor, the door to Ingemar’s suite. He knows that Karl prefers not to rise before noon, but Ingemar has professed no such distaste for mornings. On a whim, Kai knocks on the door, which opens as if of its own accord. Must not have been securely latched, Kai guesses. He’s probably inside.

“Hello? Ingemar?” he calls. No one answers. Perturbed, Kai ventures into the suite. It looks much like his own: elegant, highly polished wooden furniture with embroidered cushions, wooden floors with woven woolen rugs, a fire crackling on the hearth. Ingemar’s suite is cleaner than Kai’s, though, and Kai’s doesn’t have a folding paper screen painted with intricate geometric patterns. Did he bring that from home?

Kai moves closer to examine the screen’s craftsmanship. The floorboards creak under his feet. Behind the screen, a chair screeches on the floor, making Kai jump.

“What are you doing here?” Ingemar’s voice snaps as he comes around the screen, a cosmetic brush in one hand and a dagger in the other. His characteristic stubble is missing from one side of his face, and without his doublet and jerkin over his linen shirt, his slim physique suddenly looks more feminine than masculine.

“I’m sorry. The door was open,” Kai explains, averting his eyes. “I called for you—”

“Close it.” Ingemar jerks his knife towards the door.

“I can just leave if—”

“Not now that you’ve seen me like this. Close the door.” He advances a step towards Kai, brandishing his weapon.

Kai complies with slow movements, keeping his eyes on the floor. He doesn’t want to upset Ingemar further. Is that his—her?—real name? What is going on? he wonders, but he doesn’t know how to ask. His hair is shorter than mine. The voice…a little high for a man, but deep for a woman.

“Thank you,” Ingemar says once the door thumps closed and the latch clicks shut. He circles Kai slowly, like a cat closing in on its prey. “Now. Terms. You will tell no one what you’ve seen here today. Or I will kill you.”

“That won’t be necessary. I can keep a secret,” Kai assures Ingemar. “But…I have to ask…. Who are you, really?”

Ingemar freezes and draws himself to his full height, taller than Kai by a small margin. For a long moment, they stare at each other, eyes locked. Ingemar looks to be considering his options. We’ve been on friendly terms. They won’t try to kill me, not over a simple mistake like this, Kai tells himself.

“Swear to me that you will speak nothing of this. Swear on something sacred, something meaningful. A vow not easily broken.” Amber eyes bore into Kai with ferocious intensity. Whoever this person is, Kai has no doubt they will use the dagger with deadly force.

“I swear on my mother’s grave I will say nothing to anyone of what transpires, and has transpired, here this morning.”

The other person’s face softens and their muscles relax, though the dagger remains ready in one hand. “I would have preferred a vow on Chuezoh’s head, but I suppose that will do.”

“What name should I call you?”

“Ingemar, of course.”

“I mean, yes, out there, obviously.” Kai gestures towards the door. “But…that’s not….”

“No. It’s my brother’s name. My twin. He’s…sick. Very sick. Wracking cough, sunken eyes, dreadfully thin. He can barely manage to walk himself to the privy and back to bed without help. It’s…heartbreaking.”

“I’m so sorry. If I knew a healer who could help—”

“We’ve tried everything. Even found a cybrinn.”

Kai arches an eyebrow, surprised; most people who follow Chuezoh view cybrinn as heretics and would sooner see them executed than seek their aid.

“All he could do was ease the symptoms,” Ingemar’s twin continues with slumped shoulders and despondent eyes, oblivious to Kai’s reaction. “He said we’d just have to pray and wait and see. My brother has good days and bad days. But our mother died of an illness like his years ago, and our father can’t bear to look at Ingemar in his current state. He’s always working on some new improvement project at the manor or drowning his sorrows in ale. And so, when it came time for Minna’s Quest for Favor….”

“You decided to come in Ingemar’s place,” Kai guesses.

“And in my father’s, since this has been working so well. Until you barged in here.”

“I swear, the door just fell open when I knocked.”

“Vashrua’s hair, one would think the servants here would take more care than to leave doors unlatched in their comings and goings.” A heavy sigh escapes the imposter’s lips. “I suppose I should count my blessings, that you’re the one who discovered me, if someone had to. I’ve no doubt that many other men would have run to report me to the King or the priest as a witch. You will never use my true name if anyone else is present, but I was born Solveig of Nulmyr.”

“It’s a pleasure to properly meet you, Solveig. As I swore, I will tell no one. We all have our secrets to keep, and I understand, to some degree, your predicament. My family is placing tremendous pressure on me to be here and improve our fortunes. I simply wonder that yours hasn’t arranged a marriage for you to that end, that you’ve been able to come here like this at all.”

A sharp, bitter laugh escapes Solveig’s lips. “I don’t think Father has noticed my absence, and Ingemar’s too sick to stop me even if he wanted to. Neither of them will be arranging anything for me. I don’t mind, anyway. Pretending to be my brother has been much more fun than acting as the lady of the house. After watching Princess Wilhelmina entertain her suitors, I want no part in such things. As Ingemar, I have freedom to make my own choices.”

Kai doesn’t know how to respond. He knows only too well what it is to hide his true self from the world, but he dares not tell a seemingly devout follower of Chuezoh that he is a cybrinn, and he’s never been society’s captive the way noble daughters are.

“Well. As much fun as this has been. You should go, so I can finish getting ready,” Solveig prompts, pointing towards the door with her cosmetic brush. “If the King has no need of us today, perhaps we can go for a ride with Karl this afternoon?”

“I’ll be in the courtyard by the main gate whenever you’re ready and he’s awake.”

A/N: Curious about Solveig and Ingemar? Check ou