In The Name of Love
60: Worried

The golden light of the setting sun replaces Kai riding Varsel on a roundabout route from Sigurd’s grove back to his father’s manor house. He and his mentor have spent most of their days together since the royal wedding entourage left Lyrnola. Their main priority at this time of year is boosting the crops of Lyrnola’s farmers so that the Earl’s exorbitant taxes won’t ruin them, and this summer is no different. Kai smiles at their success as he rides through the flourishing fields around Lonyr, but that’s not his only cause for smiling; after much debate and persuading, Sigurd has finally agreed to help him create a place for Fifi with them in the forest, and they have managed to make progress towards that goal, as well.

Rapid hoofbeats on the main road draw Kai’s attention as he approaches it from the dirt lane Varsel is trotting down. All he can make out, with the sun shining in his eyes from the west, are silhouettes of two men on horseback and the clanking of armor. His spine prickles; armor denotes rank, and high-ranking people don’t typically visit Lyrnola except by invitation of Fritjof and Birgitta. Who are they trying to flatter this time? he wonders.

“Kai!” one of them calls to him, and then both horsemen swing their mounts toward him, plunging off the main road and onto the narrow lane between two wheat fields.

“Karl?” Kai asks, apprehension turning to confusion. “What are you doing here? I thought—”

“We came to warn you,” the other horseman, whose voice reveals him to be Ingemar, replies in a low, foreboding tone as their mounts clatter to a halt in front of Varsel. “We’ve taken scout duty for the King and his soldiers so that we could get here in time. Good on you for being away from the manor house.”

Cold dread settles in Kai’s stomach. That letter Fifi’s sister was going to write, he guesses. “What business does the King have coming here with soldiers?”

“He got a letter from Princess Wilhelmina not too long ago, telling him that the Earl and Countess are engaging in some pretty egregious misconduct,” Karl confirms Kai’s suspicions. “He trusts her implicitly but intends to see for himself before meting out judgment. But he’s not planning to show any mercy if he replaces what she wrote that he would.”

“He probably will,” Kai mutters. “Comparing the condition of Lonyr to the condition of their manor house ought to be damnation enough.” He gestures towards the ramshackle outbuildings of the village a short distance down the main road from them.

“All the more reason for our warning,” Ingemar says, eyes flashing.

“I appreciate it. Is he planning to exempt the servants from—”

“We can intercede for them. And I don’t think he bears them any ill will. Like as not he’ll leave them to serve whomever he installs as the new Earl and Countess. But there’s nothing we can do to keep you from sharing in whatever punishment he inflicts. He’s made it quite clear that you should share the blame for not reporting their misconduct to him yourself.”

Guilt wraps cold, leaden tendrils around Kai’s limbs and torso. “I wasn’t familiar enough with the laws to be sure that they were in violation, or I would have.” Determination stiffens his spine and strengthens his voice. “But it’s too late now. Thank you for the warning. I’ll tell the staff, get some supplies, and disappear.”

“Make haste,” Karl advises as Kai turns Varsel around, planning to take a shortcut back to his father’s manor house.

“May Chuezoh guide you,” Ingemar calls after him as he urges Varsel into a gallop. Kai raises an arm to wave at his friends. They’ve taken quite a risk to come warn him like this, and he’s grateful. He doesn’t know whether or when he might see them again, but he hopes to be able to someday offer them proper thanks for what they’ve done for him.

Varsel skids to a halt in the courtyard outside the door to the kitchens of the Earl of Lyrnola’s manor house. Kai leaps off the horse’s back and darts inside, knowing the kitchen will be bustling with preparations for the evening meal.

“Young Lord!” Albin’s creaky voice greets Kai as he enters the smoky, noisy kitchen. “What brings you here?”

Breathlessly, Kai tells Albin what he’s learned from Ingemar and Karl. “Warn the staff. Don’t tell the Lord and Lady. They’ve been horrid to all of you and deserve whatever the King gives them.”

“But what about you?”

“I have a plan. I just came to tell you what’s happening, and say goodbye, and—”

“You’ll want these,” one of the cooks interrupts, thrusting a bulging sack at Kai. He opens it to replace it stuffed with bread, cheese, jerky, and other foods that will last at least a day or two. Tears prick the backs of Kai’s eyes.

“Thank you, Ragna.”

“Don’t fuss. Be safe, and someday we’ll meet again, Chuezoh willing.”

“Now go,” Albin adds, patting Kai on the back. “From what you said, you don’t have much time.”

Kai nods but can’t help giving both Albin and Ragna quick hugs before leaving the kitchen and swinging onto Varsel’s back again, still holding the provisions they’ve given him. Pressure builds in his chest and eyes as he rides away from the manor house. Please keep them safe, Kai prays to Cybarei as he and his mount return to the forest. Don’t let the king harm the staff. They’ve done nothing wrong.

Another thought chills him as the trees block out all sight of Lonyr and the manor house behind him: How will he get word to Fifi about what’s happened?

Sigurd will know what to do, he reassures himself. Sigurd has yet to steer him wrong, and right now, Sigurd is the only one who can protect him from the wrath of the king.

***~O~***

“I don’t need protection, I need to replace my sister!” Fifi snaps, still struggling in vain as Didier pulls her with him away from the crowd of panicking wedding guests.

“I’ll replace her for you once I’m sure you’re safe,” Didier retorts, flinging open the door to the women’s drawing room that Fifi had so desperately wanted to escape to when the dancing started. Inside, Minna sits on a chaise lounge, wide-eyed with fear as tears streak through her cosmetics. A few other people are also in the drawing room, but Fifi doesn’t pay them any mind.

“Minna!” Fifi wrenches her arm away from Didier and runs to her sister’s side. “I’m so glad I found you! Are you all right? What’s going on? Where’s Adalberto?”

“He went to help the king,” Minna answers, her voice breaking. Her eyes stare into middle distance as more tears glide down her face.

“What happened?” Didier asks.

“One of the Barhestans had a knife. He got close to the king during the dancing, and…. There was so much blood. The king collapsed…..” A sob tears out of Minna’s throat and she buries her head in Fifi’s shoulder. Fifi wraps her arms around Minna while she tries to wrap her mind around what she’s told them.

“That wretch must pay! Do you know if they’ve caught the culprit?” Didier demands.

Minna just shakes her head. “Emiliano and Casimiro were chasing him…” she chokes out.

“Will you be all right if I go back to try to help the king?” Fifi whispers to Minna as the beginnings of a plan sprout in her head. She has all of her healing herbs hidden in pockets in her gown, and the gown and her jewelry boast plenty of gemstones.

“I’ll go help them. Justice must be served. You both stay here, where it’s safe,” Didier directs, and then he leaves the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

“No! What are you saying?!” Minna demands, looking at Fifi with wild tearstained eyes. “It’s bad enough that Adalberto’s out there with an assassin! I don’t want to lose you! I can’t…” Her voice trails off as more sobs overtake her.

“She’s traumatized, poor thing,” one of the other women in the room remarks to Fifi. “Can’t say I blame her. She and Prince Adalberto were close to the king when it happened….”

Fifi nods, biting her lip as she hugs her sister, rocking them back and forth in a motion she hopes is soothing. I could heal him. I could fix this, she keeps thinking, over and over, but she doesn’t know how to convince her sister of this, and it’s clear that Minna should not be left alone.

“We’re supposed to have time,” Minna cries, breaking off into distressed hiccups. “Adalberto and I…. We’re supposed to have time.”

“You’ll have time,” Fifi says soothingly, stroking Minna’s hair.

“But what if he dies? Adalberto will become king, and then….” More sobbing, more hiccups.

“He’ll be a wonderful king, whenever his time comes. But I’m sure they’ve already called for healers, and the king will be fine.” Fifi’s trying to reassure herself as much as her sister at this point. If she was in Minna’s situation, a new bride to a grieving widower like Adalberto, the idea of learning to be both his wife and his queen mere hours after their wedding would be horrifying in the extreme.

“Even if he is…this is an act of war…. We’ll have to go to war with Barhesta, and then….” Minna sobs so hard she starts coughing. “This wasn’t supposed to happen! He told us that the situation with Barhesta was under control!”

The door opens, making everyone in the drawing room start. Fifi jumps to her feet and places herself between Minna and the intruder, but relaxes when she sees a weary-looking Adalberto in the doorway. Smears of blood mar his white trousers.

“Princess…Fifi. Thank you for being here with Minna,” he greets her, closing the door behind him before crossing the room to sit next to his new wife.

“It’s the least I can do,” Fifi answers, stifling a pang of jealousy as Minna throws her arms around Adalberto.

“You’re back! I’m so relieved,” Minna cries.

“You’re safe, and we’ve captured the Barhestan noble who attacked my father,” Adalberto tells her. Fifi and the others present listen attentively, hoping to learn more about the chaos that broke out in the Great Hall. “He’s alive, despite what Emiliano and Casimiro wanted to do to him, and he and the rest of the Barhestans here have been confined to the dungeons. We mean to interrogate them shortly.”

“And the king? How is he?” Fifi asks while Minna tries to pull herself together.

“He is alive. All the healers and priests we could summon are with him, as is my mother. It’s too soon to tell…” Adalberto’s voice trails off and he swallows hard. “We can only wait and pray.”

The others in the room murmur prayers and well-wishes for the king. Adalberto slowly rises to his feet, pulling Minna up with him.

“The Ball will not resume tonight. All of you should go either to bed or to the zoche to pray for the king,” he continues. Everyone around Fifi seems dazed. They nod in response to Adalberto’s words and start meandering towards the door, murmuring amongst themselves. But Fifi’s mind is racing. I can heal the king. I know I can, if I can just get to him… But how she might accomplish that, with so many people already attending him, she has no idea.

Minna turns to Fifi, and a moment later they’re in each other’s arms, embracing each other tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Minna,” Fifi whispers into Minna’s hair. “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Minna whispers back, squeezing her one more time before pulling away and placing her hand in Adalberto’s. The truth of what Didier said to Fifi earlier slaps Fifi in this moment—she has Adalberto now. I’m on my own.

“For your safety, Fifi, I think it would be best if our staff escorted you back to your suite,” Adalberto tells Fifi. “Zosya is large and confusing, and while I believe we have the threat contained, I don’t want to take any chances.”

Fifi nods her acquiescence, and moments later she replaces herself walking down a corridor of Zosya between a uniformed butler and an armored guard.

“The king, is he…?” she asks timidly, hoping they might be able to help her figure out how to get to him but not sure how to phrase her query.

“Stable, as far as I know,” the butler replies. “But the healers say it’s best not to try to move him for now.”

“So he’s still in the Great Hall?”

“Unfortunately,” the guard grumbles. “Damn hard place to keep secure, with all them doors on all sides.”

“Not comfortable for him, either, though they’re doing the best they can,” the butler adds.

“I’m sure you’re all doing a wonderful job,” Fifi compliments. Her thoughts won’t settle. They’ve told her what she needs to know, but she still has no idea how to get to the king to heal him. They’ll have guards at every door, and patrolling the corridors around the Great Hall, she muses as the butler and the guard drop her off in her suite, noting that there are also guards stationed outside it.

“Oh my goodness, we’ve been so worried about you!” Agda exclaims as Fifi enters the antechamber, and then her maids are fussing over her, helping her get undressed, exclaiming over how upset and exhausted she must be, burning lavender to calm her nerves and generally doing everything they can to try to soothe her and make her comfortable. All of her protests that she’s fine and it’s the king they should be worried about fall on deaf ears. I’ll never be able to get to the king without someone’s help, she despairs. Between the guards at the door and the attentions of her maids, there’s no way she can slip out unnoticed, and even if she could, Adalberto is right—Zosya is large and confusing, and she doesn’t know her way around it yet. I could maybe focus on the stones and wood of the palace to try to sense where he is, but that would take so much energy, she worries as her maids tuck her into bed. Healing him will be challenging enough without that, although I’m sure I can, if I can just get to him…

And then she remembers, as the maids leave her alone in her bedchamber, that getting to him isn’t even the most difficult part. Kai has been telling her since the moment he made a flower bloom for her that Cybarein is dangerous, that cybrinn have been burned as witches, that everything they do must be done in secret. Adalberto said that priests and healers are already attending the king. Even if she is able to join them, she won’t be able to do the ritual in secret. The other people there would see her, would know, and the priests would see it as heresy. They might not even let me complete the ritual before condemning me as a witch, she realizes. Everyone here seems to be devout followers of Chuezohm, as far as she can tell. And then I’d be confined to the dungeon with the assassin and condemned to die, and I won’t have done any good, and I won’t be able to see Kai again….

Algot caws from his cage near her bed, next to one of the narrow windows. His feathers gleam in a shaft of moonlight.

“What do you think, Algot?” she whispers to him. “What can I do?”

“Fly,” he croaks, ruffling his feathers.

“No, that’s your thing.” She bites back a sob of frustration; she still hasn’t been able to transform herself into any creature successfully, no matter how hard she’s tried or what Kai has told her.

“Fly home,” the bird insists.

“I can’t just leave Minna….” But even as she says it, she wonders if that’s really true. She doesn’t know what I can do, and even if she did, she’d be horrified and angry that I’ve kept it secret. She’s not expecting me to help. But I can, and so don’t I have an obligation to try? She shouldn’t have to become a Queen mere days after becoming a bride. She and Adalberto should have time….

And then tears start to flow from Fifi’s eyes, too, because this is the first night in her whole life that she hasn’t shared a bedchamber with Minna and she’s never felt alone like this before. Helplessness and loneliness threaten to suffocate her as she sobs into her pillow, trying to keep the maids from hearing and coming to comfort her.

“Fly home,” Algot tells her again.

“And what will that do?” she chokes out angrily. “What good will that accomplish? Even if I manage to do that, the king will still be injured and maybe dying, I still won’t be able to help, and my father will be forcing me to marry Didier by this time next year!”

And would that really be so bad? she replaces herself wondering. He’s been so kind to her and trying so hard to win her over here in Zosya. And he is shrewd and was protective of her when everything went wrong. He seems to genuinely care about me, she allows, but compared to Kai…he’s no match for me. Maybe I was wrong about his character in how he treated Minna, but I’d still feel trapped with him. She knows she’d have to give up Cybarein and that she’d likely never see Kai again if she decided to go along with what her father and Didier have planned for her, and the idea makes her cry even harder.

“Find Kai. Kai home.”

Fifi freezes mid-sob, struck by this idea. We were planning to run away together once I got back to Lyrnola anyway, she remembers, and a new plan starts to take root in her head. Maybe there is nothing she can do to help Minna, but she still has the opportunity to help herself.