Months have gone by since I've watched Diamond leave. What I suspect is the norm, I haven't heard a word from her. Kevin has managed to get a few words from people in the army and even a picture of her laughing with a group of soldiers in their secret location.

It is my sole picture next to my bed. My incentive to get up in the morning and keep moving.

My brothers are all preoccupied at the moment juggling their work, personal life, and replaceing Beggar along with The Satan Snipers. I focus my time on my studies. Keeping my grades up.

Storm has spiraled to the brink of self-destruction, spending his affections on a bottle. I broke it off with him shortly after Diamond was ordered away. There was no point in acting any longer.

It's been a while since I've visited the clubhouse. Things are not good there. Kevin says they are divided, everybody fighting with each other, all of them angry that they can't replace Beggar. Kevin says they want to hurt her, so he and the new President River are working on their own, trying to get Beggar back safely. They don't know if she is alive they are just hoping. Aliyana pops in now and again to see how I'm doing. I say I'm fine, just busy and though she doesn't buy the lie she doesn't judge.

Vincent however is another story. After I got back to Seattle, he showed up at my door. To say I wasn't very welcoming was mildly putting it. He apologized profusely for his ways and I forgave him. He calls a lot asking me how I am if I need anything. I always say I'm fine.

He wants to give us a shot, and while I will always love him, I just can't now. With Diamond gone and the regret that lives in me, I feel it is best to move forward from Vincent. But he won't let me.

It is funny how our roles have changed, now he is the one chasing me, and I am the one who doesn't want to be chased.

I just want to be left alone.

Michael has been scouring the country looking for Beggar, he sends me messages when he can but like all the people in my life, he is also busy hunting Beggar.

And I understand that, Michael needs to replace her before the Bratva, The Satan Snipers, and the Famiglia.

I know he is doing it for Kevin, and I am proud of my brother for taking time off his work just to help Kevin.

But then I don't expect anything less.

The Famiglia is under new management, well I should say they have a new boss-man, Marco Catelli, Beggar's cousin.

I've never met the guy in my life, but I have seen him on the news a time or two.

He doesn't have that angry death stare as Vincent so I am hoping he has Beggar's best interest at heart and mind. But I won't hold my breath.

It is the middle of winter and a couple of months after my twentieth birthday. I didn't celebrate like I normally would. Instead, I spent it with a bottle of Hennessy and my phone off. My brothers were pissed but not as much as my mother.

Funny thing is I just don't seem to care any longer.

It's two days gone since I heard a word from Michael and while I'm worried I hold on to the old saying, no news is good news.

I'm downstairs in my newly refurbished kitchen, which is now completely white with red accessories, it was my birthday gift to myself. I love the feel of it when I am cooking, which I am currently doing.

A new habit since Diamond left.

My hair is tied in a high bun, the t-shirt I stole from Michael's closet a few years back is smeared in cake flour and spices and my poker dot shorts not doing any better.

I am making battered prawns, with smoked Salmon, mashed avocado served with Parmesan bread and Cottage cheese.

Tim Mcgraw plays through my kitchen speakers as I move around my space.

The song barely ends when I hear the loud chime of my intercom. Checking my counter where I am working, it is filled with prawn shells, avocado, bread crumbs, and a large amount of flour, with dirty knives, teaspoons that I used for spices and mixing bowls.

The place is a mess. I'm not expecting anyone. The intercom goes off again and I roll my eyes because I know it's Aliyana. She is the only one crazy enough to come uninvited at this hour.

Making my way to the wall in the kitchen with the voice activator that Michael mounted on the wall last month for me. I don't look to see who it is on the camera because I am certain it is Aliyana. I press the touch screen pad, opening the main gates.000

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