Love and Chaos Series
The Alpha King’s Ugly Bride Chapter 52

He wanted to. He wanted to end her life like he yearned to do so many times in the past, rid himself of her, and be happy. Her death won't solve his problems, but it would take half away. Yet, he couldn't kill her. Her blood was the last thing he wanted on his hands.

He let her go and turned from her, while she choked and tried to recover from the pain he had inflicted on her neck.

Driven by his fury, he stormed over to his bed and flipped it off the floor. It flew and crashed into the wall. He howled out in pain and anger and dropped to his knees. His heartbeat raced and his exposed skin grew hairier and his fingers contorted into a claw. These changes told him he was shifting.

Alpha kings usually shifted at will and could control every of his shift, but Xavier found he couldn't control what was happening to him.

His wolf was fighting to take over, and this had never happened before.

It terrified him.

His emotions that had come into play in the last few minutes were severe and pain mixed with anger and desperation had taken his control away from him.

His hands flattened on the floor, contorting into a longer, sharper claw. The transformation wasn't as fast as usual, and he felt every snap of his back and the crack of his hands as he shifted. His body snapped and shaped and kept at it until he stood in his bedroom, a big black wolf with glowing red eyes in the daytime.

He turned to stare at Mia and found her focus on him unwavering. Her heartbeat was at the normal pace and it showed she wasn't afraid of him. It made him happy to know that. It also infuriated him. Once, she feared him and did everything he said and today; she had defiled him in a way no other maiden had.

Something has happened to her between the last time he saw her and now. Something that made her fear him less.

She had seen him shift before, but that was under different circumstances. Her words and actions had fuelled this shift, and any sane being would fear that.

She was insane because she wasn't afraid.

She didn't fear him.

Yet, he didn't want to harm her; he didn't want to attack her. He was losing his games with her, and it wasn't fun.

He knew that. He just wanted her close to him, close to his heart.

He stepped towards her, his moves calculated and, as if reading his mind, she dropped to the floor on her knees and she shifted into a wolf. She shifted into a beautiful white wolf with royal blue touch to the tip of her fur and yellow eyes.

She threw caution to the wind and walked towards him, gliding her head under his neck when she got to him and resting it there, just like he wanted.

She said nothing, but her actions melted his heart. This told him she was here for him, and he snuggled closer to her. Nothing felt better.

He needed her beside him; he needed her comfort and her stubbornness and everything she was. He never thought he'd say this, but she felt right in a good and scary way. But needing her too much also scared him. He knew first-hand what being vulnerable to the wrong person could do to him.

"This isn't the right time or place to be in our wolf's forms!" Xavier said, after a long while of snuggling close to her and feeling the heat coming off her body. He was getting too comfortable holding her this way, burying himself in her scent, and his mind was wandering to places it shouldn't. He needed to snap out of it.

"You're right." She answered and pulled away at his words. He felt the loss immediately and almost pulled her back, regretting his words.

She transform back into human forms without her clothes and he turned away, letting her put on her clothes in privacy.

Mia pulled her hair out of the clothes to rest on her back and as she turned around; she saw him. He must have shifted back into human form while she wore her clothes. During their lunar eclipse shift, Xavier made plans and provisions for clothes on the part they strayed to during the night. The only one in the dark with his plans was her. That night, he shifted back to human form far away from her and she figured it was his noble way of giving her privacy. She never complained and also never saw him naked until today. While she always swoon over him in clothes, watching him without them made her heart skip, even if it was just his back. All the carnal desires she once had for him came rushing back. Her eyes trailed over his broad shoulders, down his smooth and toned back. She felt a stir when her gaze dropped to his narrow waist and then down to his firm b**t. Her heart skipped as her mind immediately wanders to how they'd feel in her hands. He looked so sinful on the backside. She wondered what he'd look like in the front. He began speaking, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"A while ago, there was a certainty of death right before you and your heart didn't skip for once. Yet, here you are, with a racing heart without even being touched." he slipped his legs into the trousers he held onto and pulled it up to cover his lower self before turning around to face her.

Her throat ran dry at the sight of his naked upper front, which she had seen a few times but was still affected by. He was affecting her so much it was embarrassing at this point. Still, she couldn't help it.

She opened her mouth to speak, but she snapped it shut.

"You, darling, are a complicated being." he chuckles, his mood much lighter than the one she had walked into earlier. He pulled his robe over his head and in a second, it covered every part of him up but for his hands and face.

He turned to his bed, which he had flipped over in his moment of rage and regret flashed over his eyes.

He placed his hands on his hips. "I should have thought that through," he admitted with regret in his voice. "I should have thought a lot of things through."

"You were angry, you were hurt. You could have killed me, but you didn't."

"You don't have to make up excuse for what I did. I hurt you. I didn't want to, though. You're not to blame for any of this. I am. This is my fault, and it has nothing to do with you." he didn't accept the excuse she made for him. "I am sorry." His head dropped in shame. "As much as I'd love an apology, I would prefer an explanation. I am here and I want to know." She stepped towards him. "You've locked yourself up in this room for many days, my king. I have stayed and done my part as a good wife and queen, but I want to know what caused this much change in you. We came so far, but now I feel as if we went back to the very beginning, and I deserve to know why, because we are in this together."

Xavier lowered himself onto the floor where his bed once was, not bothered by the wetness of it. He wrapped his arms around his legs, and his eyes lowered.

"Turns out she had led me on all these years and never loved me."

Mia's heart dropped as he finished speaking, probably knowing who the "she" he spoke about was. She stared at him with eyes of pity.

Xavier stayed with Zara all these years, despite his father's disapproval and curse because he thought he was doing the right thing. Robb never loved his mother and Xavier swore to be a better man with love. He thought Zara was the one and did not plan on letting her go. He was going to hold on to her. He did until Mia stepped into his life.

He couldn't tell Mia all this. Just like he couldn't tell her the king's men he had punished the other day were supposed to make sure Zara left the kingdom like he commanded, but they let her slip through their fingers.

He couldn't tell her he had initially planned on breaking up with Zara when he last went there. Just as he couldn't tell her, she had been the reason for his decision to end things with Zara. He couldn't tell her she had affected him and kept affecting him with everything she did.

He didn't know how she would view him if he did. It was best he kept that to himself.

"I just need time to think everything through. These days might be too much for you, but it isn't for me."

"I don't know what that's like, loving and being hurt, and I hope you replace your way out of it somehow with your head high."

After Zara's confession, he wasn't sure he could trust his all to a woman ever again. Yet, this woman beside him felt so safe despite her rebellion.