Once Rejected, Thrice Accepted
Chapter 74

"Ok. I am officially stuffed." I stated pushing my plate away.

I think I ate a portion of everything we had and a few second of portions. I know I ate more than almost everyone, but I deserved it after the crap meals in the hospital. Normally I would have been done faster but I was putting off hearing Jacksons story about losing his mate and what made him the way he is now. It was going to be heartbreaking and upsetting which I wasn't ready for either of those.

"Grab your drinks everyone and let's go sit on the patio to let Jackson explain himself." Duncan stated taking my plate away from the table along with his. "A bit of fresh air after all the food will do us some good and maybe relax us all a bit."

Britt grabbed my hand as we did as Duncan asked. I could feel her body shaking from the nerves more than the slightly cool breeze. I knew how she felt in this instance but I knew it went deeper than that for her. She was raised by this man her whole life and never understood where she really stood with him. That must have been awful so this explanation that should have happened years ago for her will be a bigger relief for her than it would ever be to me.

"Thank you for agreeing to listen." Jackson started out as we all sat down facing him as he stayed standing but leaning against the railing. "Just bear with me on this. Some of it is hard and other parts will probably hurt Britt more than I should have let it. I am so sorry I failed you both as a father."

We just nodded. No one was willing to speak to give him a way to talk about something else. He was stalling which I understood because I had just done that with making my egg roll take about twenty bites too many.

"When I first saw her take her last breath just as Britt was taking her first few I felt this intense pain that felt as though someone had grabbed my heart and smashed it to bits. It is a pain I hope you never have to feel." He mumbled something to himself that seemed to push back the memories. "I was consumed by it. I wanted it to go away no matter what it took. And it did take. It took away my humanity and I shifted into my wolf. I stayed as a wolf running the forests for six months until Erin and a few men caught up to me. If they hadn't I don't know where I would be right now."

I looked over at Erin whose face showed the pain he went through watching his son lose his shit. He just nodded and said he would do it all again if it meant reuniting his family. He was an amazing grandfather, and it seems his role as a father was just as amazing. "Who raised me then?" Britt whispered digging her nails into my arm. "Or did you drag my newborn a*s into the woods to be raised by wolves?"

"Language." Jackson said putting no feeling behind his words. It was more of an autopilot. "I would never do that to you. Your safety has always been top priority especially if it was from me."

"Britt, I took you in. I took care of you night and day with a little help from a few in the family." Erin answered her question. "I would never let anything happen to you or Gemma. It actually made the days go by faster having you to dote on."

Britt leapt from our shared seat and threw herself at him. He was surprised but the shock was gone replacing it with the biggest smile I had seen him wear. I hadn't seen her cry like this since the first few nights of being away and just feeling out of place especially after Matilda. It was heartbreaking but satisfying at the same time. They had always seemed to not get along but now she saw that he loved her from the get-go.

"Please continue Jackson." Leo stated sliding into Britts empty seat so she could take the one he had vacated beside Erin.

"After they found me and brought me back to the royal lands I was still lost in my feral state. I lashed out on everyone and they had to keep me calm with meds. I am sorry to say we were ready to run again and kept fighting everyone who got in the way." Jackson slid down the railing to sit with his legs crossed and his hands clasped in his lap. "It wasn't until they brought a blanket that smelled like Britt that I was able to calm down and shift back. I was still out of it and would lash out so it wasn't safe for me to be alone around Britt so once I was settled back into being a human I moved into dads house so I could be near her but with eyes on me at all times."

Britt had calmed down a bit and was sitting beside Erin holding onto his arm. She was looking at Jackson with pain and sadness. I was still not understanding.

"Ok so you went feral and came back because you were brought back. Britt basically made you human again and able to function which is amazing." I said calmly. "But what happened after to make you only care about you and not your kids? To only think you can do right and we are just f**k ups in what we do?"

"I made a promise to myself. I promised I wouldn't get close to anyone and would only focus on what made me happy to make sure I never felt this pain again." He looked at me with tears rolling down his cheeks. "I was...am a coward. I realized that you being happy and safe was made me really happy. Both of you being that way. It wasn't the women I could use to forget your mother, Greta, but it was replaceing happiness in my children who have both of us in them. I was stupid for not knowing. I was stupid for being so scared of that pain that I bottled myself up and ended up hurting you because of it. Can you forgive me?"

I looked at Britt waiting to see what she thought on it all. Erin decided to speak before we could answer. He explained that the pain was exactly as bad as he made it sound. His mate died while they were in battle and the pain took him down almost getting him killed. King Charles had actually saved him and pulled him off the battlefield before going in search of his fallen mate. She had been attacked by five enemy warriors and it was bad.

He didn't go into detail. He just wanted us to know everyone deals with it different. He didn't shift into a wolf for months. Instead, he trained harder and harder each day making each session go longer and longer until he was training from sunup to sun down with or without other warriors with him. He missed a lot of his kids for the first year and had a wake-up call when the school texted him that his daughter had an accident a few weeks ago and they wanted to follow up on why she hadn't been at school. He had no idea any of that was going on.

"So what did happen with her accident?" Britt asked sweetly. I knew it was fake but her quick wink at me confirmed it.

"She wasn't in an accident. She lied and ran off with her friends to a concert." Erin laughed. "She thought she was just as sneaky as you just were with your wink. We brought her home and things changed. I got better and she got rules that she hated. It was a win win for me." Britt laughed and turned back to Jackson. "I forgive you but I need some space."

He nodded and looked at me. Moonlight and I were in agreement with our answer. I stood up looking down at him thoughtfully.

"No. I don't forgive you." I shrugged as pain filled his eyes. "I have had enough of me being last because of someone being scared, a coward, or whatever you want to call yourself but it won't be my father. We are related and I care for you but I don't see you as anything but sort of family. I am sorry if that pains you but accepting that lame a*s story with your putting your pain, your feelings, and everything else before what your mate would have wanted and before your children."

I looked at Erin and Britt mouthing 'Sorry' and went inside. I was done with this for now and needed time with just my mates. I knew they would follow me shortly so I headed straight to the bath to soak and cry.