Outliers
Chapter 22 - Thane

“‘I don’t believe in magic.’

The young boy said.

The old man smiled.

‘You will, when you see her.’”

- Atticus

THANE

5 WEEKS PRIOR

I hated these damn meetings, was the only thought tumbling through my mind as I stalked through the forest in human form, my Beta walking on four paws beside me.

I rarely allowed others to see me shift, or to see my wolf form at all. Only those closest to me in the pack had witnessed it. I was not like other wolves, not like this generation, who could shift quickly at will. Instead, every shift was a slow, agonising affair, a fight between human and wolf.

It was a wonder I could choose to shift at all, when the wolves I had grown up amongst could only endure a forced shift once every full moon. I didn’t understand how wolves had evolved over the last four centuries. I couldn’t explain why I had lived for so long, when others had not. My parents certainly hadn’t understood why my abilities had been so different from my fathers.

Sometimes I was thankful for my long life, for this gift, but more often than not, I despised it. It was a lonely existence to live and not really understand what I was. Lonelier still when I was reminded so blatantly of the ease of these modern wolves’ lives.

I hated these semi-annual meetings, hated having to co-exist in these communities if only for a few short days, though perhaps not as much as my Beta did. As we entered the inner territory of the Idaho pack, escorted by one of their wolves, I could already feel the building irritation that rolled off my Beta wolf in waves.

Adriel Kristiennson - a trusted second, the Beta to my Alpha position - was unnervingly good at masking his true persona when engaging with these pack wolves. But that didn’t mean he didn’t hate every second. The male found it far easier to endure these meetings by remaining silent the entire time. Silent, for 3 whole days. I had never fully understood it, but perhaps for a male as chatty and prone to nonsense as he, silence was the only way for him to keep control of himself.

We had to maintain a sense of otherness around the other Alphas and their packs. They always look for weakness amongst us because we question their authority and challenge their power. We had to feed into the image of fearless, all-powerful wolves that did not bow to their will. So we withdrew from our true selves, masked all emotions, and endured. Adriel and I would arrive for these meetings the day of, and leave exactly 3 days later.

We never stayed a minute longer than was necessary.

The Idaho Beta Male running ahead of us, escorting us into the pack territory, picked up speed. We didn’t bother to match it. We knew where we were travelling. Hell, I’d explored every inch of this territory far before the young wolf had. I had been here for its creation, had scouted every inch of the land with its first Alpha. That had certainly been many years ago. I almost missed those days. The first Idaho Alpha had been a great friend of mine; I didn’t much care for the current Alpha - he was too young, too disrespectful.

Eventually we lost sight of the Beta Male altogether. He knew we hadn’t followed him, had huffed at our slow pace, and ran off all the same. A busy male, perhaps, one far too busy to pander to two obnoxious enforcer males.

It didn’t matter, as not long after the sight of Idaho’s main house appeared.

My pace slowed as we approached the steps, Adriel falling behind me to shift into his human form and clothe himself in the ‘horrid suit’ I had provided for him. But it was as I approached the entrance that something out of place caught my attention.

I paused so abruptly in the grand doorway of the Idaho pack building that Adriel walked right into me.

“What is it?” He asked deeply, trying his best to keep all emotion from his voice, but there was a distinct level of weariness anyway. He must of truly sensed something wrong in my composure if he was daring to speak in the close vicinity of others. The blonde male, now leaning to my left, was allowing his eyes to scan what he could see of inside the building, assessing for possible threats. There was none.

He cast me a fleeting glance, allowing only the smallest shift in expression to convey his confusion. I knew he wanted to implore more, to interrogate me about the sudden change in my demeanour. But he couldn’t speak freely as he wished to do, as he would have had we still been in our territory. He couldn’t, not here with so many foreign wolves in the area, where we had to keep a firm grasp on the masks we wore.

I didn’t answer him, not as I found my feet moving seemingly of their own accord. Step after step, my long legs carried me into the main house, taking me in a direction I did not recognise, following only a foreign scent that arrested my senses. It was impossible to the describe, the scent, impossible to understand why it called to me so. Like a gust of harsh Autumn wind, powerful and unforgiving, and as rich as the earth after heavy rain. The peculiarity left me no choice but to seek its source, if only so I could understand the ambiguity of it.

I followed the scent through foreign hallways until finally I found myself stood in what was clearly a kitchen, much larger than the one in my territory, no doubt used to feed the entire pack. And in its centre, a lone female.

She was tall, perhaps only a few inches shorter than I was, skin impossibly pale, and hair a soft red that matched the hazy heat that now simmered beneath my skin at the sight of her. I allowed my eyes to appraise her slowly, not wishing to miss a single detail.

“Uh, can I help you?” Were the first words she uttered towards me, her thin eyebrows knitting into a frown. Her tone, while clearly conveying her surprise at my sudden appearance, was strong and unwavering. She did not balk in my presence, did not flinch at the sight of me as others had before her.

I knew my wolf, my mere presence, was a powerful force. Weaker wolves often cowered at the sight of me, and those who could withstand it for longer than a second soon grew restless. But I didn’t recognise her as a current Alpha or Beta.

“Coffee,” was all I grunted in return, the act of speech proving to be too difficult as my mind continued to reel in her proximity. Her scent was stronger now, overwhelming.

Already I struggled to keep myself from staring at the slender arch of her neck.

“I was just about to take it out.” She slowly, pointedly, looked down at the try she had assembled on the counter.

Idiot. She thinks you’re an idiot.

Rightfully so as I continued to stare at her like a pup who had never seen a pretty female in his life.

“Need help?” I asked, voice hoarse. I was at a loss for what else to say, but desperately needed an excuse to remain beside her.

“Sure, thanks.” She was uncomfortable. Not because of who I was - not because of the ancient, vicious wolf that prowled beneath my skin, hungry to sink it’s teeth into any threat that faced us, that ensured all other wolves kept their distance. No, she was uncomfortable because I was being so utterly creepy.

Adriel would be laughing his ass off if he could see me now.

She didn’t move, and it took me all too long to realise she was waiting for me. I grabbed the heaviest tray on the counter. She grabbed the other and lead us out of the kitchen towards the meeting room, leaving me to trail after her like a lost pup, desperate for the smallest morsel of her attention.

The reaction to our arrival in the meeting room was instantaneous. Every single wolf in the room stared towards us, to me, carrying the tray of coffee as if I wasn’t the second oldest, most deadly wolf in the room.

Allister, the oldest wolf in the room, would no doubt tease me endlessly too when he understood what was happening. Though certainly a terrifying male, he never passed on an opportunity to mock me. Samual, his Beta, and another of my childhood companions, was far more empathetic and soft-hearted male. I didn’t see either of them yet, but I knew they would be here.

In the corner of the room, I caught Adriel watching me. Instantly, he was up from his seat, eyes wide, looking entirely bewildered.

And on the opposite side of the room, I caught the young Idaho Alpha staring at my mate with longing and desire.

The tray in my hands shook.

***

It wasn’t often my beast prowled beneath my skin, so restlessly as it did now, roaring within me. I had had centuries to master control of my instincts, and as a result, very little mustered such a furious rage. I hadn’t the luxury of such rage, of such reckless abandonment over my composure, not like the young wolves of this century that hardly knew what it felt to be so wild.

For I had certainly spent the first century of my existence as an untamed force that rivalled that of even the older males. My instincts and urges had been more feral than those of my father, Allister and Samual. There had been days during my childhood that I had seemed more wolf than man. It had taken me more than a lifetime to maintain it, but I had maintained it.

I was not to be like other Alphas who struggled to control their powerful beasts. I remained in control, always. For I had to enforce such control over others.

And yet here, now, a little under 400 years old, I wished to tear this gods-damned building to the ground as I watched my mate stand by that young Alpha’s side.

Acting Female Alpha for the Idaho pack, for that reckless pup Jack Athen.

Whatever relationship they had, I would be a fool not to recognise the intimacy of it.

I couldn’t look away from her as he spoke endlessly about pack transferrals, about things I couldn’t muster the single ounce to care about. My attention remained firmly locked on her.

Emily. That had been how that boisterous Alpha Felix Delaney had addressed her.

A fairly modern name, that dated back to only the 18th century - or at least I certainly hadn’t met anyone of the name previous to that. In fact, the only other Emily I had ever met was not too dissimilar to my Emily. She certainly hadn’t been afraid when she came across me one morn on the foggy moors - when I was only young, and still adjusting to my wolf shape. No, for a 19th Century woman roaming the Yorkshire Moors with no more than two hounds as her company, she had remained awfully composed when she had stumbled upon the small black wolf who had run from his parents during a morning walk. Especially so when the wolf had slowly shifted back into the form of a pale, dark-haired young boy, completely nude.

It seemed my Emily seemed equally unbothered by my presence in her life, however sudden. She had barely cast me a single glance since the meeting had begun, muttering quietly and furiously to the Alpha Male beside her.

Until she caught my eye for the briefest of glances, as if her gaze had just happened my way, before quickly moving on to assess Adriel beside me.

Was I not enough to hold her attention? Did she not wish to acknowledge me as her mate? Had she found something disappointing in me?

It was a devastating thought, one that stemmed from insecurities I didn’t even realise I possessed. The unexpected thought that I wouldn’t be enough left me near crumbling.

“...request to Colorado.” The hesitant words of the Idaho Alpha drew my rapt attention from the red-headed female that clearly desired nothing from me. “Emily Jefferson, twenty-three, unmated.”

I couldn’t have possibly stopped myself this time, as my eyes returned once more to her. This time she met my gaze; unwavering, unyielding.

What game was she playing?

PRESENT

My mate. Heavens above, just saying the words out loud, acknowledging the bond between us - it all still seemed so surreal.

“Sounded like she took the news well.”

Adriel was sprawled on one of my office chairs, legs draped over the arm. I knew he was watching me, waiting for me to say something, but I locked my attention on the only window in the small room. I continued to stare out, towards the woods, as if I could see through the trees and darkness to where I knew Emily had stalked out of sight.

Adriel sighed.

“She’ll be fine. Sandra and Lorcan are out there. If she gets in any trouble, they’ll be by her side in a second.” I heard him shift, and a faint glance in his direction showed he was now sitting properly in the chair, leant forward with his forearms resting heavily against the length of his thighs. He faced me with a solemn expression. “Are you okay?”

It was my turn to sigh.

I had told no one of the bond since returning to the pack, save for Adriel who had already sworn his secrecy on the matter. But it seemed now that everyone would know. I didn’t care; I hadn’t kept the news quiet to spare myself, but to spare Emily any unwanted attention or pressure.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Adriel asked softly, when it became apparent I wasn’t responding to him. Still, I watched the window, waiting to see the sight of her again. Another beat of silence passed between us until I heard him gather to his feet.

“I shouted at her.” My voice was strained as I swallowed back my disgust. I had shouted at her, made her feel less than. A freak is what she had called herself.

That was what existed at the centre of all her insecurities, the belief, the fear, that she was other to the rest of the wolf community. She believed herself to be the only one different and hated herself because of it.

And I had shouted at her, and truly made her feel abnormal.

I had fed those insecurities, fed into her panic.

Of course, she hadn’t known what we were. I had already theorised such and yet the confirmation of it had still rendered me surprised. So surprised, I had flung it in her face like an accusation, as if I thought myself so important that it was an insult for her to not have realised what was truly between us.

I had allowed my frustration to get the better of me. And now my mate had wandered into the woods alone, in the darkness, away from me.

[there we have it, a little peek into Thane’s mind. I probably won’t be writing many chapter like this, maybe only one more towards the end of the book. What did we all think? How do we think Emily is going to react once she’s not caught so off guard and had a chance to calm down?]