Outliers
Chapter 23

You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say.

- Paulo Coelho

I hadn’t been able to escape the main house fast enough, desperate for as much physical distance between Thane and me as I could get. I had to escape his overwhelming presence, had to escape that anger and hurt I had seen on his face, or I wouldn’t be able to think clearly otherwise.

I could still feel his teeth against my neck, still feel his hands on my skin. So quickly had I gone from desiring his every touch to sheer, all-consuming panic.

That is what it had been to feel his canine on my neck, to feel his oncoming mark.

A mate’s mark was sacred. It was the most intimate bond a wolf could form. So sacred that some couples had even planned entire ceremonies around the event. I had never considered the possibility of wearing a wolf’s mark, or receiving such an honour. And to face that reality so suddenly…

I fell to my knees, bones clashing against the hard earth so brutally, but I scarcely felt the pain. Hunched over, hands pressed flat into the ground, I breathed deeply, desperate to fill my lungs and dispel that crushing weight that pressed down against my chest.

Yes, it had certainly been pure, unfiltered panic that had consumed my entirety. Even now my breath remained laboured, my heart pounded painfully in my chest, and as a nightly breeze washed over me, I could feel the cool flush of sweat that bathed my body.

I had acted on instinct as I stalked from the house, away from the danger, my thighs burning at the speed at which I had pushed myself to escape. And now I was on my knees, all but sobbing like a blubbering pup.

Pathetic.

I forced myself to note my surroundings, forced myself to count my breaths until once again the very act of breathing did not feel like such a chore. I wasn’t sure how long I had knelt there in the dirt.

It was dark outside, the training area to the left was completely empty, and the trainee cabins to the right were all dark and motionless. Most wolves would be asleep.

Good.

It was only in this darkness and solitude that I could grasp control over myself once again. That, and I wished for no one to ever see me so vulnerable.

I wanted nothing more than to escape into the trees, to explore the woodland at its darkest. Immersing myself within nature always worked best to calm me down. It allowed me to think with greater clarity when my emotions worked well to overwhelm me.

But after the attack, I was hesitant. Nero was not with me this time, and though it was unlikely to be hunted so late by a natural predator, if I was caught unaware there would be no way to signal for help.

Plus, I knew Sandra and Lorcan to be out there somewhere. And if they sensed me nearby, I knew they may come looking. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to share with them.

“What’s wrong with you?” Someone appeared beside me all too suddenly. It startled me. I hadn’t sensed someone approaching, too caught up in my thoughts.

I was slow to my feet. It took nearly all my energy to rise, my legs shaking with the movement. But eventually I met Daniel face to face with a scowl warping my features.

Daniel looked awfully uncomfortable as he eyed my glassy eyes. I hadn’t allowed myself to shed a tear, and wasn’t entirely sure why I wanted to cry in the first place. I was certainly over-reacting. Any other wolf would have been overjoyed with the news.

Then again, any other wolf would have known weeks ago.

“What do you care?” I snapped, not bothering to leash my irritation at the sight of him.

He flinched at my tone.

I crossed my arms tightly against my chest and looked away. Hoping with my silence he would choose instead to walk away. Daniel certainly wasn’t someone I wanted to vent to.

“Are you okay?” He tried again, despite my obvious aversion to his presence. When I remained silent, cursing myself internally, and trying desperately to erase all emotion from my expression, he spoke again. “Do you… do you need help?”

Help.

I wasn’t sure what I needed. But I sure as hell hadn’t expected such an offer from a wolf like him. Any surprise I felt was no doubt clear on my face.

“I’m good,” I muttered abruptly, my voice thick. As an afterthought, I added, “Thank you.”

Daniel nodded hesitantly, still eyeing me. Clearly unconvinced of my well-being.

“Are you planning on staying out here by yourself?” He asked, looking at my feet. In my haste to escape Thane and his life-altering proclamation, I hadn’t put on any shoes. I wiggled my toes against the cold grass. “Do you want to come inside? The others are asleep. We don’t have to talk.”

I surprised even myself when I accepted Daniel’s offer, and ten minutes later I was sitting on a worn sofa, with a steaming mug of tea in my hands. Daniel, sat on the opposite side of the small cabin’s lounge area, held a similar mug of coffee.

“You’re up late,” I murmured quietly, not wanting to wake the other Nevada trainees, but knowing Daniel could still hear me.

“I didn’t sleep very well last night, not since… not since Riley told me what happened to our Alpha.” I could understand that. Grief affected us all in different ways. After Jack had lost his mate, he had barely functioned - wouldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, didn’t shower or emerge from the main house for months. The pack itself had been crumbling fast. I had spent most of that time travelling between the other packs for him.

“Riley said you were loyal to his father.”

“Knowing that bastard Russo is here in Colorado, close to Riley,” Daniel snarled, gulping back a large mouthful of his coffee. He clenched his hands tight against the mug. “I can’t stand it. He should be put down for what he did.”

I had yet to ask Thane of Benjamin Russo’s whereabouts. Instead, I’d been more concerned about Riley to even think to question him about the murderous wolf, and I had no idea how he planned to deal with him. Was Russo still in those silver chains? And Russo’s mate - what of her?

“Riley wanted to stay here, you know,” I thought to tell Daniel, hoping the information would provide him some comfort. “But considering the circumstances, Tha- Alpha Harris thought it safer if he stayed with the enforcers. More protection. More people to watch over him.”

Daniel nodded his agreement, and a silence settled between us.

Numbly, I sipped on my tea, eyes cast towards the ground. Daniel did the same.

“Have you found your mate?” I thought to ask, after minutes had passed. The thought of my mate was still too present in my mind. I certainly hadn’t even begun to process the information yet. I felt detached from the situation as if I were a spectator in my own life.

I didn’t have the capacity to stop and think about it all.

Daniel leant back in his seat, head tilting ever so slightly.

“No.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty,” he answered with slightly narrowed eyes, but didn’t comment on my peculiar line of questioning.

“And it doesn’t bother you that you haven’t found your mate yet?” It had been all the wolves in Idaho could talk about. It was why I had distanced myself from them so much - another reason of why I had felt so abnormal in their presence.

“I don’t see a reason to worry. I’m going to replace my mate, eventually. It will happen when it’s meant to happen.” He paused, and I sensed he was weighing his next words. He was studying my face again, and I wondered if he could still see evidence of my distress. “Did you lose your mate recently?”

That had me pausing. Did it appear as if I were grieving? Was that how truly distraught I had seemed when he came across me outside?

“What makes you say that?” I asked with a frown.

“You’re an enforcer now, aren’t you? Isn’t that the requirement? They say enforcers are those without mates because they no longer fear death, that they’ll push themselves to the very end to help uphold the peace amongst the packs, if they have to.”

“I haven’t lost my mate.”

Daniel was frowning deeply now, his confusion apparent. I saw him eye my neck, bare of a wolfs mark, saw his nostrils flair, and knew he was taking in my scent. He would be able to scent that I had yet to mate with someone, but he would also scent Thane on me. Suddenly, he froze, realisation seeping into his expression.

“Oh, oh.” Daniel abruptly stood to his feet, looking pale all of a sudden. “He’s your mate? The Alpha?” he hissed. “Fucking hell, he’s going to slaughter me!”

Daniel was pacing now, running a hand through his hair.

“He won’t.”

“I put an Alpha’s mate in harm’s way. I injured an Alpha’s mate,” he said incredulously, shooting me a wide-eyed look. “He absolutely will.”

“You don’t think he would have already done so?” I asked calmly with a raise brow. “You think he would have allowed me to visit here with Riley yesterday?”

“Maybe he wants to catch me unaware! I’m dead!” The male groaned, his head falling into his hands.

“I think you’re overreacting.”

“Have you met your mate?” Daniel snapped, glaring down at me. “He’s the most intimidating wolf I have ever laid eyes on. I’ve seen him spar before. It would take him two seconds to tear me apart.”

I doubted Daniel had seen the true expanse of Thane’s skills. I had only witnessed him sparring in his human form. Never had I seen his skills in his wolf. And I knew he sometimes held himself back when sparring against Lorcan. The Trainer may be one of the best fighters I had ever witnessed, but I knew should Thane need to be, he could be deadlier. Daniel was right to be afraid of his power.

“Look, yes, you overstepped the rules of the challenge, and yes, you did nearly kill me.” I rolled my eyes. “But he’s not going to exact revenge on you. It’s not his place. I’m the one you should be worried about. I’m the one who has the right to claim retribution.”

My words didn’t seem to calm him.

“Oh, I’d much rather you than him!” He cried.

It was wrong to replace amusement in his fear, for I knew he truly was panicking right now. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that escaped. I had never seen him so worked up before.

Gone was any shred of the cocky male I had once faced. Gone was the façade he had worn around me and the other trainees. He was just a young wolf, prone to panic like the rest of us.

“Daniel,” I addressed softly. He stiffened and turned to face me. “It’s okay, I promise. He’s not going to do anything to you. If anything, he’s more mad at me than anyone else right now.”

“What did you possibly do?” He asked slowly, not seeming at all inclined to believe me. At least he had stopped his pacing.

“I walked out on him in the middle of an argument.”

“You walked out on him?” He spoke as if he couldn’t believe I had dared to do such a thing to the ‘great’ Alpha Harris. Clearly, I had grown too comfortable in Thane’s presence without even realising. I trusted him to not to hurt me, and he had allowed me enough freedom this past month that I knew he would not punish me for such a disrespectful move. Had I just been another pack wolf, there would be no question of the wrath I would face, but we were more than that, even without the mate bond. I never feared speaking up against him, even when I knew better. And he had yet to discipline me for such.

“In my defence, I had just found out we were mates. I was freaking out a little.”

“What do you mean, ‘just found out’?” Apparently calm enough now to sit down once again, Daniel leant forward in his seat, eager to hear more.

“How do you know when you meet your mate?”

“Well… it’s instinct, your wolf-” Daniel paused, eyes widening slightly. “Oh.”

“Exactly,” I sighed. It was just another pitfall of my genes. I had no wolf and thus no way of recognising my mate.

“And he didn’t tell you right away? Did he not accept the bond? That’s pretty shitty.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” I bristled, feeling defensive over Thane despite my own feelings about the situation being fairly similar. It was pretty shitty, or at least it felt that way. Even if logically I knew there would be a justification for his actions, I couldn’t think past those initial feelings of insecurities and wounded pride.

“Right,” Daniel muttered sheepishly, “Sorry. And that’s why you were outside crying?”

“I wasn’t crying.”

“Right,” he drawled dubiously.

“But yes, that’s why I was outside - not crying.”

“And what are you going to do now?”

That was an awfully good question.

[so this chapter was actually about 5,000 words long, but the scene where Thane and Emily reconcile still isn’t finished and up to a standard I’m happy with. And I didn’t want to wait any longer to post a new chapter. So I’ve ended up splitting the chapter in half, this is only the first half (which is why it may seem so unsatisfying without Thane present) but I promise that that scene will come next and I’m hoping to get the second half up on Saturday at the latest!]

[30/01/23 I didn’t realise that I hadn’t finished re-uploading Outliers when I disappeared from Narugi.com for about 3 months, sorry about that!]