Seduced by My Childhood Sweetheart’s Brother
Chapter 109

109- Real and repeating

I dream about the little girl again. How did I forget about her? It’s not the same dream although it isdefinitely the same girl. Her white–blonde shoulder length hair which was so tidy last time is unkemptand looks like it could use a good wash and brush. Her eyes are still rimmed in red, but she’s not cryinganymore. She’s…. Staring. Her eyes are glazed over and looking off in space with a vacant expression.It’s somehow even worse than the tears. It’s almost like she’s not in there anymore. Like a little brokendoll in flannel pyjamas. Her body is limp, sitting on the floor with her legs out to the side and shouldersdrooping. The only proper sign of emotion that I can identify are the tight fists at her sides, squeezed sotight that her knuckles have turned white. I want to step towards her, pick her up off the floor, hold her,anything to return some life to her face, but I can’t. In this dream, I don’t seem to have a body or anykind of form. It’s like I’m stuck watching through a screen. The girl suddenly moves, looking up as ifsomeone was speaking to her, but I can still only see her and darkness. Horror crosses her face and Iregret wishing the blank expression away because this is so much worse. She begins shaking her headno, backing up on her hands sliding on the floor. Invisible hands yank her to her feet. She starts cryingagain and a moment later whatever or whoever is yanking her pulls again and she vanishes.Everything goes dark, and I wake up. I bolt upright and I’m crying. It’s dark and my sudden movementcauses Bellamy to stir beside me.

“Ryann?” He asks, his voice croaky and groggy. I can’t answer him, I’m too busy crying. This is thesecond time I’ve dreamed of this girl. At least. I know I dreamt of her last night, I was going to tellBellamy but I didn’t and somehow she just… faded. Bellamy realises I’m crying and immediately pullshimself up and flicks the lamp on. I cringe and blink against the bright. light. Even once my eyes haveadjusted they’re still blurry from the tears. Bellamy picks me up and pulls me into his lap, cradling meand stroking my hair.

“Hey, hey… shhhh. What’s wrong darling? What can I do?” Bellamy asks gently, a touch of anxiety inhis tone, but he hides it well. I can only tell because everything he does has a touch of anxiety recently.I continue letting out huge sobs for a minute then I start trying to match my breathing to Bellamy’s.Taking slow, relaxed breaths. With my head against his chest I can feel his heart racing, although notas fast as mine is. It probably takes almost ten minutes for me to pull myself together well enough tospeak. When I do answer, my voice is hoarse and my chest tight like it’s being crushed. Bellamy waitspatiently for me to get ahold of myself.

109- Real and repeating

“I had a dream, about a little girl.” I croak out. I tell Bellamy all the details of my dream. He rubs myback and holds me close as I explain.

“That sounds horrible. I should have made sure you didn’t go to bed thinking and worrying about themissing girl. Of course you would have a nightmare.” He sighs. I sit back a little.

“Are you seriously blaming yourself for my nightmares now? Don’t be ridiculous. Besides, it can’t bebecause of what we discussed. Because I’ve dreamed about the girl before. This is the second time. Idreamed about her last night, BEFORE any story hit the papers.” I explain. Bellamy goes quiet.

“Are

you sure?” I can tell he’s doing his best not to be dismissing, but his tone betrays doubt.

“I’m positive. I don’t even know if it’s the same girl. But I’ve dreamed of her at least two times now.” Iinsist. Bellamy nods.

“It’s okay, I believe you. Maybe it’s the opposite? Maybe the story about the missing girl hit you so hardbecause you had a dream about a little girl last night and if that’s the case, then of course you woulddream about it again.” He reasons. Huh, I suppose that’s possible.

“But that would be such a weird coincidence.” I mutter. Bellamy shrugs.

“It’s still possible. Besides, how well do you remember the first dream? Isn’t it possible that your mindchanged details to match the story better?” He adds. I nod slowly. Then shake my head.

“Yes, maybe, I don’t know. I just can’t help feeling I’m supposed to do something. But I have no ideawhat. Even if the little girl in my dreams is real, what can I do? Or what if she

represents som else? Or what if it’s just my mind being cruel and making me

miserable?” I finish, hopelessly. Bellamy reaches and pushes some hair out my face, wiping away thetears that haven’t completely dried yet.

“Regardless, there is absolutely nothing that we can do about it right now. It’s really late and you shouldtry to sleep more.” He suggests. I shake my head hard.

“No

way, I couldn’t get to sleep if you paid me.” I insist.

109- Real and repeating

“Try.” He demands. I shake my head again.

“I can’t, and even if I do, all I can think about is the girl in my dreams. I’ll just have the same nightmare.”I sigh mournfully. Bellamy thinks for a moment then nods to himself, a decision made.

“Lie back and listen then.” I tilt my head in curiosity but I comply. He leans over and tucks in the sidesof the blanket around me, making sure I’m snug and comfortable. Next, he grabs the book he wasreading earlier from the bedside table. He ignores the bookmark and flips back to the beginning. Thenhe starts to read, his voice calm and relaxing. It’s some mystery book. about a bank heist. I’m so tired Ibarely even pay attention, I just let the soothing sound of Bellamy’s voice lull me back to sleep. Duringthe night I wake twice more. Both times I’m crying and I have the impression of fear, but I don’tremember what exactly I dreamed. It must be the girl, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem toremember anymore details. Each time, Bellamy wakes with me. We don’t talk, he just holds me closeand soothes me to the best of his ability until I fall back to sleep.

In the morning I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. My eyes are red, sore and all gunky from crying. Mylips are chapped, probably from biting at them and my chest aches. I also have a throbbing headachestarting in my temples and running down the back of my neck. Add in the poor amount of sleep Iactually got and it’s no surprise that I don’t want to be awake. But of course, this is one of the raremornings when I wake early and can’t get back to sleep. Bellamy is still asleep and I decide to leavehim. He probably slept almost as badly as me since he woke up every time that I did. I creep my wayout of bed SUPER slowly doing my best not to jostle him. If my head didn’t hurt so much, I might do alittle happy dance that I actually succeeded, but the thought of showing that much enthusiasm makesme want to hurl so yeah… no. I tip toe carefully over to the closet to replace something to wear. I slide itopen, cringing at the rumbling sound the wheels make then I stop and stare.