Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad by Scarlett Rossi
Chapter 194 -

Neal.

I could already tell Becca's tone was off. Maybe this was a bad time to call, but I couldn't get her out of my head. Currently, I was sitting on my couch, staring at the wall and biting my lip. It was too late to go back now. I had to go all in on this. Maybe she did miss me.

I knew I should have been working on that job so Allegra would finally be able to stop worrying about it, but I couldn't help these emotions tearing me apart. I needed to know if she missed me too. There would be some solace in that, right? "I see," Becca said, causing my heart to clench. God, I wish I could focus, right now, on that job rather than this wave of emotion that drove me to call her. The stress was overwhelming, and I couldn't get the thought of Tally's death out of my head.

That, and the fact that Becca had chosen James over me.

Why she would do such a thing, I would never know. James was standoffish and cold, dangerous, too, given those mafia connections. I shook my head, trying not to dwell on that and wanting to focus on the conversation. We'd get back to whether she missed me or not later. Maybe there was a chance we could be together again, should she leave James. I had no doubt James would mess up horribly and cause some rift. He was that type of guy. "How did everything go?" I asked warily, wanting to hear a different tone in her voice. Hopefully, rather. I wasn't sure how the trial went with how busy I'd been with my own issues. Maybe things would be looking up for Becca. I hoped so. She deserved it.

"We got Alessandro," Becca said, causing my heart to leap. When she said that, her tone was much more positive, dripping with relief. Good. The Cartwrights were devils, that much I knew. Lots of money, little morals, the whole deal. "That's wonderful. Not as smooth as you wished, though?" I asked, detecting that hint of hesitation again, and wanting the conversation to carry on. Just hearing her voice was helpful for me right now.

"No," Becca sighed. "When the court was making its decision, they said James needed to be away from Alessandro. James's history was brought up, and he lost his temper somewhat at the mention of Tally's death." Truly, her words hit me like a bullet there. I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes, needing to compose myself.

That night was forever implanted in my mind. Tally was dead because of me.

I'd been the one to fire that bullet.

A tear trickled down my cheek as the sharp stab of guilt hit me hard. Alessandro was without his mother because of me. Becca now filled that role and would do a beautiful job of it. She was such a kind, strong, caring soul. God, I missed her with all of my heart.

I replied, "Oh? How did he lose his temper? Is he safe around the children, then?" Maybe I could whittle away at that and get her back. Would it be right? If she was better with me, then of course it was.

"Not in a yelling way," Becca replied. "But he was visibly upset and had no comeback for much of what was said. He floundered. I would say we almost lost Alessandro because of that, but really, we almost lost James." "Really? What makes you say that?" I asked. Suddenly, I wished the court had ruled in favor of Becca, but not James. She would be better with me, after all. James was the cause of a lot of strife, this case included, clearly. "Well, the court was moved by my speech. I expressed how deeply I loved Alessandro, and how much he deserves a good life. Which is true. My heart bleeds for him, and I'm so happy I can give him a good life now. If he went with the Cartwrights, he would have a horrible life," she said.

"That's true," I said. "How did you convince the courts as much? Money sings, after all, and the Cartwrights have a lot of that."

"Well, Sasha, someone who worked for Chad, put into perspective just how horrible Chad is. She called him out for that game of Russian roulette. She was very brave, but I hope she'll be alright. She was clearly nervous," Becca explained, concern in her tone.

"Very brave indeed," I mused. "Glad she was able to muster up the courage and give you a leg up. Alessandro in that situation would be horrible. Some people aren't meant for kids. He would be present on the top of that list." "He would," Becca agreed, letting out a sigh. "In the end, we were reunited. James wants to go to Italy," she said, her voice now clipped. I raised a brow, detecting the distaste she had for the idea. Was it because of James's mafia connections? I wouldn't be surprised.

"That's not good," I said slowly. "Given his dangerous background. Won't the kids be in danger?" I asked. I may have been watering a seed that had already been planted, but that conclusion is wholly logical. She was already upset with the idea, anyway.

I didn't really lean into the idea that she would leave James anytime soon, as he was probably the best for her right now. Still, it was good to tell the truth, after what happened with Tally. I winced, once again reminding myself of that horrible shooting.

"Yes, that's what I tried telling him. He didn't listen, though. He held his ground, stubborn as a bull. I don't know why he's so hooked on going to Italy, but I don't want to go anymore. I also don't want to stay here," she said. "Why? New York not all it's cracked up to be?" I asked.

"No. I don't fit in here," Becca said, the edge of sadness to her tone. She let out a sigh, and I could hear shifting. Her voice was a mixture of depressed and exhausted.

I felt a pang of guilt, realizing I probably woke her up. Oh well, too late now.

"You, and your beautiful mind and body, would fit in anywhere, I'm sure, Becca," I replied smoothly. "But if you don't feel New York is right for you, it's best to move on to where you do fit in. And, of course, keeping your foot put down on the Italy situation."

"Yeah," Becca said. "James is wonderful for the children, and me, but I'm really worried where this is going to go. That court battle was fought with so much difficulty. He loves the children, though. That's what counts."

I frowned, affirming in my mind that her being with James was probably for the best right now. Given her tone of voice, and what the kids needed, it made sense.

Still, there was a chance for the future. She opposed Italy, James wanted to go back to Italy. The kids were keeping them together.

Those kids deserved a bright future and stability. I wasn't sure if James could really give that, but Becca seemed to think that was the case, at least right this moment. Despite the obvious-the uncertainty surrounding where they would go. All of that said, I finally decided to express what was on my mind, and what I couldn't shake one bit. After clearing my throat, I said, "I know you're with James. I'm glad he's there for you and the children. But, like I said, I miss you. Do you miss me?"

The long pause had me swallowing somewhat, droplets of sweat forming on my forehead. I focused on the clock across from me, going back and forth as I waited for her response. The silence on the other line lasted thirty seconds, perhaps, but felt like hours.

"Neal," she said, hesitating. "It's all too much. You know we just got Alessandro, for sure. The thought of James needing to remain away, even despite this Italy thing, it's terrible. The kids can't handle changes right now." "Becca, I-"

"I can't even think about that, right now, Neal. I can't. I don't even know where we're going to live, this trial took so much out of us. This is just something I can't handle right now, I need to go. Don't call me again," Becca said. Silence on the other line; she hung up. I felt my heart clench and exhaled sharply, tears now pouring down my cheeks. I knew she'd choose James again, I shouldn't have called at all. I told myself over and over he was probably better for her right now, but that didn't make it hurt less.

Was he better for her, though? Did I believe my own thoughts that I kept trying to drill into myself over and over? The waves of depression on this subject said otherwise. I bit my lip, placing my phone on the table and burying my face into my hands.

Between Becca's decision just now, and my focus on those damn Russians that captured Allegra, I had my emotions shot. I could call Becca again, but she told me not to, and I needed to accept it was as good as done. Why? I had nothing left to lose.

That meant I could continue going after the people who brought my sister so much harm. Should I focus on Becca, or Allegra? Family meant everything, and though I was very depressed that Becca ended up with James, I needed to maintain my focus. After all, I had a long history with this particular Russian family. It needed to end.

But Becca's words kept playing over and over in my head. 'Don't call me again'. She didn't say whether she missed me or not, but did it matter? I wished she did, so I could put this madness away for good.

Letting out a groan, I stood up and walked through my residence, entering the office and taking a seat. I could work out more regarding the situation with Allegra right now, it would be a welcome distraction. I was so close to replaceing the rat's nest, so to speak, anyway.

Turning on the computer, my eyes swept over the many notes and details regarding the connections those people had. I was getting so close to offing them for good, and that would be one more problem checked off of my list. Then, I could focus on other things. Like Becca, right? I let out a soft sigh, so many emotions swirling within me. As much as I tried drowning myself in my work, and this situation in general, I couldn't get her off my mind. 'Don't call me again.'

Over and over. Clenching my jaw, I stood up, finished typing a few more pieces of information, and turned off the computer. Then, I headed to my room to lie down. Maybe I could clear my head properly now. Doubtful. But it was worth a shot.