"Hey." He sounded husky as she began to rouse with the sun fully hitting her face, adorably sleepy and those perfect soft blues that he loved so much flickering open to melt his heart some more. I love you, bambino.
"Hey." She half smiled, half blinked up at him sleepily, his heart aching a little too much.
"You shouldn't sleep in the sun," he scolded gently, watching her trying to focus on him. Even though he'd put himself in between the sun and her to shield her, she seemed to be having a hard time looking at him properly, squinting at the brightness.
"I didn't intend to." She blinked some more as Jake slid his sunglasses onto her face, smiling back when she smiled at him in that endearing way she had. He knew they had to talk about last night and set things straight, not just brush it aside as she seemed to want to do. He didn't want to do it here either.
"Want to go somewhere?" Jake looked off to the ocean, away from her face. A deep sense of trepidation that this was not going to go how he wanted it to but that doing it was unavoidable. "Such as?" She sounded inquisitive, mellower than before he had gone to bed and less PA toned.
He shrugged in reply, he just wanted them away from here, away from the others who would start questioning him about Hunter, tilting his head up to watch the sea crashing on the distant shore to give him some sense of calm.
"Anywhere but here." He sighed dejectedly. He had told Hunter that deep down he knew Emma didn't want a relationship with him, but he had always held a tiny spark of hope that he was wrong. Being here now with her after last night and how normal she seemed had killed all his chances. He knew undeniably that Emma was never going to see him as anything other than a boss and a friend.
"How's Hunter?" she asked gently, watching his face a little too closely.
"He's fine... he will be. They just need to monitor him. Secondary drowning is a risk when you swallow as much as he did." He answered on autopilot, his head too wrapped up in what was missing between them to divulge much about Danny.
"Secondary drowning?" she asked looking at him shyly.
"You can drown long after you come out of the water. It's in your lungs still." He tensed, remembering Blake Carlisle, his childhood friend who'd drowned after a stupid drunken boat party. It hurt to remember him.
"So where will we go?" she asked a little more brightly, a smile plastered on her face, but it did nothing for his mood. She was so far removed from the Emma of last night it was scary.
"We could drive somewhere." He went back to watching the horizon instead of that beautiful face of hers, tense, distracted. He just needed to get things moving and get this over and done with. He had formulated a plan at the hospital last night with Hunter. A way out of this emotional mess he was in if things were looking hopeless with her.
"Okay." She smiled a little warily, unsure of his mood. "Shall I get changed?"
He shook his head, looking over her floaty dress and sandals, she was always gorgeous no matter what she chose to wear but in the summer clothes and dresses she was even more so. "No... You look perfect." His eyes flickered down the length of her as she got up, waving her book at him to say she was going to put it in her room. He watched her walk away elegantly and felt his stomach drop heavily. He had got enough from these few minutes to know he might be putting his plan into action later today. Emma wasn't the same girl of yesterday, the connection was gone, and she was most likely never to get that drunk again, knowing how far they had gone.
Minutes later, Emma walked back on deck toward him, looking every bit the angel who held all the keys to his heart and every bit the destroyer of it. He smiled, despite feeling like absolute hell, and gestured for her to follow him to the stairs again to get off the boat.
Driving the coastal roads on the cliffs above where the yacht was moored in the rented sports car wasn't helping Jake's mood much, despite the companionable silence between them, he was tense as hell. He caught her looking his way a few times, but he ignored it, keeping his eyes on the winding road, and handling the powerful car expertly. He had been using the quiet time to think things through, look for ways to fix this, other outcomes and yet always came back to the same problem. Emma just didn't feel the same way about him, and he had to accept it. Sighing to himself for the hundredth time, he tried to focus on just the here and now, of being with her and enjoying the beautiful scenery and the rest of their trip.
Feeling her eyes on him once more he tried to lighten his mood, smiling her way softly, remembering a little too well what she had felt like in his arms. That soft mouth and smooth skin, that tongue of hers meeting with his, that body molded so seamlessly to his own. If anything, he could imprint all of it to memory for a lifetime and never regret one second of it. To be able to kiss her so freely had been more than he had ever imagined it could be.
"So? Are we literally just driving then?" she asked brightly, breaking the silence between them and looking his way openly, a small subtle smile on show.
"Nope," he replied unemotionally and just kept his gaze fixed on the crazy road to maneuver another dangerous narrow turn.
"No clues?" She tried again with another look his way, a small hint at irritation.
"None!" Jake just answered in the same unemotional one-word way. He didn't much feel like talking just yet, he had a scenic destination they were heading for that he could stop at.
"How do you know I'll like it?" She bit a little more aggressively, temper rising quickly in her. Emma was obviously still hungover and easily irritated but it only grated on his already fragile mood. He shrugged as a response.
"It's not fun is it?" he responded dryly, unable to keep a curb on the emotions building up inside of him now that they were nearing the lookout point where he intended to stop. His own hangover biting and emotions fragile.
"What?" she snapped back around, catching his face turned her way for a second, both of their eyes narrowed at each another.
"Being closed out." He tried for nonchalant, but emotion betrayed his words, he just sounded sarcastic and he knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn't help it. Getting closer to stopping and really talking was no doubt getting closer to Emma telling him this would always be a boss and PA relationship and he was hurting like hell. "What does it take, Emma?" He asked impulsively, really wanting to know what he had to do to just get her to look at him the way he looked at her.
He shifted gear, eyes back on the road and whole body tense as hell while he waited on her response, he was driving a little faster and heart beating louder. He knew he was working himself up into this frenzy of a bad mood and had little control over it.
"Jake, please... what are you talking about?" Emma shifted awkwardly in her seat, fixing her seat belt as though the speed was making her nervous and he eased his foot on the gas a little. Slowing down to round another turn.
"You're not even going to mention last night? Is that another conversation over?" he snapped at her as emotion overtook and regretted it almost immediately.
Cool the fuck down, Carrero.
"You didn't mention it either." She spat a little too aggressively back at him. Riled by his mood, obviously and changing the whole tone of how he had intended this conversation to go.
"I was waiting to see if you would." He tried to keep control of his tone this time, trying to defuse the anger and just talk. He wasn't doing a good job of it at all and every word out of his mouth sounded snarky as fuck.
"Why?" she snapped, still pissed, and he could only shrug. He had wanted her to broach the subject, acknowledge last night in some way because it fucking hurt him that she hadn't. That it had been nothing to her except a drunken mistake.☐☐
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