Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)
Tore Up: Chapter 37

The library books had gotten me through most of the weekend. Than had asked me to go swimming twice, and I had gone only because he’d been persistent. I needed the exercise, he’d reminded me.

Yesterday, they had watched football all day, and I’d gone in the great room for lunch and dinner as they yelled at the screen. It seemed Oz was a bookie, and I would wager that it wasn’t legal bets he was taking. The way they had talked, it seemed he took very large amounts from people, and it was filtered through the family.

Every day that passed and Bane didn’t return, the weight on my chest got heavier. The guys never talked about it, although it had been five days since he’d left. I had spent hours yesterday debating on asking Grissele if I could move there, like she had suggested, but then I’d be living with Fender, who hated me. I feared that Bane was staying away from his home because of me. If he’d just talk to me, come back, we could figure it out.

Today meant more football. I’d gone out to the pool for an hour, but when I saw some women arrive, I decided to get my dinner and make my way upstairs for the evening. If the sexfest was about to start, I’d prefer to get away as soon as possible. Wrapping the towel around me, I stared at the patio door as a brunette sat down on Ransom’s knee, then reached to pull off her crop top.

Yep, not going in there.

I headed toward the left of the house to walk around to the front entrance. I knew the code for the door, and I could slip in, unnoticed. No need to bother the guys and their booty calls. I winced as I walked over some pebbles, wishing I’d brought my shoes. Just as I was about to get past the painful part of this journey, I heard voices and stopped.

A car door closed. More guests.

I pressed my back against the wall, not wanting to be seen lurking around the house outside.

“Where is he?” a female asked.

“Oz said they don’t know,” another replied.

I heard the click of their heels on the brick path as they drew closer to the house.

“And it’s all because of that girl Crosby accidentally knocked up?”

“Yeah, he’s mentally wasted. She’s in his face every day. Reminding him of why his brother is dead. It’s heartbreaking.”

“What a selfish bitch. As if Crosby would have wanted them to take care of some hanger-on because she was nasty and let him shoot his load in her.”

I winced, pulling my towel tighter against my chest.

“Right? Bane is suffering. He’s all moody, but deep down, he’s such a good man.”

A small laugh came from one of them. “When he gets back, you can make him feel better. You’re his favorite.”

“I hate that he is being run out of his own house. It’s just unfair.”

“The others should make her leave.”

“Bane said it’s Than. He refuses to get rid of her. Claims they owe it to Crosby.”

The door opened, and I heard Forge greet them before it closed.

Silence.

I started to walk, but not toward the front door anymore. I wasn’t sure where I was going. All I knew was, I needed distance. To get away. I walked out of the backyard and into the darkness.

I was a burden. Someone who had been forced upon Bane and the others. Someone they did not want. I’d let myself believe otherwise when, deep down, I’d known the truth. I was a reminder of who they had lost.

I winced as something stabbed my bare foot, but there was a numbness settling over me. It eased the old, familiar ache that had begun to stir again.

The moonlight filtered through the trees just enough so I could keep from running into anything. A limb raked across my calf. The sting made me think it might have broken skin. Not that it mattered. I just needed to be alone. Out of the way.

I continued on, playing through everything they’d said. The trees became denser, and I stopped to look around. I couldn’t see the lights from the house in the distance. That was probably bad. Getting back could be an issue. I saw a log and went over to sit down. Wrapping my towel around my shoulders, I shivered and stared at nothing really. It was too dark to see very far in front of my face.

Bane had been gone for five days. Would he stay gone the entire pregnancy? Was my being here that difficult for him? I had thought he’d stopped hating me. I’d thought a lot of things. I seemed to always do that. Want something so bad that I convinced myself it was true.

Maybe now, I’d finally learned my lesson.

I wasn’t meant to have a place to call home.