Traum Junge (Dream Boy)
[48]

◄INTERNAL SUICIDE►

I woke up to the sound of my alarm on a Monday morning. The sheets I slept on were cold. The floor was garnished with different types of alcohol that I emptied the past few weeks I’ve been left alone.

Alone—something I never thought I’d be ever again, and yet here I was.

On some days, I had to remind myself that you weren’t going to be there to catch me anymore, but on some nights, I leave my window open for you to sneak into (That didn’t work out so well. I ended up sporting a flu the next morning, and that led to many more day shifts I’ve missed because I kept fooling myself that you’re coming back to me, like you promised.)

So I took graveyard shifts more often now, and sleep when my body is exhausted and my mind doesn’t give a fuck about who’s who anymore. That was how I spent the next five months after your grave: internal suicide.