True Fated Marriage (Grace and Heinz) -
Chapter 358
Alice's words were like a sharp knife piercing into Jensen's heart. In an instant, he felt unbearable pain in his heart.
At that moment, he was truly sorry and regretful. What he had done to a young girl six years ago had affected her deeply and was such a traumatic experience to her.
He felt extremely uncomfortable and was full of self-reproach.
Looking at the girl in front of him, who was in so much pain and even hated herself, he felt extremely regretful.
"Alice." Jensen's voice sounded very harsh when he spoke, "You are not dirty."
"How can I not be dirty?" She asked with a wry smile. Her eyes were glossy with tears as she said self-degradingly, "I lost my virginity at seventeen years old, before I even reached adulthood. I'm no longer clean."
When Alice thought of that night and those things that had happened, her heart was filled with pent up frustration that almost killed her.
Despite being in a drowsy state, she still wanted to drink, hoping that she would forget all her sorrows after getting drunk. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get drunk.
She had not eaten anything so her stomach was burning from the alcohol. She felt extremely agonizing.
Jensen looked at her with distress in his eyes. He reached out his hands to hold her shoulders and continued to look at her.
His eyes were full of pity and anguish as he stared into Alice's eyes until he saw the depths of her.
Suddenly, Alice stretched out her hand and pushed him, but she had little strength left after drinking so much. Her gentle push seemed to be teasing.
Her voice sounded a little hesitant and filled with disgust, "Don't look at me with such pitiful eyes. I don't need your sympathy."
"I'm not sympathizing with you," Jensen explained immediately.
Alice raised her eyebrows, and there was a glimmer of confusion in her eyes.
She seemed to notice that Jensen was staring at her with such a deep gaze. His eyes were bottomless, full of profound emotions.
Perhaps she was lacking in strength earlier, therefore, she wasn't able to push him away.
She hesitated for a moment and reached out to push him away again. This time, she pushed his chest.
However, Jensen stretched out his hand and grabbed hers.
Her small hand was trapped in his huge palm. His hand was warm and damp with sweat.
Alice's reaction was a little slow. She frowned and looked at him, wondering why a grown-up man's palm was so sweaty.
"W-What are you doing?" She slurred.
"Alice, I'm serious about you," said Jensen as he stared at her deeply. He expressed his serious intentions through his words, saying, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Alice raised her eyes slightly and met his gaze again.
His eyes were so deep.
It was quiet outside the window. The night sky in the wee hours of the morning was so peaceful.
Alice smiled bitterly again and said, "Will you still want to spend the rest of your life with me, even after I have been defiled by others? Even if we can't do what a married couple ought to do?"
Jensen's heart skipped a beat. He didn't quite understand the complete meaning of Alice's words.
In other words, he wasn't able to comprehend the magnitude of the hurt he had caused her.
Why did she say that she was unable to do what a husband and a wife ought to do?
Alice smiled again and added, "Jensen, I will feel uncomfortable when I get close to men. I'm a little better with you. We had even kissed each other, but I'm not sure whether I will be able to bear it if you go any further."
He suddenly opened his eyes wide and couldn't seem to believe what he had just heard.
Alice continued, "How about this..."
"About what?" he asked quickly.
"Let's give it a try," she said. She leaned forward, put her hands on his neck and her chin on his shoulder. Then, she said, "You said you don't despise me, and I'm willing to try it once. If we succeed, we can be together. But if we fail, you don't have to waste time on me. I really don't wish to delay you."
"Try it?" Jensen, who was stunned, asked. He found that he couldn't keep up with Alice's train of thoughts. "How do you want to try it?"
"Let's sleep together today," she replied, her dull voice vibrating on his shoulder. "I also want to give it a try, but I don't think we will succeed."
After hearing Alice's words, Jensen felt astonished and horrified. Then, he was engulfed with immense distress.
He shook his head and said, "Alice, let's not give it a try!"
"Why?" she asked.
"I can wait for you until you are willing to do it," he said. He had long been prepared to use the patience that he had never used in his entire life to handle that matter.
He would not hurt Alice.
"I'm willing to do it now." Alice placed her hands on his shoulders, raised her eyes to look into Jensen's eyes and said, "Jensen, have you ever heard that alcohol will invigorate people's courage?" Jensen frowned slightly and nodded.
"That's how I am now," she said as she pointed at herself, mocking herself. "I'm a weak coward who tries to appear to be strong. I have drunk alcohol and I'm now with you. I think, maybe I can give it a try." "What on earth do you want to try doing?" Jensen looked at her in surprise and asked, "Do you know what sleeping together means? Do you understand?"
"It's to do that kind of thing." She blurted out.
He was astonished again.
Jensen was really surprised. This silly girl really gave him a shock.
"Let's give it a try," Alice repeated. "Let's do it together."
After saying that, she stretched out her hand and pushed him to the ground. Then, she pinned him down.
Jensen was extremely startled and he quickly shouted, "Alice, you are not sober. Listen to me, get off me."
"I won't get up," she answered while shaking her head. "I don't want my life to continue in this way. I don't want to be someone who has an inferiority complex and keeps trying to run away."
She wanted to overcome herself.
"This is very dangerous," Jensen yelled. "Alice, this is not safe for you."
It was difficult for men to do nothing when a woman threw herself at them. Jensen was not a celibate.
However, he could not hurt her again in order to satisfy his own selfish desires.
"Jensen," Alice whispered. "You don't have to be so
nervous. Actually, you might not succeed, burp-"
As she spoke, she suddenly had a hiccup.
Then, she pulled her lips away awkwardly and started to blush. She kept patting her ears.
"I'm sorry," she spoke again.
"It doesn't matter," Jensen said while reaching out to hold her waist gently so that she would not fall to the ground. "Let's try it," Alice insisted. "I want to try and see whether I can do it. I want to know whether I'm able to do it." "Alice, the words 'can' and 'able' are only applicable to men," Jensen gently corrected her helplessly. "Then, can you do it?" Alice looked at him, with her little face close to him.
With her taking the lead, how could he be unable to do it?
If he could have it his way, he would make her his woman.
"I can." he nodded and replied, "but I can't hurt you."
He could not hurt her, not again.
Alice looked at him, and her eyes were suddenly teary, "If you can't sleep with me for the rest of your life, will you still wait for me?"
He pursed his lips, nodded without hesitation and answered, "Yes, I can wait."
"Fool," whispered Alice with her eyes filled with tears. "Jensen, are you a fool?"
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