Variation: A Novel
Variation: Chapter 22

Ballet4Life97: Are you trying to mix Vaganova with Balanchine? Because it’s not working for you.

“You should have told me you were coming,” Anne said, clasping Eva in an awkward hug. “I would have made up your room for you.”

“Or at least put away the kid,” Eva muttered as Anne stepped back, sending a worried look my direction. “Seriously, though. What’s going on?” She let her bag fall from her shoulder to the ground.

“I’m Juniper Mecarro,” Juniper answered. “Sean and Caroline Mecarro’s daughter, but Lina was my biological mother. Or first mom. Or birth mom. Depends on what terminology you like. I prefer biological mother, but I reserve the right to change my mind as I grow.”

“Lina?” Eva’s startled gaze flew to mine and I nodded. She got the same response from Anne. “Lina had a kid no one knew about, then—” Her plucked brows furrowed. “Caroline Mecarro, as in your sister?” she asked Hudson.

“That would be her,” Hudson answered, his hand warm and steady on my back.

“Let me guess, Gavin’s her father.” She studied Juniper as a science experiment.

My heart stuttered at the possibility, but Hudson shook his head. “No. I took a DNA test after Allie did just to rule him out.”

“You never told me that,” I whispered, which seemed foolish, since everyone could hear.

“Figured it wasn’t a big deal since there’s no blood relation.” His thumb stroked down my bare spine in a soothing rhythm.

“Great, so who’s her father?” Eva asked, tugging her long brown hair over her shoulder.

“We don’t know,” Juniper answered, and her brow furrowed. “Your Seconds this morning was kind of mean.”

Eva’s head snapped toward our niece. “I was showing proper technique in piqué turns, and aren’t you a little young for social media?”

“Looked to me like you were showing that you could have danced Giselle better, since you used performance footage to compare. Didn’t even monitor the comments trashing Allie.” She shrugged. “But what would I know. I’m ten.”

Eva had what? My back stiffened.

“Huh.” Eva flashed a performance smile at Hudson. “Cute kid.”

“Thanks.” Juniper grinned, flashing a set of little dimples at the lower edges of her mouth, and Eva’s eyes narrowed.

“Let’s go before this gets any more awkward.” Hudson’s hand slipped from my back, and I pretended I didn’t immediately miss it. “Allie, I’ll pick you up Monday?”

“Eight a.m.,” I agreed. “See you in a couple days, Juniper.”

“Bye!” She waved at us. “You’re going to have so much fun camping with us!” she promised as Hudson ushered her out the door, then closed it behind them.

“Eva,” Anne started.

“Don’t you think it’s time to take off the rings?” Eva interrupted, leaving her bag in the foyer and heading for the living room. “I know a few guys, if you’re ready to get back out there. A few girls too.”

“Oh.” Anne ghosted her thumb across her wedding and engagement rings. “No. Not yet.”

I stared at Eva like the wild card she was. What would she do with the information about Juniper’s existence? She could be petty when pissed, but I didn’t see her running to Caroline out of spite.

“So, I don’t know what’s weirder.” Eva picked up Anne’s book from the armchair and shut it, then set it on the end table as she sat. “That Lina apparently had a kid when no one was looking, or that you’re going camping.”

“I’m happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” I perched on the edge of the couch, far enough from my phone to not give in to temptation and see what people were saying under whatever scathing video Eva had posted. Anne took the seat beside me.

“As if my showing up at the family beach house is more peculiar than what just happened there?” She gestured to the foyer. “We finished the summer performances last night—thanks for coming, by the way, Allie.”

I dropped my gaze, regret gnawing on my insides. The only thing going back to New York had shown me was that I wasn’t quite sure I liked who I was when I was there. If I even knew who I was. I’d only felt like myself around Hudson.

“I already told you, it’s hard on her,” Anne chastised.

“Don’t cover for me.” I looked Eva in the eye. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.”

“You’ll be back for next time.” She shrugged, kicking off her shoes before tucking her legs under her. “I brought you a few bagels from that shop you like down the block, since I thought you might be missing the city.”

“Thanks.” As an apology for whatever she’d posted? “That was sweet of you.”

“Oh, and Vasily announced the fall program.” She looked at me knowingly.

“On the website?” Breathe. Vasily frequently changed his mind. Just because he told me Equinox would be one of our three selections for fall didn’t mean it actually would be. Not until he made it public.

“On the website.” She grinned and her eyes lit up. “He listed Equinox, Allie. You’ll finally have a role created just for you! Congratulations!”

The air rushed out of my lungs.

“That’s amazing!” Anne leaned over and squeezed my shoulders. “I can’t wait to see it.”

Joy, disbelief, pride, every emotion flooded me simultaneously, but anxiety fisted my heart hardest. “He listed it. We’ll really get to do it.” I smiled, choosing to let the joy win.

“Casting is TBD, of course, not that everyone doesn’t know it will be you and Everett, but . . .” Hope flared in Eva’s eyes. “I figured if you helped me for a day or two, I’d have a leg up when rehearsals start and I’d have a shot at getting soloist. Please say yes.”

“Did Isaac put out the choreography?” That should still be six weeks away.

“No, but everyone knows he’s fucking Charlotte, and she’s been . . .” She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “She’s been practicing, Allie. I’ve seen her in the studio hours after everyone else, with Isaac. If you’re not ready, she’s gunning for your part.”

Nausea turned my stomach. “She’s a soloist. If I’m not ready, the part will go to Reagan or Candace. They’re principals.”

“You’ll be ready,” Anne declared.

No, I was about to take days off to frolic in the woods. Shit.

“So Lina really had a kid?” Eva changed subjects so fast it gave me whiplash. “Why would she give her to Caroline? She hates us.” Her nose scrunched. “Caroline’s cool with her being here? I’m pretty sure she’d rather set fire to our house then let her daughter hang out.”

“She doesn’t know,” Anne told her. “Not yet. We’ll tell you everything we know—”

“No need.” Eva shrugged. “She’s cute. Totally looks like Lina’s pictures, but I doubt I’ll see her much.”

“We’re hoping to change that.” Anne flashed an optimistic smile.

“Why?” She took Anne’s water bottle from the end table, twisted the lid, and took a drink. “If she’s happy, then leave her be. Obviously Lina didn’t want us interfering or she would have told us.” She set the water down. “But you really don’t know who her father is?”

“No.” Anne stiffened. “We figure it has to be someone from San Francisco.”

“Huh.” She stood, then threw her arms above her head, stretching. “I’d ask Jacob. I think he was out there around that time. Spent a couple years in their corps. He might know who she was screwing. Are you seriously going camping?” She addressed that question to me.

“Yes.” I nodded. “Trying to get in Caroline’s good graces so she won’t file a restraining order when we tell her we’re Juniper’s biological family.” She was right: Jacob would be a good place to start. Everyone else I knew and trusted had started and stayed in New York.

“For how long?”

“Three days,” I answered.

“You’re going to take three days off training to go hang out in the woods?” Her voice rose. “You can’t afford the time off.”

“She can,” Anne argued, tucking her curls behind her ears. “She needs a life outside the Company. We’re encouraging this, Eva.” Her tone shifted into something close to Mom’s.

“We’re encouraging her fucking off and not taking her position or upcoming role seriously in order to spend time with a kid Lina didn’t want us to know she had?” She scoffed. “Super responsible, Allie. Mom would be so proud.”

“Low blow.” I stood. “I’ll make up the days, and my therapist thinks it’s a good idea. Getting out of the studio and camping,” I clarified. “Not the lying to Caroline. I’m going to go pack.”

“I don’t get how you can have everything, and not fight to keep it,” Eva said, following me out into the foyer. “I would kill to have half your talent, and you just piss it away. It’s so unfair.”

“Stop fighting,” Anne ordered.

“Is that what the video was about?” I reached the first step, then turned around. “Retribution for not going last night? Or showing the world that you’re more talented? Are you so desperate to prove your worth that you need a million people to tell you that you’re better than I am? Is the validation you get worth throwing me under the bus of the internet?”

Her face fell. “Our follower count was stagnant, and you hadn’t filmed any rehab content, and you agreed to let me use footage of you—”

“I agreed to help my sister!” The shout filled the empty halls of the house.

“We both know they just want to see you!” Her hands curled. “You’re Alessandra Rousseau—everyone in the world loves you, worships you, validates you! I’m just the little sister the Company let in to keep you happy.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” I shook my head. No one knew me well enough to love me—except my sisters. “Vasily doesn’t do nepotism. He didn’t hire Lina that first season, remember? He’d made her work for it, develop another year before trying out again, just like you. Stop playing the pity card, Eva.”

“Right.” Eva drew the word out sarcastically. “Because Maxim’s last name has nothing to do with his role as a choreographer.” She rolled her eyes. “Drop the humble facade and admit it for once. You’re the queen—”

“Stop it!” Anne put herself between us, throwing out her arms and flaring her hands. “You will stop it right now! We’re never out here together, and you two will not do this.” Her gaze jumped between us. “This isn’t what Mom had in mind when she wanted us to spend more time together—”

“Let’s call up Mom and ask her.” Eva reached for her pocket, then looked at me. “Or are you only getting one-word answers? She’s still ashamed of you, isn’t she?”

My fingernails dug into the banister.

“Enough!” Anne snapped. “You know damn well Dad wouldn’t stand for you talking about her like that, and Lina would have—” She snapped her mouth shut and took a deep breath.

Guilt slammed into me with the force of a semitruck, and Eva looked away, wrapping her arms around her waist.

“We’re all that’s left, guys,” Anne said softly. “It’s just the three of us. No one has had an easy year, but we have to do better, be better for each other. We just do.”

I deflated. We were the only three pylons left on the pier. We wouldn’t make it through another storm if we didn’t lean on each other. If it made Eva feel better to post an already public video of my injury, then fine. It was a small price to pay for my sister to get whatever she needed from that stupid app.

“I’m sorry,” Eva whispered, slowly raising her eyes toward mine. “I’ll take it down.”

“Thank you. And I’m truly sorry. I should have gone last night.” I glanced at Anne and sighed at the desperation in her pleading eyes. Out of the three of us, she was the one whose world was in upheaval, and she deserved better than this. The least I could do was help smooth things over. “I’ll help you,” I told Eva. “I have two days before I leave with Hudson, and I’ll teach you what I know about the soloist parts for Equinox.”

“Thank you!” Eva lit up, but it was the relief in Anne’s eyes that made it worth it.

Metal clinked above me, and I looked up the stairs to see Sadie trotting down, freshly awake from her nap. “Hey, girl.”

“Holy shit, you have a dog?” Eva exclaimed. “What the hell is going on around here?”

“Just go with it,” Anne lectured. “That’s our new motto.”

We worked all weekend, taking breaks only to ice our feet, and by the time Eva left Monday morning she had a good grip on most of the choreography. She’d left her room a mess, and ransacked Lina’s closet when she needed an extra sweater, but at least she’d felt more confident when she left for the airport.

My motivation for working myself to the bone had been Charlotte. Like hell was she taking the role that had been created for me. But while the days in the studio had invigorated Eva, they’d shown me how far I still had to go in my recovery. I’d fallen more times than I cared to admit, mostly due to being out of shape for pointe, lack of confidence, and fear of reinjuring my ankle. Out of the three, the fear was a real career killer. If I couldn’t get past it, I may as well retire.

“You’ve been quiet the whole drive,” Hudson said as we pulled into the gravel parking lot near the lake. “Should I worry?”

“No. Just preoccupied.” We got out of the truck, and I stared up at the thick canopy of beautiful foliage from the trees. It was peaceful out here. “I forgot to tell you. I called Jacob a few days ago—you met him at the gala—”

“Harvey. Principal dancer. I remember.” Hudson reached into the jam-packed truck bed and tossed me my backpack, a framed little number Anne had insisted I buy for the trip.

“Thanks.” I slung it over my shoulders as I took stock of whose cars were already in the parking lot. Everyone’s. “He said he remembers Lina getting injured in January and taking a leave of absence to heal. Apparently, it was why he hadn’t questioned why I don’t rehab at the Company. He figured it was just the way our family recovered.”

“He didn’t know she was pregnant,” Hudson guessed, grabbing his bag.

“Nope.” I clipped the strap across my chest. “Back to the drawing board.”

“Shit. Well, let’s get you a tour and settled in at the cabin, and I’ll come back for the rest of the gear,” Hudson said, slipping on his own pack.

“I’ll follow your lead.” I offered a small smile.

He grinned, then laced his fingers with mine as we started down the wide graveled trail. “Just in case anyone’s watching,” he whispered, then lifted the back of my hand and pressed a kiss to it.

My chest went all warm and gooey. There was no one out here and we both knew it, but I didn’t snatch my hand back.

“You ready to spend three whole days with the Ellis crew?” he asked.

“I’ll be Caroline’s favorite by the time we leave,” I promised, mostly to hype myself up.

“You’re already mine.”

I rolled my eyes, but the warmth in my chest burned brighter. “This isn’t real, you know.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Allie.” He squeezed my hand. “Besides, for the next three days it is. By the time we leave, I will have convinced you to give it a go for the summer.”

“So arrogant.” I fought a smile as we started down a steeper portion of the trail and the edge of the lake came into view. “We’re not pushing our beds together.”

“How would you know about pushing beds together?” He glanced sideways at me with a definite smirk.

“Juniper told me all about it.” My thighs protested the angle of decline, and I fought to push the pain away. Every freaking muscle in my body ached from too many hours in the studio with Eva. “And that the best cabin is four because it’s near the outhouse.”

He laughed, and the sound did absolutely nothing to dispel the sweet, inconvenient pressure behind my ribs. In fact, it freaking fed it. “I like seven, personally. It’s closer to the water, but we’re late, so I’m sure one of my uncles already took it. And don’t worry. We won’t push the beds together until you ask.”

I waved away a flying bug. “Not happening.” I’d liquefy into a puddle the second he put his mouth on me, and my survival required I remain in solid forms at all times. Rigid, even.

“We’ll see.” This time his dimple popped and I quickly looked away. The man was too gorgeous for his own good, and way too gorgeous for mine.

“Hudson! Allie!” Mrs. Ellis called out, grinning wide as we reached the pavilion. The covered patio held four picnic tables and a grill, and had a stellar view of the tree-lined lake. She hugged us both, and I accepted the warm embrace a little more naturally than I had at the beach. “It’s good to see you two.” She handed Hudson a key with a mini canoe paddle attached. “You’re in nine.”

“That’s yours,” he argued. “I’m not taking your favorite cabin.”

“Well, the rest are all full”—she peeked over her purple-striped glasses—“so he who arrives late will take what is offered to him with grace and gratitude. Everyone else is unpacking, so get to it.”

“But it’s yours.” He glanced at me like there was any chance in hell I was getting in the middle of this, and I put my hands up. No way was I causing a fight before we even unpacked.

“Your dad wanted four. Nine is the farthest away, and apparently, he ate something last night that just—”

“Say no more.” Hudson’s hand closed around the key. “Looks like we’re in nine.”

“Lead the way.” I adjusted my backpack on my shoulders.

“Oh, and they remodeled nine, eight, and seven this year,” Mrs. Ellis noted with an excited smile. “Tell us what you think. I bet six, five, and four will be done by next summer.”

“Will do,” he promised.

“Lunch is at twelve,” she reminded him before turning to me. “Allie, we’re so pleased you could join us. If at any time Caroline acts like a sour fish, treat her like one and toss her ass in the lake.”

My mouth dropped open, but she turned and headed down one of the paths to what I assumed was cabin four.

A five-minute hike later, we stood just inside the open doorway of cabin nine, staring at the cozy primitive-style interior with more than a little shock.

“This isn’t happening,” I whispered.

Hudson rubbed the back of his neck. “Let’s ask someone to trade.”

“Absolutely not. They’ll think I’m an asshole,” I hissed, looking around the twelve-by-twelve space like there was any other solution. Somehow we’d stumbled into every cliché in one of Anne’s romance novels.

“I mean . . . on the bright side, we won’t have to push the beds together,” Hudson noted.

“Kind of impossible when there’s only one of them.”