Variation: A Novel
Variation: Chapter 23

NYFouette92: OMG. No way. The way I RAN to the comments!!!

Waking up next to Allie ranked as one of my favorite lifetime moments. It was right above graduating from rescue swimmer school, and just below the first time I’d seen her clinging to that sinking boat, all flustered cheeks and big brown eyes.

I propped my head on my hand and shamelessly watched her sleep, her body curled toward mine even though we were in separate sleeping bags, and noted the dark circles her long lashes rested against. We’d come to bed early when I’d realized she’d fallen asleep against my shoulder next to the campfire, but even a good ten hours of sleep wasn’t going to help the exhaustion she’d driven herself into. It had nothing to do with yesterday’s hike, or the late-afternoon swim either.

“I don’t want to wake you,” I whispered. “But I know you love bacon, and if we wait any longer, there won’t be any left.” Not with my nieces and nephews running amok.

She rustled with a deep breath, then sank farther into the pillow.

“Allie,” I said softly.

Her eyes fluttered open, and my heart lurched as she smiled at me. “Hudson,” she murmured, then fell right back asleep.

Yeah, I could get used to waking up like this every single day for the rest of my life.

You can’t even get her to agree to a summer. But I would.

If it wasn’t for our mission to humanize Caroline, I would have let Allie sleep and brought back breakfast, but unfortunately, my sister would see that as Allie being spoiled instead of me being thoughtful.

“Hey, love,” I tried again. “You’d better wake up or you’ll have to catch the only protein you’ll get for breakfast with a pole and a lure.”

“I don’t know how to fish,” she muttered as her eyes opened again.

I grinned. “Well aware. We need to get moving.”

She nodded with a groan of protest, and we both unzipped our bags. “Look at us, making it through the night without falling prey to the one-bed trope.” Her feet hit the floor.

“The what?” We both rummaged through our packs on separate sides of the queen-size bed, pulling out clothes.

“You know, like in a book or a movie where the couple can’t stand each other, but there’s only one bed left at the inn, and they end up sleeping together.” She turned her back, and I did the same, repeating the same awkward dance we’d done last night to get ready for bed. One-room cabins didn’t exactly leave room for privacy, and neither of us was willing to risk being caught out on the porch while the other changed if any of my family happened to walk by.

“Don’t worry.” I yanked my shirt over my head. “We still have tonight.”

“Shit,” she muttered as I pulled on my shorts.

“Problem?” I focused on my socks and shoes to keep from turning around.

“I got marshmallow all over the front of my sweatshirt trying to help Juniper with s’mores last night, and now everything in the forest is stuck to it.”

I reached into my bag and pulled out my black hoodie, then threw it backward over my head to her. “Take mine.”

“I’m dressed. You can turn around,” she said, a hint of—dare I think—happiness in her voice. “And thank you.”

I tucked my phone into my pocket, just so I could snag some pictures, then turned and stared as Allie walked around the end of the bed.

Holy fucking hell was she perfect.

“Should we get going?” She pulled the wavy mass of her hair into some kind of topknot.

My hoodie swallowed her, shorts and all, leaving the impression that she was naked underneath, and drawing all my focus to those long flawless legs. Perfect, toned, silk-smooth legs I’d had over my shoulders, her thighs locking so beautifully tight around my head as I licked—

“Hudson?”

I swallowed. “Yeah, we should go.”

“You all right?” She pushed the sleeves up her arms.

“Yep.” I followed her out the door and into the crisp morning air. “Just remembering the way you taste.” Honesty was the best policy . . . when possible.

She startled. “Well, good morning.”

“Would have been a way better morning if I’d woken you up with an orgasm.” We started down the worn path toward the other cabins. “I do enjoy breakfast in bed.”

“You can’t say things like that.” Her cheeks flushed, and birds chirped in the trees.

“You like it when I say things like that.” We passed cabin eight. “You also like it when I call you love, when I kiss the side of your neck, and you definitely like it when I use both my fingers and my tongue—”

She covered my mouth with her hand, bringing us to a standstill.

I leaned into it and kissed the center of her palm.

Her eyes flared and her hand fell away. “Someone could hear.”

“Is that your only protest?” I grinned.

She glanced at my mouth once. Twice. Then she sighed and whipped her head forward, pulling the sleeves of my hoodie down over her hands. “That’s not happening again.”

I caught up as she walked down the trail, picking up the pace as we passed seven. “So you said the first time.”

“What is this, anyway?” She pointed to the logo above her chest.

“Nice change of subject. It’s the rescue swimmer emblem.” I looked her over, then put my eyes solidly on the trail. “You look good in my clothes.” Shit, I was not prepared for the immediate swell of possessiveness in my chest.

“So others may live.” She read it upside down.

“It’s our motto.” We passed six.

“As in you’re willing to die?” She glared up at me.

“Kind of comes with the territory.” I couldn’t help but smile right into her narrowed eyes. “Come on, you knew what I wanted to do. You knew it was dangerous.”

“Contemplating dream careers at sixteen is a little different than you actually flying off into potential death every day.” Two lines appeared between her brows as she looked forward and we passed five.

“How’s the reality of your dream career measure up to what you thought it would be?” We broke off the main path and took the smaller one toward what she’d called the outhouse but which was a full bathing station, indoor plumbing and everything.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “It’s everything I wanted, and sometimes even better than I could have dreamt, especially when performing. But it’s also so much worse.”

“Hold on.” I reached for her arm, stopping us just in front of the building. “Are you not happy?” Was I wrong in thinking the injury had sucked the joy out of her?

“Define happy.” She lifted her brows. “I’m at the top of my game—or will be once I’m fully healed—and have a contract as a principal dancer at one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world. I get to do what I love every single day and they pay me for it.”

“Not that you need the money,” I reminded her.

“I’m happy. Or at least content.” She headed into the restroom.

“Right,” I muttered as she closed the door.

A few minutes later—with brushed teeth—we headed into the chaos of the pavilion, which was in full breakfast mode.

Dad and Caroline stood at the flattop, laughing as they cooked, while Mom stacked the camping dishes to prepare to serve.

“Allie!” Juniper raced over and slammed into Allie, throwing her arms around her middle.

“Hey kiddo.” Allie hugged her back, then smoothed the hair out of her eyes. “How did you sleep?”

I caught Caroline watching from the corner of my eye.

“Not bad!” She bounced back on her heels. “We’re rope swinging today!”

“Oh.” Allie tensed. “That sounds . . . exciting.”

“You’re going to have so much fun!” She ran off to play with the twins.

“And suddenly, I’m chopped liver.” I brought my hand to my heart.

“Awh.” Allie clasped my hand, leaned into me and smiled, crinkling her freckle-spattered nose. “Is Hudson not the favorite for the first time in his life?” Her eyes lit with mischief, and if I hadn’t fallen for her eleven years ago, that look would have done it. Hook. Line. Sinker.

“Fine. You can be Juniper’s favorite.” I locked my arm around her waist and bent my head to hers. “As long as I’m yours.” I kissed her, slow and sweet, savoring the hint of mint that clung to her lips. She rose up and kissed me back, and I seriously debated telling my family to fuck off so I could carry her back to our cabin, but I kept my tongue behind my teeth.

I was never going to get enough of this.

“Why did you two even bother getting out of bed?” Gavin asked as he walked by.

“Good question,” I said against her mouth as I broke the kiss.

“Behave,” Allie ordered, her smile turning my heart end over end.

“Not in my vocabulary.” I let her go reluctantly so we could grab food, then mentally groaned when Allie sat at Caroline and Gavin’s table. Time to work.

“Nice hoodie,” Gavin said with a grin.

“Like it?” Allie glanced down. “I’m thinking of adding it to my Hudson’s Hoodies collection.” She bit into a piece of bacon.

If she used her teeth on me, I’d give her every hoodie I owned.

“So when’s the big day for your promotion?” Caroline asked me.

“You’re getting promoted?” Allie raised her eyebrows at me.

“You didn’t know?” Caroline countered, then sipped her coffee.

“I hadn’t told her.” I narrowed my eyes on Caroline before turning toward Allie. “Because I don’t know when it will happen. I made the list, but when you actually make rank depends on how many people they promote a month and how fast the list moves, so probably not until September. Maybe October.”

“Congratulations.” She smiled. Yeah, I was never going to get enough of that either.

“And where are you thinking of heading next, since your duty-station preferences are due like what . . . in a few weeks?” Gavin asked, side-eyeing Caroline.

“Your what?” Caroline fumbled her coffee but kept it from spilling. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“You get to choose where they assign you?” Allie asked.

I shot Gavin a look, and he had the nerve to shrug. “Kind of. My three years are almost done here. We give them a list of our top duty stations and they try to pair us according to the needs of the Coast Guard.”

“Cape Cod is your top, right?” Panic crept into Caroline’s eyes. “And what do you mean try?”

Allie slid her hand to my knee.

“Of course, I’ll put Cape Cod as my top choice—”

Allie tensed and her hand spasmed.

“—but just like the rest of the military, I serve at the needs of the military. My promotion means I’ll be looking to manage my own shop.”

“Okay?” Caroline’s brow furrowed.

“It’s a job title. I don’t just swim. We already have someone who manages the shop here, and if he stays, there won’t be a slot for me. And if they let me stay anyway, it would . . .” Fuck, how did I say this to her?

“It would hold back his career,” Gavin finished, setting his metal mug on the table. “Baby brother’s gotta fly the coop if he wants to keep climbing the ladder.”

Caroline stared, panic leaching into her blue eyes.

Fuck. I had one favor I could call in at the assignments desk, and that look meant I’d probably have to use it to stay.

“Is there a slot for you in Sitka?” Allie asked.

“There might be,” I answered softly.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted.” She stroked her thumb along the outside of my knee and nodded, the corners of her mouth curving. I slid my fingers over Allie’s and we both ate one-handed.

“You can’t go to Alaska.” Caroline shook her head. “What would . . .”

“You do?” Gavin interrupted. “That’s what you’re worried about, right? What you would do if he went and lived his life. You could, I don’t know, take Mom and Dad up on their offer to help, or hire a babysitter like every other working parent in America.”

Oh, shit. “Don’t,” I warned Gavin. “I can fight my own battles.”

Caroline flinched. “Staying near your family is a battle?”

“That’s not what I meant,” I said quietly.

“You know the café makes almost nothing with the overhead,” she hissed at Gavin.

“Sell the fucking thing. We all know you hate it.” He gestured at Allie. “Even Allie probably knows you hate it and she only ate there when she was a kid.”

Allie quickly took a drink of her coffee to avoid answering.

“Keep your voice down. Mom and Dad will hear you.” Caroline dug in to her scrambled eggs. “They built it from the ground up and, contrary to popular belief, I love that place. It’s just been harder to run on my own than I thought it would be. I never imagined I’d be doing it without Sean. I know how much you guys do for Juniper and I hate that I have to lean on you.”

“We know,” I said gently, and Gavin backed off.

“Is there anyone else you trust to keep an eye on her?” Allie asked carefully.

“Absolutely not.” Caroline shook her head. “I’ve seen too many crime documentaries.”

Allie cleared her throat. “She’s welcome at our house if you need extra hands.”

“Thank you.” Caroline stiffened. “But we’re not a charity case to take on so you Rousseau girls can feel good about yourselves. And I don’t want a houseful of professional ballerinas distorting her body image or putting ideas into her head that I can’t afford and don’t support.” She cringed, which was the only thing that saved her from me losing my shit. “Respectfully. Sorry, I’ve seen too many of those documentaries too.”

“I understand.” Allie popped a piece of bacon into her mouth, and I squeezed her hand supportively, then glared at Caroline.

She shot me an apologetic look and sagged in her seat.

The rest of breakfast passed in awkward silence, and I kept Allie’s hand in mine the entire time.

“How about you and I do the dishes?” Allie asked me once we were done.

Caroline’s jaw dropped.

“Excellent idea. I’m down for anything that gets you wet,” I teased.

“Excuse us,” Allie said to my siblings as she got up from the table. “I have to go wash his mouth out.”

I happily followed.

“Don’t tire him out,” Gavin called after us. “We’re rope swinging this afternoon!”

“Oh goody,” she muttered.

“I don’t think so,” Allie said as we sat on a blanket near the lakeshore that afternoon, watching Gavin pull the rope swing up the steep embankment at the base of the giant tree. Years had washed away some of the dirt on the lake side of her roots, but she was still standing.

“You’ll love it,” Juniper promised, sitting between Allie’s outstretched legs. Their toenails were the same color of pink. When had that happened?

“How deep is that water?” Allie asked, her fingers deftly braiding Juniper’s hair. “What happens if he smacks into a tree? Or lands on someone? And it’s humid today. What if your hands slip on the rope?”

“You’re about as fun as Mom,” Juniper accused.

“Meaning she’s utterly delightful?” Caroline dropped down on Allie’s other side and I shot her a warning look. “Thank you for braiding her hair. You didn’t have to.”

“No problem.” Allie tied it off with an elastic. “Three sisters. I can braid in my sleep.”

Three. She still counted Lina.

Gavin swung out on the rope, sitting on the barrel-top-size wooden disk that served as a seat, then let go at the highest point of the arc. He flew for no more than a second, then splashed into the water cannonball-style.

“Solid eight,” I called out and clapped, and Juniper hollered.

“Mom, can I?” she asked.

“Go ahead. Just make sure there’s someone in the water!” Caroline finished in a yell, because Juniper was already running for the tree where the twins waited.

“Takes after you.” Allie nudged me, then drew her long legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. She’d ditched the hoodie, and the hot-pink straps of her bikini peeked out of the collar of her MBC T-shirt.

“She does,” Caroline agreed. “Maybe she’ll be a rescue swimmer too.”

“Or you could let her dance,” I countered, my ire from this morning getting the best of me.

“Don’t start.” Caroline pulled her hair up.

“She could be one of the greats,” I prodded, wrapping my arm around Allie’s hip. “She’ll never know if you don’t let her try.”

“Your perception is skewed by your proximity to the Rousseaus,” Caroline replied, watching Juniper. “Talent like Allie’s is rare.”

Allie blinked. “While I think that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, I’d argue that Hudson’s talent is far rarer.”

Holy shit, was that a compliment? My head swung toward hers, replaceing her attention fixated on Mason as he swung out over the lake and splashed into the water.

“Than a professional ballerina?” Caroline reached for her backpack, taking out her sunscreen.

“Sure. There’s about four thousand of us throughout the country, but only three hundred and fifty Coast Guard rescue swimmers.” She leaned into me. “Makes him far more precious.”

“Hmm.” Caroline studied Allie for a second. “You’re a principal, right? The top of your field?”

“Yes.” Allie nodded, tensing slightly. “As long as I can fully recover.”

Caroline’s gaze skimmed to Allie’s feet. “And what’s left to accomplish? What motivates you when there’s no competition, no promotion to attain, no”—her focus shifted to me—“fantasy duty station?”

“I’m not a prima, let alone an assoluta.” A wry smile twisted Allie’s mouth. “Which my mother loves to remind me. So there’s that to work toward. And if by some miracle that title is bestowed upon me, then I’d still compete with my biggest rival, as always.” She glanced at my sister. “Myself. There’s always something I can do better, some technique I’ll always strive for but never perfect.”

“Because perfection is the goal?” Caroline asked, but there was no bite in her tone.

“Always.” Allie’s smile slipped, but she quickly bolstered it. “And it’s unobtainable, so there’s never a shortage in motivation.”

“You’re pretty perfect to me.” I brushed my lips over her temple.

She scoffed, but her eyes sparkled. “Says the man who had to teach me to ride a bike.”

“Allie!” Juniper called, cupping her hands around her mouth. “Will you braid Melody’s hair before she swings?”

Allie nodded. “Have an extra hair tie in that bag?” she asked Caroline. “Mine are all back at the cabin.”

Caroline dug into the bag and handed the elastic to Allie.

“Thanks.” She brushed a quick kiss over my lips and pulled away before I could grab hold of her to deepen it. “Be right back.”

“How many principals?” I asked as she climbed to her feet on the blanket. “There’s three hundred and fifty of me, but out of the four thousand professional dancers, how many of them are principals, like you?”

“Oh, honey.” She backed away with a smirk. “Don’t make me hurt your feelings.”

I scoffed, and she headed down the slope.

“Something’s different between you two,” Caroline noted, spraying her legs with the sunscreen. “She’s . . . lighter. I don’t mean skinnier, or anything about her weight—”

“I know what you’re saying.” I watched as Allie reached Melody, then started braiding her curly blond hair. “Her injury was devastating both physically and mentally, but she’s coming back to herself. Little by little, she’ll get there.”

“She’s smiling too.” Caroline sprayed her arms. “I would guess that’s all you.”

“I wouldn’t mind being the reason.” I smiled when Juniper laughed at something Allie said. “But I’m not taking credit for the work she’s put into herself.”

“Were you always in love with her? Or just this time around?”

My gaze flew to Caroline’s.

“Oh, come on, you’re about as subtle as a hippo in a pet store.” She offered the sunscreen, and I shook my head since I’d already applied some. “No judgment. I’m just being nosy.”

“Always,” I answered as Allie finished up Melody’s hair. “It took me until that second summer to realize what the feeling was, but I fell for her the first day I met her. She was clinging to the side of the world’s oldest rowboat, and she lifted her chin and demanded I get Eva to safety first, even though she was bleeding. She asked if I had siblings and said there was nothing more important to her than her sisters. I was a goner and didn’t even know it.”

Caroline’s head tilted as her gaze bounced like a ball between Allie and me. “That’s . . . annoyingly relatable. And admirable.”

“Because you’re determined not to like her?” I took my hat off and set it next to Allie’s, then started on my shoes.

“I know she’s not her sister.” Caroline’s mouth pursed. “But there’s just something about her—about that whole family—that sends warning signals screaming through my brain. They’ve always used their money, their influence, to further themselves. Screw whoever got stepped on.”

“Because her mother cut your best friend from your ballet class?” I set my shoes and socks on the blanket. “And yes, I know about that. It’s kind of fucked up that you got to take ballet and you won’t let Juniper.”

“Taking those classes is one of the reasons I won’t let her,” Caroline argued. “It was two years, and the girls were mean. The teachers were mean. You heard Allie. There’s an impossible standard of perfection that always leaves you feeling like you’ll never measure up. You think I don’t see the circles beneath Allie’s eyes?”

I couldn’t fight her on that last observation. “But you think she’s admirable, so we’re getting somewhere.”

Caroline rolled her eyes. “I think what she did was admirable, but the Rousseau girls always stick together, so I’m not surprised.” Concern puckered her forehead. “I’m still worried she’ll break your heart when she leaves, just like the first time.”

“That’s not what happened.” I stripped off my shirt and stood, watching Allie shake her head at Gavin as he gestured to the rope swing.

“I was there,” Caroline countered, stretching her legs over the blanket. “I didn’t know why you were crushed and silent before you left for basic, but now it makes sense. I remember the devastation on your face, and the emptiness in your eyes. You wouldn’t talk to me—to anyone—and Gavin told me not to poke.” Her tone sharpened. “So don’t tell me she didn’t break your heart. I saw the truth with my own eyes.”

“You saw your truth.” I pivoted to look down at my big sister. “But mine? I left her. I broke her. She was in the hospital, for fuck’s sake, looking at months of rehabilitation. Her sister died, and I didn’t show up for her. She woke up and I was gone. I was the prick and broke my own heart. Not Allie.”

“You wouldn’t do that.” Caroline’s jaw dropped, and she looked at me like I’d suddenly become a stranger. “You save people, Hudson. You don’t leave them.”

“But I did.” If she knew that I was constantly lying to her, she wouldn’t be so certain about my character. I was currently the hero in Juniper’s story, but I’d be the villain in Caroline’s once she learned that particular truth. I crouched to look her in the eye. “Truth always differs depending on who’s telling the story, and in complicated situations, there are countless variations. But when it comes to that summer, in every single variant, I’m the asshole who wasn’t strong enough to hold on to her.”

A splash sounded in the lake behind me, and the kids cheered Gavin’s name.

“Why would you . . .” She shook her head.

“I was a selfish fuck who cared more about what I wanted than what she needed.” My chest constricted like a vise. “I’m the one who has to earn her back, not the other way around, and it would really help if you could just lay off and be one less obstacle to overcome, because she’s it for me, Caroline. This summer might be all I have with her, but she’s it.”

Caroline blinked in surprise, then glanced at Allie. “Okay,” she said slowly, then nodded at me. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Relief lifted at least a hundred pounds off my back.

I walked down to the shore as Juniper went flying off the swing, then came up with a shout of victory as Gavin treaded water nearby.

“We’re up after Melody,” I told Allie when I reached her side.

“Very funny.” She watched, completely rapt as Mel caught the rope and started dragging it up the slope.

I knew that look. She’d worn it the night I met her at the bar with Gavin’s motorcycle. My girl wanted to swing and thought she shouldn’t.

“I’m dead serious.”

Allie snorted. “No way. I think Gavin flew fifteen feet through the air on his last jump. If I come down wrong . . .”

“It’s water, not concrete. Your mom isn’t here, Allie. You can have a little fun. It’ll be good for you.” I watched the expressions change on her face, her brow furrowing at first, then rising slightly as she pressed her lips between her teeth and tilted her head to the side. “The lake’s a good twenty feet deep around there. It’s safe.”

She side-eyed me. “It’s a God-only-knows-how-old rope tied to a God-only-knows-how-healthy tree that can bear God-only-knows how much weight, into—” She sucked in a breath as Mel hopped onto the seat and swung down and out, letting go at the perfect time to fall into the lake, squealing until she hit the water.

“You want to,” I prodded. “I can see it.”

“Like you know when I want things,” she muttered, folding her arms. “I have a great poker face.” Which she immediately ruined by raking her gaze over my torso and biting her lip.

“Maybe to everyone else.” I palmed her waist and turned, tugging her against me. “The water’s just how you like it, love. Wet. Deep. Safe. Come play.”

“You did not just make a sex joke.” Her gaze darted to the water.

“You can trust me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” All traces of teasing left my voice.

That got her full attention. She winced, then quickly smoothed her expression. “You can’t promise that.”

I brought my left hand up to her cheek and cupped her face, getting the feeling that she wasn’t just talking about the swing. “That’s exactly what I’m promising. We’ll do it together.”

“And what if I’m too scared to let go? Are you just going to fly off and leave me hanging?” She swallowed.

“I won’t let go until you do,” I promised, stroking her cheek. “We’ll swing back together, relaunch, and try it again. As many times as you need.” My stomach clenched. “You just have to have a little faith in me.”

She searched my eyes. “Do you think I’m absurd for being nervous? I mean, the kids aren’t scared.”

“You’re not absurd.” A smile tugged at my mouth. “They were scared the first time too. You’re just getting a later start.”

“Were you scared? Wait. Don’t answer that.” She threw up a hand and stepped out of my arms. “You’re never scared, which makes you a shitty barometer.” She blew out a slow breath. “All right. Let’s do it.”

“Really?” My grin was instant.

“Stop asking and let’s do it before I lose my nerve.” She yanked her shirt over her head, and I did my absolute best to keep my eyes off the swells of her breasts.

Damn my memory, I could still feel the hard buds of her nipples in my mouth, hear her little gasps of pleasure. Not right now. For fuck’s sake, we were surrounded by my family, and I was twenty-eight years old, not some hormonal teenager. This was most definitely not the time.

She shimmied out of her shorts.

Never mind. I was a kid in a candy store and Allie was pure sugar. Every inch of her was delectably perfect. Somehow, I managed to shut my mouth without drooling, and walk her down to the rope.

The kids climbed out, and Gavin trailed after them. “I don’t know how the hell you tread water constantly,” he griped. “I’ve got to go to the gym.”

I laughed, then took hold of the rope as Allie leaned out over the ten-foot embankment. “You ready?”

“We both can’t sit on that thing.” She motioned to the wooden disk.

“We’re going to stand.” I held the rope steady. “You hop on first, and I’ll pull us up the hill, and then jump on with you.”

She stared at the disk. “You could just let me go.”

“I could, but that would make me an asshole.” I crooked my hand at her. “Come on, Allie.”

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.” She gripped the rope with both hands, then stepped onto her side of the disk.

God help us if I ever took her bungee jumping.

“Good girl.” I locked eyes with her, then dug my heels into the ground and backed up, dragging her up the hillside. “I’m not going to jump on until you want me to.”

“Your exact word was need, if I recall,” she muttered.

“Now who’s making sex jokes?” I bit back a smile and we reached the sweet spot for taking off. “You tell me when.”

She took a deep breath, then another, and another, adjusting her grip on the rope. “How will I know when to let go so I don’t hit the shore down there instead of the water?”

“I’ll tell you.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” She nodded.

“You’re sure?” I prepared to launch.

“Right now!” she ordered.

I jumped with both feet and landed on the disk, then momentum swung us down the hill.

Allie shrieked, and I let go with one hand, wrapping my arm around her waist as we cleared the shore and shot out over the lake. I waited for the water to turn that deep blue that equaled depth, and shouted, “Now!”

The second I saw her let go, I did the same, and we flew.

The lake rushed up to meet us, and I held my breath before we hit. Water engulfed us, rushing over our heads. I slid my hand from her waist and grabbed her hand before I kicked for the surface.

I popped up a second before she did.

She gasped when she hit air, and I let her hand go so she could tread water, remembering that what was second nature to me wasn’t to her. “That was . . .” Her eyes locked on mine and she smiled wide. “That was incredible!”

And then she laughed.

I fell in love with her all over again. Not the quiet, observant girl she’d been, or the friend I’d let down, but the woman she’d grown into, beautiful and strong, scarred and still laughing.

She launched forward, threw her arms around my neck, and pressed her mouth to mine.

I kept us afloat, and then kissed the shit out of her, tilting my head and stroking my tongue into her mouth. I groaned at the taste of her, the delectable scrape of her fingernails along the back of my neck, and the heat of her body pressed against mine.

She whimpered, and the sound had me hard in seconds.

Need barreled down my spine, and I grasped the nape of her neck as she wound her legs around my waist, trusting me fully to keep us above the surface. I’d never wanted anyone—anything—the way I needed Allie. I kissed her like she was air and I’d spent the last decade swimming for the surface.

“Hey! There are kids out here, you know!” Gavin called out.

Allie pulled away, breathing hard and fast.

Fuck the rest of this day, I was taking her straight back to the cabin.

She must have seen my intention in my eyes, because hers flared, and she untangled herself, then swam slowly for shore.

I took off after her and prayed the water would cool my dick down enough to not scar my family for life. It was close, but I was in presentable shape by the time we got there.

Allie and I walked out of the lake and onto the little beach beneath the drop-off, where we were momentarily hidden from view. I pulled her into my arms, and she brought her hands to my chest, but didn’t push me away. “I want you.” I lowered my forehead to hers. “I will do anything to be with you, to keep you, to make this work. I have never felt anything more real in my life.”

She sucked in a breath. “It would never work. I’m going back to New York.”

“I don’t care. You’re here now. Give me your now.” My hands flexed on her waist. “Tell me you feel it.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, then nodded. “I feel it. It’s real.”

Thank you, God.

A shape flew over our heads, and our heads turned as Juniper swung out over the lake, then shouted happily as she let go. She hit with minimal splash as Mason and Melody cheered from above.

“She’s not supposed to do that unless there’s someone in the water,” I muttered, staring at the surface of the lake. My brow furrowed when she didn’t immediately pop up, and I started counting as the hair on the back of my neck rose.

“Hudson,” Allie whispered, her hands falling from my chest when I reached nine.

I turned fully toward the lake, then strode in, making it to twelve by the time the water reached my waist.

“Hudson!” Caroline screamed from above us.

“Stay here,” I called back to Allie, then dove.