Zenora, The Dragon's Fury
35. Emotions

Emily’s point of view:

I wanted to explode! My emotions are making me so confused, that I don’t know what to do with them. My mind was completely filled by sadness and anger, so much so, that I’m unable to replace out where to start with arranging them in an understandable order.

“They are in order already, Emily.” I suddenly heard in my mind.

“No they are not! I don’t know what to do!” I screamed at the clear woman’s voice.

“Yes, they are, you are only struggling to accept what happens around you.” The voice said again.

Now I understand who this person is, as she spoke the second time, I remembered that voice. It was the Moonlight Goddess! But why is she here? She surely isn’t just here to help me with my depression right? No, I’m not that important, she has the whole of Zenora to guide, not just me!

“Everyone I created is important to me, but especially you Emily. I have chosen you to bear all this power, because I know you are strong, you shouldn’t be so insecure about yourself.” She replied to my thoughts.

Oh, why do I only come across people who can read my mind! Can’t I just have some time for my own thoughts?

The Goddess chuckled, knowing I was being stubborn.

“Yes, indeed you are.” She replied to the stubborn part.

“But, I’m here to help you with your emotions. As I was saying, your emotions aren’t scrambled, you are just making excuses to not having to accept the things that come your way. I know how you felt, after you came home from traveling to each place, from rescuing the slaves. The moment you sat at the dining table with everyone you love, that was the moment where you started doubting yourself.” She said.

Well indeed, that was about the moment where I had a million-and-one questions as to why all the bad things were happening. That was when I was thinking that everything was my fault, that I was the one that was weak, that I was not worthy of being the ‘Chosen one’.

In fact, I still don’t think I am. Why should I? I can’t keep my loved ones safe, I can’t rescue all the children that have died because of that horrible Hayden, I can’t control my powers, I can’t…

“Yes you can control your powers. At this moment I am outside a red orb, hanging in the air, talking to a stubborn person, who decided that the pain and confusion she has, wasn’t something that she should bother others with. She wants to deal with everything on her own and doesn’t want to share her feelings. Yet, besides all the bad things that happened to her, she decided to do good with her powers.”

I couldn’t say a word. She was overwhelming me with her statement.

“When you got angry you could have wiped out an entire village, but you chose to encapsulate yourself and keep the energy of the Mage’s Fury inside you. Because you made the decision to not want to hurt anyone.”

Is she using my own statement against me? The one that I used against Hayden, about the part what you do when you are angry? Oh... she is good.

“Yes, of course I did! I’m not going to wipe out an entire village, or even kill one person, just to release this energy!” I replied to her.

“And that’s why I gave you the powers, you won’t succumb easily to the bad side of things. You are stronger than you think, but only if you allow yourself to accept the fate of others. I know that it is hard to lose those lives of the slaves and all those children. And I know that it is hard to lose your father, to see him die at the hands of someone bad. But you couldn’t have done it any other way, whether you were there or not, it was your father’s destiny to die that day.” She said.

“But how do I get through this? I am completely devastated by the fact that I won’t ever get to hug my dad again!” I yelled. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t anymore. I was just angry now.

“That is the part where I can’t help you. Grieving is the most difficult thing there is. All I can say, is that you are not alone, there are plenty of people who lost someone, talk to them. Talk to your loved ones.”

Oh, I hate it when someone is right about these kinds of things!

I guess my stubbornness did take over. As she said I wanted to do everything on my own. I thought I was the one that could take over every animal at the battle in the streets of Groyhull. I thought that I was the one that could rescue all the children and slaves on my own. And finally, I was thinking that I could save the others from Hayden and his Dark Mages, all alone.

Of course, I always brought others with me to join me on my quests. But, nonetheless, I was the one leading them, taking control of the situations, thinking I was capable of anything.

But even though I now realise that I can’t do everything on my own, that I need help from my loved ones, it still will be an awful time to deal with the passing of my dad. But I have to get through it, if not for me, then for my family and loved ones.

“Exactly.”

I sighed.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“How come I have the Mage’s fury at all? Didn’t I pass the mage’s powers through to my son?” I asked.

“No.”

“But you said...”

“I never said that I would take them, nor have I ever said that they would be passed on to your children.” She said a bit cocky.

“But you said you needed a power to heal Cirilya. I saw the green orb of druidic powers, being transferred to her!”

“I asked for a strong energy, not that I would need a complete power to heal one person.”

Oh.

“But I can’t use any druidic spells or abilities anymore. I tried!”

“When did you try?”

“Right after you left.” I replied. What is she getting at?

“And where did you get the idea that your powers would be passed on to your children?” She suddenly asked me.

“From Cirilya, Norim and some other whisp. They told me that my powers could be transferred to my offspring. That, that was the way to spread the ancient abilities again. And it is also within reasonable doubt, that I would lose them, when they transferred. As it would be dangerous and too much, for one person to bear.” Which I still believe.

“So, because I used your druidic powers to help Cirilya, you just assumed that they would be gone forever and never tried to use them again? Then when you saw your belly glow and feel the power slide to your sons, you simply assumed that those powers were gone too? Yes, I switched the power of Cirilya into that of an druid, but did it never occurred to you, that there was a temporary power required, to activate the power within your sons? And what of Axel and your new Rangers, they aren’t your offspring, so don’t you think that there is another way to spread the ancient abilities? Hmm, I thought you were smarter than that.”

“So, you mean I still have them?” Did my stubbornness just block the whole power?

Did the assumption of not having them anymore, caused me to not try hard enough? I was shocked... this explains why I still have the power to read minds and why I was able to hit a hole in a marble wall. I thought that that was just some leftover perk, of being the ‘Chosen one’, but I still have the mage and warrior within me! But... does that mean? No... the druid and... and dragon too??

“Now, you have much to think about. Go, share your thoughts, talk with your friends and family and become the Queen that will rule the kingdom with pride!”

“I will. Thank you.”

Right, so, uhm. All I have to do is get out of here, and talk to my loved ones. Yeah, great idea. Just one small setback there... How the hell do I get out of an orb that is made out of solid, rock-hard, magic?!

“Really?”

Shit, she wasn’t gone yet.

I heard a slight stomp in the distance, as if a bird flew against a glass window. The sound of crackling glass was heard soon after, and then the whole orb shattered into millions of pieces! Releasing me from my hold, at which I stretched my body, as if I have been sleeping for a whole month!