Endless abyss of unspoken words (Poetry)
Poem 12 - Road to Self-love

I wish I could have more friends,

But people just don't feel the same,

I'm not sure what do I do wrong,

That things end up being the same?

I should stop the false hope,

Because no one is coming home,

I wish I could just feel less alone.

My once best friend always leaves me on read,

My other friend just doesn't care,

I'm always there for everyone, so why is no one for me?

I get an overwhelming feeling of sadness,

Because no one truly appreciates me,

I am always looking forward to my friends,

But it seems that they just never feel the same.

No one can see I'm hurting because they never notice,

They accept I'm always there, not wanting to be lonely again,

But then they stop respecting and appreciating me,

Why for everyone, I'm just a nobody?

I wish I didn't care all the time,

It always seems that people are just blind,

I can't get it off my mind,

I should be happy; I have one real friend,

I should be happy; I have a few online friends,

But for most people, it seems I'm just nothing,

I wish more people could value me,

Why can't you see how much it hurts?

Why can't I be like all of you? Why do I even care?

I can't help feeling anxious when my friends get busy,

'Cause, it's like if I did something wrong,

I get scared and hopeless; I'm worried they'll leave me behind,

So I just snap out of fear,

Maybe I drop a tear,

I can't stop worrying, and it hurts too much,

I have to leave them behind instead.

It always feels so wrong; knowing they don't even care makes me very sad,

Always thinking about them drives me mad.

When I would give you my heart,

You'd mercilessly tear it apart,

If I gave you my time,

You'd throw it away just fine,

If I gave you my all,

You would make me fall,

And I learned that's how it just works,

And I am better on my own,

I've learned to live with myself just fine,

Maybe no one loves me, but I'll enjoy myself anyway,

Maybe someone loves me, and I can't return it, I'll love myself anyway,

Maybe no one appreciates me; I'll do it myself,

No one respects me; I'll do it just fine,

Barely anyone wants to be my friend; I am fine on my own,

I get an overwhelming feeling of sadness giving me its crown,

I know it'll all be just fine, loneliness and silence is my best friend,

Not only one, but I also have one great friend,

She keeps me alive and makes me rise,

So when it's lonely, she'll keep me company just fine.

I love her with all my heart, but not in the way she hopes,

Wish I could give her my all, knowing I just can't,

It makes me feel even more alone,

As I know, she's always in pain,

If I give someone else my love, it just ends in vain,

It seems that my efforts are useless,

Why do I still try, knowing I'll fail anyway, and cry?

I never want to get attached again,

And having no one makes me feel lonely,

Maybe I wish I could get some love,

However, nobody else feels the same.

I wish I could go to my best friend,

Yet I know it'd ruin our friendship,

And I can't help feeling a bit sad,

Because it sometimes hurts so bad.

"I am always there," people say, they'll be there for you, but they never are!

"I love you," they said but never did!

"I'll be your friend," they said and never bothered,

"I feel you," they said, having no idea how you feel.

Online friends are there at least, yet it's not the same,

I'm tired of getting attached to them,

How could they even genuinely care?

How could they even true love?

It's not worth getting attached; you'll only end up bruised,

Because they just don't feel the same.

I often wish I could be someone else,

And I know it was never meant to be.

So it's just me, myself and I,

Trapped in my thoughts,

And I know it'll be just fine.

Trapped inside my fears,

No one is here,

My tears are falling to the ground,

They no longer make a sound,

And that is alright; I've learned to live with myself,

And I'll love myself just fine!