I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him – Chapter 36

Liya’s POV

I feel a presence next to me. .I’m lying on the bed, I would like to open my eyelids to see who is there and yet I can’t do it, too exhausted.

I feel a weight on the bed, a smell that is familiar tickles my nostrils.

A warm hand ventures onto my shivering cheek at this contact…I

suddenly open my eyes. my lips stretch into a huge smile when I see Gabriel lying next to me.

— Gabriel…”, I whispered against his soft, relaxed face.

— Shuuut, he says, placing his index finger on my lips, which he stares at intently.

I swallow hard, not saying a single word as he asked me, with my free hand I in turn caress his cheek dotted with a beard and enjoy stroking his silky hair. I approach him, pressing my small chest to his hard chest and gently rub my nose against his.

— I missed you terribly, stupid, I said happily, placing a shower

of k****s on his jaw.

He closed his lips and savored the contact of my lips with his skin: he

suddenly circled my waist and caressed my hair.

— Thank you… ..

I move away from him, wondering why he is thanking me.

I am about to ask him but he stands up, places his large palms

on my stomach and places a tender k**s on this part of my anatomy.

— Thank you for this magnificent gift.

I smile, happy to see him in this state. this beautiful, contagious smile that he

gives me… I missed everything about him! But my heart squeezes painfully when her cheeks suddenly flood with tears, not tears of joy unfortunately.

– Why are you crying ?

I stand up worried, not understanding what is happening to him. I try to approach him but he moves away from me.

— Gabriel…why? Why these tears? “

He still doesn’t answer me and disappears from my field of vision.

— Gabriel…WAIT!!”

—Liya…Liya.

I suddenly open them when I feel a shock on my shoulder. I try

to resume normal breathing, and turn my face away feeling a hand on my cheek, Yanis’s!

— Calm down…it was just a dream, he said to me gently, wiping away a tear

that fell during my sleep.

I nod my head up and down closing my eyes.. a dream that seemed so real, I still feel Gabriel’s presence, his smile.. his tears which I don’t understand their meaning.

—Are you sure you’re okay? we can go back and…

— No. .no I’m fine don’t worry,

I notice that we are already parked in a deserted alley, I run

a hand over my face and stand up from my seat.

“I’m going to go,” I said.

– I come with you ? .

“I’ll be fine, Édouard, I can walk alone,” I got carried away.

He sighs for a long time then finally nods.

— Go, hurry up, I’ll wait there like we said..

I thank him and get out of his car. I take about ten steps before entering the huge cemetery. Yanis wanted to accompany me, since he knew how to deal with my pregnancy he has become kinder to me and I am still not used to his tenderness.

I walk a little further and stop in front of a grave covered with beautiful flowers; I swallow hard and sit on the floor.

Yanis’ point of view..

I close my eyes for a moment, my jaw clenched, it’s the first time she has come to visit my brother in the week since he left us.

During those days, she was at my house, stuck in Gabriel’s room impatiently waiting for his return. She wasn’t crying no, she was holding back all her emotions which is much worse. Today she took the initiative to

come see him by finally accepting his death.

I open my eyes and look for Liya. She is in front of his grave, squatting and touches with her fingertips his name written on the stone, her

lips move tirelessly. painful words she has to say and soon tears flood her pale face.

My brother…the one I cared so much about and learned to be a man from..he didn’t deserve it..I should be the one underground right now and not him…my God!

I angrily wipe away the first tears that erupt. I grit my

teeth as Liya’s cries of despair and pain pass through my

eardrums. She screams his name without having a response, seeing her in this state curled up on her grave, her face distorted by pain and tears compresses my chest.

I can’t do anything for her, her heart is bruised by her absence but mine is lifeless…I get out of my car without further delay, not being able to bear it any longer, I walk a few steps to get a little away from her but not enough for me to watch her. I light a cigarette and deeply inhale the smoke, which has the gift of soothing me.

I’m on my fourth cigarette, the sun is burning my skin but I don’t pay attention to it. Liya hasn’t moved an inch, her crying has diminished somewhat, I would like to leave here and as quickly as possible but I will still wait as I can’t leave her alone.

A car driving at high speed catches my attention…it then parks near mine. I frown and squint to see who it could be. I tense up at the sight of a familiar figure approaching in my direction…Xavier!

“My sincere condolences,” he said when he reached me.

I throw my butt on the ground without giving him a glance.

— Don’t feel obligated…we both know you don’t care.

— Your brother and I weren’t on speaking terms, but I’m not heartless.

I’m about to light a new cigarette when this idiot snatches it from my hands and starts smoking it…it was my last one too!

I curse inwardly and g***n with displeasure when he throws it away after barely using it.

He looks towards Liya and frowns seeing her so pitiful.

– Do not go ! “I growled.

“As if I were going to listen to you,” he hisses through his teeth.

He is about to join her but I firmly grip his arm stopping him from any movement.

— Take a look! Do you really think she would want to see you like this? I advise you to stay away from her.

He doesn’t say anything, sighs loudly. he knows I’m right! He remains like this for a good while, contemplating her from afar.

—And with his mother? Is everything going well between them? Are they living together again?

— They’re pretty close after what happened, and Liya is still at my house.

He turns around immediately, his menacing gaze meets mine.

– And why ?

Because she didn’t want to leave Gabriel’s room; from tomorrow she will live with her mother…but I simply shrug my shoulders for any answer, which apparently displeases her!

— I forbid you from approaching him…, he threatens.

— I was planning to test it to see if it was a good move.

He reduces the few centimeters that separate us and savagely grabs the collar of my shirt.

— Repeat a little a*****e! , thunders this idiot.

I forcefully push him away and angrily push him away from me.

—Who do you take me for? Do you really think I would do that to my brother?” I got carried away.

He rearranged his suit and tie, still with that menacing look on his face.

– You better Yanis. Liya is mine!

After these last words, he turns my back, takes long strides

towards his car, a few seconds later he finally disappears from my

field of vision.

I sigh loudly and also return to my vehicle feeling my skull explode from this intense heat. I place my head on the driving, I am exhausted, I am terribly lacking in sleep…

I jump when the door of my car closes violently, I pass a hand over my face, I have apparently fallen asleep, and the

sun begins to set.

I look Liya who has taken her place next to me, her swollen eyes are closed, she is breathing loudly as if exhausted, and her open mouth is dry. – Liya. –

Yanis

, let’s go back, please…, she implores me.

I hasten to start the car, I hand her a bottle of water which she drinks quickly.

After a few minutes of traveling, I park in front of my now

lifeless home, Liya rushes to go inside without waiting for me. I

join her immediately, she walks awkwardly into the living room and is about to go up the stairs in this state.

I stop him from continuing to move forward. She doesn’t protest, too exhausted I imagine, she circles my neck with her little hands and buries her face in my neck.

I go up the stairs without further delay, and when I get upstairs, I get ready to

take him to Gabriel’s room. where she was born the last few nights but I change direction preferring to take her to the guest room.

I shiver when suddenly she rubs her nose against my neck and inhales my scent several times.

“It’s…it’s the same perfume as Gabriel,” whispers one.

Yes, the one he gave me is identical to his, I won’t be able to part with it from now on.

I place her delicately on the bed, I wanted to move away from her but she tightens her grip around my neck.

“Stay, please,” she asks sadly.

I hesitate for a moment, take a deep breath, then finally lie down next to him. She snuggles up against me, always sniffs my scent to remember my little brother, my skin gets wet…she cries again. I take her in my arms, caressing her back and her hair trying as best I can to soothe her…. my tears flow by themselves, I hold her tightly against me so that she doesn’t see me weak.

— I will take good care of you Liya, Gabriel’s child is in you and it’s the most beautiful gift you give me, thanks to you there is always a part of Gabriel who is alive.

I delicately pass a hand over his shivering stomach, I will take care of them Gabriel I promise.