The Wannabe Warrior
Chapter 122

Zane POV

In the library with Jonathon, I listened to his deep melodious voice, soothing and calming. I follow his instructions and replace my wolf, he is sitting waiting for me.

As I approach Blaze, he starts to growl at me, baring his teeth in a threatening manner.

‘How does he look?’ Jonathon asked, gently, trying not to invade my mind too much.

‘Angry, like he is about to attack me.’ I replied honestly.

‘Take it carefully, sounds like he is still full of rage, this is not good for a wolf to hold onto so much for so long, he does sound unstable.’ Jonathon’s voice starts to waver a little and it distracts my thoughts briefly, but is enough, Blaze jumps at me, teeth bared, saliva dribbling from his mouth, like he is a rapid dog gone mad.

I fell backwards under his weight and rolled, so he was not on top of me. I punched him hard in the face, and stood up, facing him, getting ready for his attack. My chest hurts because he had dug a deep groove in my chest with his sharp nails and I think I might have a cracked rib.

‘Zane, get control, show him you are the boss, be the aggressor, don’t let him beat you.’ Jonathon’s voice echoes in the back of my mind, but I can’t spare a thought to it, as I square off with my wolf.

He jumps at me again, and I grab his snout and hank at his jaw. He whimpers and falls to the ground. I did not dislocate it, but it was close.

Blaze stands back up and shakes himself, he looks at me with such venom, you would not know we are bonded.

If he managed to kill me, in here, a virtual world, he would become a wild raging wolf with no destination, and would die soon after. He would never leave this virtual world again. I can’t let him die. I would survive, but live wolfless for the rest of my life, but he would die. He cannot survive without my body, he is like a parasite that lives within my body, we are one.

I can survive without him, he can’t. This idea keeps repeating in my head. I won’t die here, but a part of me would, if Blaze succeeds.

He attacked me again. I was a little slower to respond and he managed to take a bite on my shoulder, and I screamed in pain, as I rolled away and staggered to my feet.

I can hear Jonathon calling me in the back of my mind, but I cannot listen to him at the moment. I feel like I am weightless and moving, but I am standing still, staring in disbelief at my wolf, who has completely lost his mind.

‘Blaze.’ I called softly, not at all how I felt, I wanted to growl and scream and bellow at him, but for some reason, I didn’t.

He c***s his head at me, but does not change his stance or lose any rage in his eyes.

‘You kill me buddy and you will lose our mate.’ Hoping my talking would get to him.

‘Mine.’ He growls back at me, his eyes ablaze, showing where his name came from.

‘Ours.’ I countered back, just as possessive.

His ears fall flat on his head, and I know he is getting ready to attack again, and I don’t know if I want to bother fighting with him any longer. I have been fighting him since I had shifted at the age of twelve, and since the day we met Madison, he has got even more aggressive and pushes harder to be the one in control, and I am tired of having to constantly fight him over control, just because he thinks he knows the best way to handle our mate, and that is not submitting but to dominate her, force her to have pups and keep her home, safe, but that is not Madison, she needs to be free to run and be who she was born to be.

‘You think Madison will accept your anger; you saw how she ran out of the room crying because you yelled at her in your raging moment, you scared her, how can she want to be with us willingly if she is scared of us.?’ I tried one last time to reason with my wolf.

He c***s his head, as if thinking for a moment, and I briefly had hope he would listen and back down, but then charged at me again.

I grabbed his head as he got closer and we rolled over and over on the ground. He was one very large wolf and holding onto him was hard, it was like fighting myself, and wondering which part of me was going to win.

Blaze ends up on top of me, looking down, but I will not submit.

Somehow, I manage to roll him off and he attacks again, and again and again. I am getting so very tired of fighting Blaze, my other part of me, I feel so split in two at the moment and I was running out of words to get through to Blaze.

‘Buddy, if you want to die, then fine, die, but I will not submit to you, and I am fed up with fighting with you. I am okay with living my life with my mate and with no wolf, who has been my friend since I was a pup. I will be weaker and most likely won’t be king, but I won’t have you fighting with me any longer, so go ahead and kill me in this virtual world. I have had enough of you and your rage. It is not me who is always angry, it is not me who has made our mate fear us. But I will not surrender to you, just so you can ruin my life. I would rather die here with you, than give you control of me and my life.’ I say sadly, knowing what I say is true.

I let go of his head and rolled over, walked away from him to a tree. I sat down and leaned against the tree and waited to see what Blaze would do now. I won’t fight him anymore. I have at last found my way to who I am, or what I am prepared to be, and if that meant I did it without my wolf, so be it, my resolve was made. I felt lighter and better, now I had made that decision, and found who I am meant to be.

‘Blaze, you are my friend and the other side of me. I will be lost without you, buddy. But I would be even more lost without my mate. I cannot let you rule my life with your rage. I cannot let you harm our mate, she deserves the best I can give her, and your rage and anger, because you are not getting what you want, is not only puppy behaviour, but is cruel and harmful to our mate. And not what I want to give her’ I murmured as I tiredly closed my eyes and thought of Madison.

I wiped everything and everyone, including Blaze, out of my mind, and think of the night of the ball, the many times I made Madison erupt in pleasure, and the sounds of her m***s of more, I felt warm inside, and it was Madison in my virtual arms, spooning behind her, my right hand holding and caressing her left breast, and I was giving her k****s down her neck and feeling her squirm in pleasure, and I fell asleep, with her in my virtual arms, complete and content, whatever Blaze did now, was on him, I have found where I want to be.